Koop: I'm here.
Lemmy: Where were you?!
Koop: What do you mean?
Lemmy: You haven't been at work in months! And I had to pay for the new Interview building by myself!
Koop: Oh, I was- uh, uh *starts panicking* hibernating!
Lemmy: But Koopas don't hibernate and it's not winter.
Koop: Well, uh, some Koopas hibernate, and they changed when hibernation is.
Lemmy: Oh, well today you are interviewing Goomba.
Koop: But I don't want to interview Goomba, I want to interview Dimentio!
Lemmy: You can't interview him, he's too good for you.
Koop: Come on! I want to interview Dimentio!
Lemmy: No.
Koop: Please.
Lemmy: No.
Koop: Please!
Lemmy: No!
Koop: I'll give you a cookie.
Lemmy: Okay! Wait, what kind is it?
Koop: Uh, any kind you want it to be!
Lemmy: Deal!
Dimentio: I heard that I, the Great Dimentio, am going to be interviewed like a bowl of breakfast cereal being consumed by a king.
Lemmy: How did you hear us, and why did that metaphor make no sense at all?
Dimentio: I have been here all day, watching your every move, hearing everything you say, and eating all of your doughnuts! And-
Lemmy: So you’re the one who ate all of my doughnuts!
Dimentio: Yes, and as I was saying, that metaphor made no sense at all because… Well I don't really know, and I don't care.
Lemmy: Okay, now we will start the Interview.
Goomba: I'm ready to be interviewed.
Lemmy: You aren’t being interviewed anymore.
Goomba: (crying) Nobody wants to interview me!
(The Goomba runs away.)
Koop: Okay, Dimentio, if you are so powerful then how did you lose to Mario?
Dimentio: Well, uh, Mario had an ancient artifact that made him invincible and doubled his power by 7,000 percent.
Koop: Uh, that's not true.
Dimentio: 20,000 coins says it is.
Koop: Okay, it's true.
Lemmy: We don't accept bribes!
Koop: What about that cookie I offered you?
Lemmy: That's different!
Dimentio: 20,000 more coins says you accept bribes.
Lemmy: Deal!
Koop: Why are you always smiling?
Dimentio: I am not always smiling, and even if I am smiling on the outside I may be frowning on the inside. I am a very complicated person.
Koop: Yes, I see... How did you come back to life after you basically blew yourself and Luigi up after you fought with him?
Dimentio: Well, as you know I am very talented in the art of magic, and I have been studying it for years; and in my years of studying it I have learned how to revive people shortly after they die, so I just cast it on myself before I blew us up so I was revived shortly after that.
Koop: Why aren’t you speaking in metaphors anymore?
Dimentio: Because I don't feel like it, yo.
Koop: Time for audience questions, seat 25.
Kamek: If you are able to revive people after they die then why didnt you just revive yourself after you were defeated as Super Dimentio?
Dimentio: Well, the revive spell is very powerful so it takes a lot of my energy and takes a long time to recharge. Even if it was fully recharged it probably wouldn’t even have worked because the Pure Hearts were very strong at that moment.
Koop: Seat 58
Exor: How did you get your powers?
Dimentio: Have you been listening to any of this Interview at all?! I have been studying magic for years.
Exor: Yes, but who told you about magic?
Dimentio: I was told about magic by a very wise wizard named lingayong.
Koop: Seat 80.
Torpedo Ted: How old are you?
(Dimentio fires a bolt of magic and destroys Torpedo Ted.)
Koop: What did you do that for?!
Dimentio: He doesn’t need to know how old I am.
Koop: Okay, last question, seat 2
Shrrob: Is that your face or are you wearing a mask?
Dimentio: Are you saying I'm ugly?!
Shroob: No! It's just that you look like a-
(Dimentio traps the Shroob in a box and blows him up.)
Koop: Why do you keep blowing up the audience?
Dimentio: Because I do not like their questions and it relieves stress.
(Dimentio traps all of the audience in a box and blows them up.)
Dimentio: Ah, I feel much better. Ciao!
Koop: Well, I guess this Interview is over, END-
Lemmy: Hey! I never got my cookie! You’re fired! Again!
Koop: Aw, well END TRANSMISSION!
Lemmy: You can't say that anymore, you’re fired! END TRANSMISSION!
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