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CUBONE interviews IGGY
 
By Cubone

Larry: WELCOME ONE, WELCOME ALL, TO-

Audience: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Larry: Tonight, Cubone will be interviewing my brother, Iggy!

Audience: Iggy Koopa! Iggy Koopa! Yeah!

Larry: And we start in five, four, three-

Audience Member #366: Hey! Where's Lemmy?!

Larry: Umm... See... Lemmy nearly killed Dad last night with his cooking, so he's taking lessons. NOW! Five, four, three-

Cameraman: Sir!

Larry: What now?

Cameraman: The person who is doing the Interview is not present!

Larry: Whaaaaaaat?! How? Where could Cubone be?

(At this exact moment, Cubone runs through the double doors to the studio wearing a chef hat.)

Cubone: *huff, huff…* Whew... I didn't think Lemmy would fall for that "Look! The circus!" thing.

Larry: Great! You're here!

Cubone: Yeah... So, who's spillin' his guts tonight?

Larry: Iggy Koopa.

Cubone: Great, now let’s get this party started.

(Cubone and Iggy walk onstage, while Larry successfully does the countdown.)

Cubone: Wassup, people of Plit! I'm Cubone, and this is Iggy, and you are watching Q&A with Cubone!

Iggy: Greetings, Plit specimens!

Cubone: So you're a smart guy, eh?

Iggy: The smartest of Lord Bowser's children, and lead inventor of Dark Land.

Cubone: Well, I happen to be a professional engineer, and built the jet that crashed into the studio.

Iggy: I've built a gun called the ray gun that fires thick beams of energy.

Cubone: I've programmed a robot that has a built-in machine gun, a jetpack, and a rocket launcher!

Iggy: I'VE made my siblings’ airships!

Larry: Get on with the Interview!

Cubone: *growls* Fine. Why do you wear glasses?

Iggy: Lemmy messed with my ray gun and shot me and my brother Roy in the eyes. I had to get glasses, but I was the lucky one of the two. Roy’s eyes were burned and since then he sees everything more brightly than he should. He wears sunglasses because of this.

Cubone: I didn't know it was possible to see things brighter than they are.

Iggy: Neither did I until then.

Cubone: EYE SEE. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Audience: Boooooooooooooooooooo!

Cubone: Come on! That was funny!

Iggy: Oh brother.

Cubone: I'd like to see you do standup comedy!

Iggy: At least I wouldn't get booed!

Cubone: Try saying that without a tongue!

Larry: Shut up and interview!

Cubone: Fine. Why do some people say you and Lemmy are twins?

Iggy: When we were six, me and Lemmy would share sentences and were always together.

Cubone: What about when you were making your death trap inventions?

Iggy: MINE are stable enough not to crash through buildings! ... He was my lab partner.

Cubone: Meaning?

Iggy: ... He'd stand in a corner and not touch anything.

Cubone: Last question by me. I played a Mario game when I was younger, Super Mario Bros. 3, and in that game, you were short, had a blue shell, and looked like your mo-hawk was orange, instead of you being tall, green-shelled, and having a pink, blue, and yellow mo-hawk.

Iggy: Did ANYONE look like they truly do in that game? It was an NES game! The artwork is what we really look like!

Cubone: You mean you know you're in video games?

Iggy: Yes. See, Nintendo made games by estimating what would happen. Ironically, some of those events actually did happen.

Cubone: Wow. Seat time! Seat... 22!

Shrugger Shroob: Why do you have a rainbow mo-hawk? You're an inventor!

Iggy: I originally had hair similar to Ludwig's, but Lemmy said we couldn't be twins if we didn't have the same hair style. So he dyed my hair in my sleep!

Cubone: Ok... Seat 224.

Some random Koopa Troopa: Do you like waffles?

Cubone: Security!

(Three Ninjis jumped out and tackled the Koopa Troopa and throw it out the studio's windows.)

Larry: What happened to the Chargin' Chuck and Anti Guys?

Cubone: I fired them for being unable to defeat me in a fighting match, but what's more, that window the Ninjis threw that ugly turtle through was closed!

Ninji 1: Ouch.

Cubone: Last seat, seat 1.

Lemmy Clone: How do you feel about Ludwig taking the credit for your inventions?

Iggy: I feel used and mistreated. Ludwig willingly took credit for what I did for years!

Cubone: Too bad you're too sappy to do anything about that.

Iggy: Oh yeah? Well I have a question for you, Cubone! Why are you wearing a chef's hat?! And why did you come running in the studio at full speed?

Cubone: ... You! End transmission or I'll have your job!

Cameraman: Eeep! END TRANSMISSION!!!

Transmission Ended.

(For the reason WHY Cubone came in out of breath and was wearing a chef hat, see "Cooking Lessons" in Lemmy’s Scribbles.)

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