Lakitu: Why did you call this meeting again?
Lemmy: I’m here for some good news and some bad news. About SuperstarSaga’s Interviews…
Hammer Brother: Is it really bad?
Lemmy: No. The good news is that we have your boss back.
Lakitu: What’s the bad news?
Lemmy: The bad news is this letter.
SuperstarSaga: Give me that.
(He grabs the letter and reads it.)
SuperstarSaga: This is a complaint letter saying that Hammer Brother being the main interviewer is boring.
Hammer Brother: What?!
Lemmy: Well since this letter came in we found you another host.
Hammer Brother: I’m being replaced?
Lemmy: No, you’re taking turns. While he does the work you can do the lights.
SuperstarSaga: So who is going to do the Interview?
Lemmy: You.
SuperstarSaga: But I thought I wasn’t allowed to do an Interview.
Lemmy: Not an Interview, more like a job search with the audience.
SuperstarSaga: Who am I interviewing today?
Lemmy: I think you will be happy you got this guy. He is one of your favorite characters…
SuperstarSaga: The real Mario?
Lemmy: No, it’s-
Koops: Me!
SuperstarSaga: So who am I interviewing?
Lemmy: Koops.
SuperstarSaga: Can Hammer Brother just interview him instead?
Lemmy: No, Hammer Brother is already doing the lights. Now hurry up, the show is starting.
Lakitu: We are live in 3... 2… 1-
Lemmy: Wait, what happened to the password?
Lakitu: It’s fixed.
SuperstarSaga: Welcome, everybody. We are here in Lemmy’s Interviews. I am your host, SuperstarSaga.
Audience: Yay!
SuperstarSaga: And I’m interviewing Koops.
Audience: Booooooooo!
SuperstarSaga: So Koops, how weak- I mean, strong, are you?
Koops: I can take out 100 Dry Bones with one hit.
SuperstarSaga: Dry Bones only have one HP and come back to life every time.
Roy: Koops, you are even weaker than Iggy.
(Hammer Brother points the lights in Roy’s eyes.)
Roy: Quit it! I can’t see where I’m going!
(Roy trips down the stairs and the audience laughs.)
SuperstarSaga: Why couldn’t you tell apart the real Mario from the fake?
Koops: Well the real one was a different color…
SuperstarSaga: But you realize the real Mario doesn’t talk?
Mario: I can talk, see?
(Mario runs up and down the steps so fast he trips and falls down to the trash can.)
SuperstarSaga: All right Koops, why are you such a weakling?
Koops: I am not a weakling, and to prove it to you, I’m going to beat up Roy.
Roy: Bring it on!
Lemmy: Wait, don’t!
Battle: Roy: 400 HP
Vs.
Koops: 15 JP
Koops: Hey wait a minute, just because you were a boss from a different RPG doesn’t mean-
Roy: Too late. Roy Special!
Does 5,294 damage.
Roy wins.
Koops: That was not fair.
SuperstarSaga: By the way, why do you have one and a half eyes?
Koops: Well a Fuzzy landed on my eye and-
(Suddenly Hammer Bro falls down from where he’d been working with the lights.)
SuperstarSaga: Hammer Bro, are you all right?
Lemmy: Don’t worry, I’ll handle it.
SuperstarSaga: What ARE you good at?
Koops: Beating up everybody.
SuperstarSaga: How can you say that when Roy beat you?
Koops: No he didn’t.
Roy: No, really. How do you do it?
Koops: I use my special move Gross Out.
Roy: Gross Out?
(Koops takes off his bandage and half of the audience screams.)
SuperstarSaga: What did you do to yourself?!
Koops: I don’t remember!
SuperstarSaga: Ok, audience time. Ask a question, seat 375.
Hooktail: Can I eat you?
Koops: Do you always ask that question?
Hooktail: I will give you 1,000 coins if you come here.
Koops: For the last time, no!
SuperstarSaga: Seat 83.
Mario: Can somebody get me out of this trash can?
Koops: You’re not the Mario who helped me in Hooktail’s Castle.
Paper Mario: I am.
SuperstarSaga: Seat Fuse.
Bob-omb: Why are you wearing a shirt?
Koops: I want to be told apart from other Koopas.
SuperstarSaga: Jeez Koops, you have one and a half eyes, you have a bandage on your cheek, and you wear a shirt, what else do you need?
Koops: I don’t know.
SuperstarSaga: Seat 285.
Goomba: Yo Koops, word on the street is that you are the greatest hip-hop dancer in your city.
Koops: Yeah, that’s right.
Goomba: Can you perform for us?
Koops: I’ll do it in our next Interview.
SuperstarSaga: One more question, seat 000000000000000000000000000000027.
Buzzy Beetle: Why are there so many zeroes in my chair name?
SuperstarSaga: Because it is cool. Thanks for joining us on Lemmy’s Interviews.
Buzzy Beetle: I haven’t asked my question yet.
SuperstarSaga: You asked me why there were so many zeroes in your chair’s name.
Buzzy Beetle: 0_0
SuperstarSaga: All right, now here is your contract. Sign it.
Koops: In front of all these people?
Audience: Sign i!
Koops: Ok.
(Koops signs the contract.)
Koops: Well I should read it now.
(Koops reads it.)
Koops: Wow, thanks for letting me use your powers whenever I want.
SuperstarSaga: I didn’t put that there.
Lemmy: I did.
Koops: Well I’m your new host, and I’d better end this before SuperstarSaga kills me. Hey, wait a minute, what is he going to do to me anyway?
Roy: SuperstarSaga paid me 30 coins for this.
Koops: BLAGADIBLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGADIAAAAG! End transmission.
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