Lemmy: Okay. It took a while, but the studio has been repaired. We’re back in business!
Blaze: That’s good. You’ve been really cranky about it, and that was, like, ten weeks ago.
Lemmy: … Whatever…
(Hooktail bursts through the wall.)
Lemmy: HOOKTAIL, YOU IDIOT!!! I JUST HAD THAT WALL FIXED!!!
Hooktail: … Did you just call me an idiot?!
Lemmy: Yeah! So what?! Whatcha gonna do about it?! Huh?! HUH?!
(Hooktail opens her mouth.)
Lemmy: … What are you doing?
(Hooktail grabs Lemmy with his tongue.)
Lemmy: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! HELP!!!
Blaze: Be specific! What do you want me to do, cut her tongue off?
(Hooktail pulls Lemmy into her mouth.)
Lemmy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH... Hey, it smells like old cheese in here!
Hooktail: I ate Mario.
Mario (from inside Hooktail’s stomach): CHEESE!!!
Lemmy: Please don’t chew!
(Kooper runs in.)
Kooper: Come on, guys! You air in ten seconds!
(Hooktail spits Lemmy out.)
Lemmy: Saved by the yell!
Blaze and Hooktail: LAME!!!
Lemmy: … Right… Anyway, I have a meeting to go to, so I’ll let you guys handle everything. Don’t wreck the studio while I’m gone!
Hooktail: Yeah, yeah, whatever…
Later...
Blaze: Yo, audience!
Audience: Yo!
Marilyn: DON’T YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS—
Blaze: AAAAAAAHH!!! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I HATE THAT SONG!!!
Hooktail: Today, we’re interviewing my big brother… Well, one of ‘em, anyway… Give it up for Gloomtail!
(Gloomtail walks onto the stage. The audience bows.)
Gloomtail: That’s right! Bow before me, mortals!
Hooktail: Hey, Bro.
Gloomtail: Hey, Sis.
Blaze: Gloomtail! Welcome to Lemmy Interview Show! How are you?
Gloomtail: I feel GREAT! I’m finally out of that stuffy chamber in the Palace of Shadow!
Blaze: Cool! Question one… how exactly did you get out of the Palace of Shadow?
Gloomtail: I busted through the roof and came up in a street in Rogueport.
Goombella: It was really freaky, too! I was just taking a walk, minding my own business. Next thing I know, I’m high up in the air sitting on something round and black. That was not fun.
Gloomtail: Hey! It was no picnic for me either… not while you were screaming for ten minutes!
Hooktail: MOVING on! So, Bro, if you—
Rawk Hawk: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWK!!!
Hooktail: … If you—
Rawk Hawk: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWK!!!
Hooktail: IF YOU WERE—
Rawk Hawk: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—
Audience: SHUT UP!!!
Rawk Hawk: Sorry…
Hooktail: … As I was saying, if you were to appear in another game, what would it be?
Gloomtail: Well, it would be nice to be a boss in the Subspace Emissary in Brawl… That reminds me, Sis. You’re lucky, because you’re a sticker in that game!
Hooktail: Hey. I’m not so happy with it. What’s the use of being a sticker if my brothers can’t?!
Audience: Awwwwwwwwwwww…
Blaze: Happy moment… gag… Next question— (A stagelight falls on Blaze.) Blaze: OW! WHAT THE… Shy Guy: Sorry… Blaze: *sigh* Next question— (A speaker box falls on Blaze.) Blaze: OW! WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?! Shy Guy: Sorry… again… Blaze: Rrrr… Next question— (The speaker box starts playing music.) Speaker Box: Don’t you wish your girlfriend was… hot… like… me! Blaze: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! (Blaze smashes the speaker box.) Blaze: GEEZ I hate that song! NEXT QUESTION! While you were in that chamber in the Palace of Shadow, what did you do everyday? Gloomtail: Eat and sleep… that’s pretty much it… *sniff… sniff…* Uh… What smells like old cheese? Hooktail: That’s me. I ate Mario. Mario (from inside Hooktail’s stomach): Yum! This cheese pizza is good! Blaze: Ick! Sounds like cheese pizza topped with stomach acid! Hooktail: … I have pizza in my stomach? Mario: Yeah, and it’s yummy! Audience: EWW!!! Blaze: Let me look in there! I’m just curious… (Hooktail bends down and opens her mouth. Blaze goes in.) Blaze (from inside Hooktail): MAN this is gross. There you are, Mario! How’d you get that pizza? Mario (from inside Hooktail): I found it! Blaze: … You found it…? Mario: Yeah! Want a bite? Blaze: I’m leaving! Mario: Your loss! Blaze: I think not! (Blaze comes back out.) Blaze: I’m just gonna pretend I didn’t see that… Hooktail: Next question… oh wait, there are no more… Time for audience questions! Mario: Yum! Onions! Blaze, Hooktail, and Gloomtail: ONIONS?! (Lemmy comes in with a burger.) Lemmy: Of course I don’t put onions on my burger! Hooktail: Where were you? Blaze: Yeah, and what was that about a burger? Lemmy: I was at my meeting! I told you that, and I was talking about my burger. I don’t put onions on it! Hooktail: We were talking about Mario. Lemmy: Is he still alive?! I can’t believe he hasn’t been eaten up by stomach acids! Blaze: Hey! Let’s stop talking about Mario before I barf! Lemmy: What’s he doing in there? Not that I care… Blaze: You don’t wanna know. Seat 67! Bonetail: Aaaarrrrrooooooooooooooooo? Gloomtail: No I didn’t steal your lunch this morning! … Wait! What am I saying?! You don’t need to eat lunch… or any meals! You don’t have a stomach! Bonetail: … Aaaroooooo… Gloomtail: What do you mean you didn’t know?! You’re a skeleton, for cryin’ out loud! Hooktail: Seat 129! Boshi: How can you understand Bonetail? Gloomtail: He speaks dragon language. Blaze: Seat 48! Bow: How exactly did you get your name? Gloomtail: Shadow Queen only called me that because she thought it sounded evil enough for a dragon. I’m not really “gloomy” at all. Hooktail: Seat 130! Koops: Do you have a secret fear, like Hooktail? Gloomtail: FEAR?! I FEAR NOTHING, YOU FOOLISH MORTAL!!! Koops: Sorry! Just asking! Blaze: Well, that’s all the time we have for today! (Another speaker box falls on Blaze.) Blaze: OW! That’s starting to get old… (The speaker box plays music.) Speaker Box: Don’t you wish your girlfriend was… hot… like… me! (Wario jumps up on the stage and does the “shake your bootie” dance.) Hooktail: Okay… now that’s just plain wrong… Blaze: Hooktail, you know what to do… Better yet… Gloomtail, do that… thing… you do… Gloomtail: … What? Blaze: You know… that… amazing wave of fire you do… Gloomtail: Oh yeah… Okay! Wario: Whoo! Shake it, baby! Huh?! What’re you doing?! Gloomtail: MEGABREATH!!! (Gloomtail blows his Megabreath on Wario.) Wario: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! I’M ON FIRE!!! (The audience cheers.) Gloomtail: Thank you! Thank you very much! Blaze: Ah yes, that’s a glorious attack. Let’s all give ‘im a bow! (Everyone bows to Gloomtail.) Gloomtail: Yes! Bow before me! Wario: I’M STILL ON FIRE!!! Gloomtail: Guess what? I don’t care! Lemmy: END TRANMISSION! Wario: AAAAAAAAAAAA— (Transmission ended.) Whoops! You're not logged in!
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