James: Hi everybody-
Lemmy: Ahem!
James: Oh, right.
(James gives Lemmy a pat on the back.)
Lemmy: I meant say my four favorite words.
James: *sigh* Hello, and welcome to-
Lemmy: Lemmy Interview Show!
James: Where you can actually play my newest game on the show!
Lemmy: Huh?
James: You’ll see at the end of show. Anyway, today’s interviewee is Larry Koopa!
Larry Koopa: Hi!
James: All right, now before we get started, I’ll need Larry to sign a little contract here.
Larry: Umm... Sure!
(Larry signs the contract.)
James: Okay! Let’s get started! Question one, is it true you like plants?
Larry: Nope, not a chance!
James: Really?
(James holds out a flower and sets fire to it.)
Larry: NOOOO!!!
James: Since you actually like plants, now answer this question: why do you like them?
Larry: I guess when I was born, my first toy was a walking Piranha Plant, which started to chase my older siblings. I thought that was the funniest thing I had ever seen.
James: I give you ten points for that.
Larry: Huh?
James: You’ll see at the end of the show. Now question three, do you have any relation to Petey Piranha?
Larry: Yes, I do. When each of my siblings had their sixth birthday, I would give them a Piranha Plant that was fully trained. When Jr. got his plant from me, he said that he was going to do something to it for me to see. At first I thought he would blow it up, but he turned it into Petey Piranha.
James: 17 points for good explanation. Now it’s time for audience questions. Seat cheese!!!
Mario: Do you like cheese?!
Larry: A little.
James: Lemmy, are you sure I can’t have security right now?
Larry: Nope!
James: Are you Lemmy, Larry?
Larry: Nope!
Lemmy: Fine, but you have to find someone stupid enough to work for you.
James: Wait here
(Meanwhile in Bowser Castle…)
James: Hey Karma-
Karma: No.
James: I didn’t ask you anything yet.
Karma: Whatever it is, I’m saying no to it.
James: Do you not love me?
Karma: No- Wait, what?
James: Will you work as security for me?
Karma: No, but I know who will.
James: Will you tell that person to come over to James’s Interview Show?
Karma: Sure.
(Back at the show…)
James: I’m back! I am going to call seats again. Seat Stupidmonkey
Diddy Kong: Why do you hate the Mario Bros?
James: No obvious questions!
Diddy Kong: How did you train the Piranha Plants?
Larry: I gave them cheesy nibble-ums for their tricks I taught them, like stay still or play dead or something like that.
James: Ok, everybody, stop asking questions about Larry’s plant life. Seat handsomeman
James with a mustache: Why does Mr. Larry use tennis racket strategy in Mario Superstar Saga?
Larry: I thought I could trick the Mario Bros. by making them think I was playing around, but they were smarter than that.
James: Good question, Mr. Handsome Man. Seat Igetbeatupbyroy.
Iggy: Why did it seem like in Super Mario World, you copied my strategy to beat Mario?
Larry: I thought that your strategy was the best. So I copied it.
Iggy: Wannabe!
James: Shut up before I turn you into genetic energy particles!
Lemmy: What?
James: What?
Mario: BINGO!
(James pulls out a gun and… slaps Mario with it until he leaves the building.)
James: Now I can explain my game to each of you in the audience.
Lemmy: This better be good.
James: Larry, you have 27 points, which means you get to pick your torture tonight!
Larry: But-
James: Here are your choices tonight! A, get dipped in lava; B, get in a fight with ten Hammer Bros, or C, win 20 bucks.
Larry: I pick C!
James: All right! Hold your hands behind your back!
Larry: Umm... Okay.
(James starts to hold Larry down.)
James: See how he can’t escape with me holding him down, folks? Roy will give him 20 bucks.
(Roy comes out with two boxing gloves.)
Larry: HUH?!
James: All right, Roy, now!
(Roy punches Larry 20 times.)
James: All right! Larry just got 20 bucks! Tune in next time-
(A blue Yoshi breaks through a studio wall.)
Blue Yoshi: SPLEEE!
James: Who are you?
Blue Yoshi: I am Blue the Yoshi! My friend Karma told me that you had a problem, yep, yep.
James: Umm... Yeah, are you tough?
Blue: Only when you insult me.
Mario: CHEESE!!!
James: Hey Blue. He hates Yoshis.
Blue: So?
James: He also hates Mike Myers.
Blue: ERRRR, DIE!!!
(Blue beats Mario to a bloody pulp.)
James: Wow.
Last Goomba: Wow.
Lemmy: Wow.
Bagels: Wow
Playful: Wow
Flea on Playful: Wooooooow.
James: No commercial appearances!
Lemmy: You mean no cameos?
Big Bird: Today’s show is brought you by the letter P!
Luigi: Wahh! Don’t say pee!
Homer: D’OH!!!
Fat Albert: Hey hey hey!
James: ARGH!!! END TRANSMISSION!!!
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