D.DKoopa (DD): Hello, and welcome to Fireball's Interview Show!
Wario: Who are you?
DD: Your rival from Wario and the Seven Coins.
Wario: ...
DD: That quest you took to find a bunch of golden coins, which are used to open the most awesome treasure in the world!
Wario: ...
DD: D.DKOOPA!
Amadeus: ... If it helps, I haven't heard of this guy either.
Mario: Hey, where's WT?
Amadeus: Well, the locksmith that's supposed to free him from the cage is still working on the problem. Skeleton keys, flamethrowers, mallets the size of your head... nothing's working. And, after being squished in the last episode, Endark's now in the hospital. So, with nobody else to call upon, I'm going to be co-interviewing today.
Kammy: In that case, who's filming?
Amadeus: That anonymous guy that filmed the show before WT first started co-hosting, I guess. Anyways, why are you asking me all these questions? Shouldn't you be wondering why the host of the show isn't here? Or why he picked this guy to co-interview instead of one of you?
DD: Well, Fireball is in the hospital due to losing his voice, so I'm going to interview just for today.
Goomba #24: Who are you interviewing today, loser?
DD: E. Gadd!
(Prof. E. Gadd comes into the room. Someone throws a pie at him.)
Wario: Sorry! Guess I have better aim than I thought! And don't ask me where I got the pie... namely Amadeus.
Amadeus: ... Fine, I won't ask. I've actually gotten used to the weirdness here, actually. So, E. Gadd, I'll ask the first question of the day. Was “Gaddgets” seriously the best name you could think of to refer to your inventions?! All you did was take the word “gadgets” and egotistically change it so your own name was included. A Kindergartner could've thought that up!
E. Gadd: ... No comment.
Amadeus: I'll take that as a yes. Your turn, DD.
D.DKoopa: You mean the great D.DKoopa!
Wario: That's MY line, buddy!
D.DKoopa: Yes... Next question then, why did you give Bowser Jr. that paintbrush in Super Mario Sunshine?
E. Gadd: Who says I made the paintbrush?!
D.DKoopa: Everyone knows! Remember this line?
Flashback...
Bowser Jr: A man in a white coat gave it to me!
End of Flashback...
E. Gadd: Well, I thought he was going to be helping people with it, certainly not destroying people's property, causing trouble, and blaming Mario for things he hadn't done, and all the other random stuff that makes no sense at all!
Amadeus: ... I don't know what was more odd; the fact that Gadd believed in Bowser's son, or that everybody on the planet just had a simultaneous flashback about something only a few people have actually seen. But, I'm not going to let that stop the show! Professor, how on Plit do you explain Stuffwell from Partners in Time? A suitcase that can carry the belongings of four people without weighing them down is certainly a nice invention, and his hacking of a spaceship's control systems helped to save the world, but didn't you start going overboard when you added in stuff like speaking functions?
E. Gadd: Well, when you're an old man who works near locations like haunted mansions and volcanoes, you start to miss having conversations with others.
DD: That's all you do, Amadeus... Yakkity yak yak yak.
Mario: True.
Amadeus: HEY! I find that offensive!
Mario: Oh, yeah? Well, I find your FACE offensive!
Amadeus: I'm a Spear Guy. I'm wearing a mask!
Mario: ... So, you don't like your face either?
(Amadeus pulls a remote control out of a pocket in his outfit, and presses a button on it. A heap of trash falls on top of Mario.)
Amadeus: Consider yourself added to the heap, hectopascal!
DD: ... What a math geek. So, Professor, why did you leave FLUDD on the island?
E. Gadd: Well, I didn't mean to. The Bowser kid took it, too. He thought it would do... something destructive, probably.
Everyone has a simultaneous flashback...
Bowser Jr: Can I take this thing, too?
E. Gadd: I guess.
End of simultaneous flashback...
Amadeus: ... Woah; it happened again!
E. Gadd: There was no water in FLUDD at the time, and I did not tell him about its capabilities. He must've left it by the airport in Delfino after thinking it was just useless junk.
Amadeus: I see. So, Professor, why did you create Starbeans Cafe? And why in the Beanbean Kingdom?
E. Gadd: Well, I needed some cash in order to finish that time machine project, and I hear that similar businesses gain quite a profit on Earth. And I chose to build it in that kingdom because their currency is worth much more than the Mushroomian coin.
DD: Oh, look at me, I'm E.Gadd! I'm rich for no good reason!
E. Gadd: ... Well, I do say that a lot.
Amadeus: Not as much as “Zoom zoom, yobba yobba”. Talk about lame catchphrases...
DD: Next question, loser! Why do you work near a haunted mansion? After all, you could've picked someplace much safer to study ghosts.
E .Gadd: Well, when your work involves studying creatures from beyond the grave and have the need to kill you, safety isn't much of an issue.
(Mario throws a pie at E. Gadd.)
Amadeus: You sure escaped from that heap quickly, Mr. Hero. So, Gadd, since you don't seem to be afraid of specters, aliens, lava, or looking like a geek, is there anything you ARE scared of?
E. Gadd: Well, I don't really like lightning storms. All it would take is one good zap to short out most of my inventions.
Yoshi: That happen all time. Remember in Luigi's Mansion there lightning with Boos. And at other times-
E. Gadd: EGAD! WOULD YOU SHUT UP!
Amadeus: ... Wait; are you talking to yourself, or using an expression?
Yoshi: Yoshi angry!
Amadeus: Well, I guess that answers that...
DD: We shall get him later... but now, next question: Why do you put your logo on your inventions?
E. Gadd: So people know I was the one who made it... duh.
DD: But it in one Interview-
(Mario throws a dumbbell at E. Gadd.)
Amadeus: What did you do that for?!
Mario: Because I couldn't believe it wasn't butter!
Amadeus: ... Whatever. So, Professor...
E. Gadd: ...
Amadeus: ... Professor?
E. Gadd: ...
Amadeus: Are you okay, Doc?
E. Gadd: ...
Amadeus: ... Nice going, Mario! And I mean that sarcastically, since you've knocked out our guest! YOU LITTLE-
(The scene quickly shifts to a video of two baby Koopas playing in the park. When it's over, we see that Mario is being sent to the hospital, E. Gadd has recovered, and Amadeus barely has a scratch on him.)
Amadeus: Sorry about that interruption, but some things just shouldn't be shown on television.
(Before Mario is taken off-camera by the paramedics, he somehow throws a 20-pound dumbbell at Amadeus. He misses.)
DD: OUCH!
Wario: Indeed.
Amadeus: Agreed. Now, let's go to audience questions! Seat 18!
Blastboxer: What's your favorite type of music?
E. Gadd: Well, I've always liked the classics, but some of that newfangled hip-hop stuff is nice to listen to as well.
DD: Seat moron9.
Amadeus: That's a weird name for a seat...
Bowser: Why don't you just burn the dang pictures of the ghosts?!
E. Gadd: Because, as soon as the portrait is destroyed, the being inside the portrait would be freed. Plus, what else would I look at?
Amadeus: Seat 51.
Barribad: What do you think is the meaning of life?
E. Gadd: Well, when it comes to life, there's one quote about it that I'll never forget. "Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air. They are where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."
Amadeus: And that means... what, exactly?
E. Gadd: It means that you've got to have high expectations, work towards them, and then enjoy the rewards of your efforts.
Amadeus: That's quite insightful. Who first uttered that quote?
E. Gadd: Thoreau.
Amadeus: The Pixl?!
E. Gadd: No, just some guy from Earth.
Everyone but E. Gadd: Earth?
E. Gadd: Well-
Wario: SHUT UP!
DD: Seat 29990028374288800282223...3.
Amadeus: How big IS this place?!
Hammer Bro: What was the point of making the time machine in Partners in Time?
E. Gadd: Well... you see... Nothing really. Maybe to see the past or future.
DD: You’re more lame than I am in the Gold Coins.
Amadeus: At least his name is easier to spell. I keep forgetting whether your name is D. DKoopa, or D. D. Koopa. Anyways, for the next question, I pick... seat 66, just for kicks.
Tileoid R: How did King Boo get out of the portrait again in order to be a boss in Sunshine, or race karts in Double Dash, or any of that stuff?
E. Gadd: Well, after Luigi and Mario left the mansion, I realized something. If I just kept that King Boo picture, he would certainly escape like he did before, and cause the entire incident to repeat itself. So, I threw it into the ocean, where it eventually drifted to Delfino Isle. The rest, as they say, is history.
DD: Too bad Mario is not here to ask the final question.
(Mario kicks open the doors to the Interview show and walks in.)
Waluigi: I thought you were injured!
Mario: Not enough to miss the end of the show!
DD: Seat Mario 99.
Mario: Do you really think you could... How was it with Luigi?
E. Gadd: He was ok. I could hear him saying "MARIO!" a lot.
Luigi: ...
DD: That's it for today!
Mario: Dang!
DD: I know, Mario.
Amadeus: Don't worry, folks; WT should be freed and ready to co-interview again by the time the next show is aired!
DD: End transmission.
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