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SHRUGGER AND PHANTOS67 interview GENERAL GUY
 
By Shrugger Shroob and Phantos67
(Shrugger, his crew, Indiana Jones, Lemmy, and a bunch of official characters are in deep space, after Big Bob-omb dropped a malfunctioning Subspace Bomb in Yoshi's belly.)

Shrugger: YEP. AND IT'S BEEN PRETTY LAME, TOO.Y-Naut: Say, wait a minute! Didn't we fire you last episode?(No. You just said unintelligible gibberish about me.)Y-Naut: Oh yeah. Well, since it's gonna be a long time 'til we're back on Plit, we might as well interview some people. The next person to raise their hand gets interviewed by Steven, unless a fanged Phanto appears out of nowhere, in which case the boss will interview with him.

Shrugger: AND WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT?

(There is a burst of light.)

Phantos67: Hi everyone! How's it going?

Shrugger: ...

(General Guy raises his hand.)

Phantos67: I think the chances are pretty high, by the way, because I'm here.

Shrugger: WHATEVER. MUSICAL GUY, START THE SHOW.

Last time on...

Lemmy: LEMMY'S-

Shrugger: THWOMP 64?

THWOMP!

(...The Shrugger's Interview Show, Big Bob-omb sent us all to the other side of the universe!)

Shrugger: YEP. QUESTION 1. HOW DID YOU BECOME THE GENERAL OF THE SHY GUYS?

General Guy: Simple enough. When my predececor got a game over, all of the Shy Guys took an IQ test. I got the highest score, 175. The lowest one was... ah, 138, and that was Anti Guy.

Phantos67: Why did you choose Shy Guy's Toybox as your base?

General Guy: Because it wouldn't easily be found, so we had our base in a Toad house’s toybox. Whoever entered the toybox would be shrunk to the size of a toy. Then our army could finish them off if they were unwelcome.

Phantos67: ... Ok. That was kind of long, G Guy.

General Guy: You asked and I answered.

Phantos67: ...

Shrugger: Q3, IT SEEMS AS IF YOU AND BOWSER HAVE OPPOSITE POLICIES. HE'S ALL ABOUT STRENGTH, AND YOU'RE ALL ABOUT SMARTS. SO WHY DID YOU LISTEN TO HIM?

General Guy: Would you defy someone with a hot temper and who just so happens to have the Star Rod?

Shrugger: OH. GOOD POINT.

Phantos67: Never anger a person with rod that looks kind of like a birthday candle.

Mrs. I: Hey, wait a second! Aren't you the guy who drew me and that other Mr-

Phantos67: Um... Yes, Mr. I bribed me to make that picture for him.

Flashback…

Mr. I: Phantos67, I want you to make a picture of me and Mrs. I falling in love.

Phantos67: Well... I'm kind of busy this week.

Mr. I: I'll pay you two million coins.

Phantos67: Woah! Look at that, my schedule just opened up. I'll get busy.

End Flashback…

Phantos67: Heh heh.

Shrugger: ASK A QUESTION!

Phantos67: Ok, why did you have a pink baby carriage as an army tank? Isn't that kind of dumb?

General Guy: I used what we had, and the toy tank turned out quite good, actually. Except I got made fun of a lot.

Phantos67: I bet.

Shrugger: WHO WOULD YOU ALLY WITH FIRST, THE X-NAUTS, THE SHROOBS, THE GOOMBAS, THE YOSHIS, THE KOOPAS, OR THE TOADS?

General Guy: It depends. Probably the Goombas, as we are both basic minions, they are VERY strategic, and you can't go wrong with telepathy.

Goomboss and Afro: YEP.

(Afro uses his telepathy to re-inflate Lemmy, and Goomboss uses his telepathy to have Thwomp 64 repeatedly thwomp Lemmy.)

Phantos67: Ok, how did you like being a sticker in Super Smash Bros. Brawl?

General Guy: Well the toy tank came to a sudden halt and I was pushed forward, but they snapped the shot before I fell out. So I guess it was ok.

Phantos67: Oh, I never knew that. Lemmy, how do you like being thwomped?

Lemmy: I- THWOMP -am- THWOMP -going- THWOMP -to ban- THWOMP -you all- THWOMP -from- THWOMP -Lemmy's Land! THWOMP!

Phantos67: I don't think I have ever seen that before.

Indiana Jones: Musical Guy, can you hum my themesong now?

(No!)

Indiana Jones: *sniff* You don't have to be such a meanie...

Shrugger: ARE YOU THE SUPREME FIGURE OF THE SHY GUYS, OR IS THERE A "King Guy" OR "President Guy"?

General Guy: There IS a President Guy, but he's so shy that he never appears in public.

Mrs. I: Hey, Phantos67! Look at this!

(Phantos67 floats over to Mrs. I. Mrs. I is holding a college yearbook, open to a page that has her class. In the picture is about 4 dozen Mr. Is.)

Mrs. I: There's more than two! Ha!

Phantos67: Hmmm. Which one is him? Let's find out sophisticated-like. Eeny-meeny-miny-mo, catch a tiny spiny by the toe…

Mrs. I: I think it's this I.

Phantos67: YOU HAVEN'T EVER MET HIM!

Shrugger: ASK A QUESTION, SOMEBODY!

Phantos67: Haven't we asked enough?

Shrugger: WELL-

Steven Stone: Hold it! I haven't been able to ask a question, and I was supposed to be the interviewer! So, General Guy, why did you steal all of the stuff from Toad Town?

General Guy: That was the troops' day off. And us Shy Guys love causing mayhem. Although I do wish that pink Shy Guy wouldn’t have given us away...

Shrugger: IT'S ABOUT TIME FOR PHONE QUESTIONS, ISN'T IT?

RING RING!

Shrugger: I GUESS IT IS.

Waluigi's Twin: What do you think of Waluigi?

General Guy: Um... If I knew who Waluigi was I might be able to answer that.

Phantos67: He's basically a stupider, skinnier, taller, purple Luigi who is even more of a coward than Luigi.

WT: That's not true!

General Guy: Sounds a lot like me except for the Luigi part.

Phantos67: That's not a real question.

(Phantos67 tries to hang up the phone, but remembers he has no arms. Shrugger hangs up the phone.)

RING RING!

Roy: General Guy, since Larry's a loser, could you give me your prediction on who will win this week in the Sports Hall?

General Guy: Hmm. That's a toughie. Kamella and Donkey Kong are both super-tough, but don't have brains. Koopatrol is a basic minion, so even though he has a (albeit small) brain, he'll probably be knocked out in a few seconds. Between Kamella and DK, I'm going to have to say Kamella. DK is easily wavered, a bad trait to have against a witch. Also, since Kamella has won two weeks in a row so far, winning would put the season on its final streak. But it won't really matter anyway. Anti Guy will beat whoever becomes the other Supreme Champion.

Iggy: HEY! I'm in Round Three!

(Shrugger hangs up.)

Phantos67: Ok, I am picking up next. Er, I mean, putting it on speaker phone.

Mrs. I: Look at that!

Shrugger: WHAT?Mrs. I: It's some sort of Chomp.

Phantos67: It looks angry.

(The Chomp strikes, but gets nobody.)

Phantos67: WE ARE UNDER ATTACK BY A SPACE CHOMP!

RING RING!

(The Chomp eats the phone.)

Phantos67: Oh no! I hope that wasn't anybody important.

(The Chomp lunges for the camera, but Mrs. I pulls it away.)

Phantos67: What do we do?

(The Chain Chomp starts to glow, then stops.)

The phone inside the Chomp: The good news is...

(The Chain Chomp disappears.)

The phone: The bad news is...

FDSGAGVBSBGFBSG!!!

(Oh no! A Squarp has randomly appeared! And Phantos67 is being drawn towards it!)

Phantos67: Heeeelllllppppppp mmmmmmmmeeeeeeee...

(Phantos67 is sucked in and the Squarp disappears.)

Shrugger: ... WELL, ONE INTERVIEW DOWN, A BUNCH MORE TO GO.

(Yep.)

Y-Naut: Musical Guy, you're fired.

Musical Guy: Thought so.

Steven: I get to do the next Interview.

Musical Guy: Yeah.

Fawful's Ghost: And the transmission ends.

Musical Guy: Finally.

TRANSMISSION ENDED

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