1-up Boo: Finally, my first Interview!
Audience: …
1-up Boo: WAKE UP!!!
Random Shy Guy in audience: What? Where am I?
1-up Boo: YOU! Come up here.
(The Shy Guy comes up.)
1-up Boo: Greetings, Shy Guy of the Shy Guys. Today is my first Interview and I shall do it on you!
Shy Guy: But-but I have stage fright!
(The Shy Guy starts running around crazily.)
1-up Boo: Ugh.
(1-up Boo grabs the Shy Guy and ties him to a chair.)
1-up Boo: Comfy?
Shy Guy: No.
1-up Boo: Just how I like it. Now you will participate or else!
Shy Guy: Eep!
1-up Boo: Let me ask a classic question. What’s under a Shy Guy’s mask?
Shy Guy: Two yellow eyes. If you play Luigi’s Mansion you’ll see it for yourself.
1-up Boo: Weren’t those ghosts?
Shy Guy: Well yes, but those were glowing; regular Shy Guys just have regular yellow eyes. Since they were ghosts they were probably able to make them that way. That or the ghost gas/mist went on their eyes, making them glow.
1-up Boo: Fascinating. In Paper Mario why or how did you get those copters?
Shy Guy: Some of us that worked for Bowser saw the Clown Copter that he has. We loved it so much and really wanted to try it out. Obviously Bowser wouldn’t let us even touch it… so we decided to make our own. We snuck out of the castle and went to a perfect spot where we could make our main base, which ended up being Shy Guy’s Toy Box. We didn’t want to copy Bowser’s design so we decided to just put a heart on it. We made multiple of them to get around in until Mario attacked our base… He destroyed every last one.
1-up Boo: … I see. Hold on, I need a snack.
(1-up Boo grabs a fishing rod and uses it to fetch out food. After 2 ½ seconds later he reels in a Shroom Steak.)
1-up Boo: Yum.
Shy Guy: I’ll just be going now…
1-up Boo: You stay in that one spot! You’re tied up anyways, so you’re stuck in here.
Shy Guy: Darn.
1-up Boo: How did General Guy become the general?
Shy Guy: He was the one who led us out of Bower’s castle. That and he came up with many brilliant plans, so we made him general. We gave him a general outfit and a hat. He made his own tank, though.
1-up Boo: Okay then. Are Shy Guys related to Bandits in any way?
Shy Guy: I don’t think so. They steal coins, not items like we do.
1-up Boo: There’s the item Bandits with the green outfit…
Shy Guy: Yes, but that’s only seen in Glitzville and the Pit of 100 Trials. Shy Guys are seen in all different colors and have the same traits.
1-up Boo: So… are they related to you or not?!
Shy guy: I don’t think anyone knows.
1-up Boo: Typical. Well I’m out of questions… Audience question time!
Audience: …
1-up Boo: … Whoever asks a question gets 5,000 coins!
Goomba: 5,000 coins?! Erm… How do you feel about Mario?
Shy Guy: WE HATE HIM! He destroyed all of our copters and beat up many of us harmless Shy Guys.
1-up Boo: You were keeping a Star Spirit captive and you stole tons of items from Toad Town.
Shy Guy: Well we were running out of stuff to do so we went shopping for some new toys! The Star Spirit is shiny!
1-up Boo: Seat 45!
Koopa: Do Shy Guys eat?
Shy Guy: Well no. We don’t really have mouths to chew food, and drinks would get our outfit wet, so we don’t eat or drink. I don’t even know how I’m talking.
1-up Boo: Well I’m bored, so I’ll end the Interview. Thank you for volunteering, Mister Shy Guy.
Shy guy: But you forced me to stay.
1-up Boo: Exactly.
Shy Guy: …
Goomba: Where’s my 5,000 coins?!
Koopa: And my 5,000 coins?!
1-up Boo: It’s in a place that is not in a place but secretly in a place with no place of places.
Goomba and Koopa: O_O
Shy Guy: Can I leave now?
1-up Boo: NEVER!
Shy Guy: GAH!
(The Shy Guy starts twitching.)
1-up Boo: Look on the bright side, at least you have me to torture you!
Shy Guy: NOOOO!!!
1-up Boo: I always wanted a servant.
Shy Guy: Grrr…
1-up Boo: Well this can only mean one thing.
(1-up Boo pulls out a sword and approaches the camera slowly.)
(END TRANSMISSION)
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