Y-Naut: What happened to the boss?
Iggy: Yeah, what did?
Kamek: Through my crystal ball, I can detect that they will be here in approximately 15 presses of the Enter button. So…
(Kamek turns to face the monitor of the computer that I, the great author, am sitting at. He reaches through, and
…does that.)
BOOM!
(The Shroob Saucer from SHRUGGER AND PLAZMAKIDZ interview ROSALINA comes through the doors.
Shrugger: WE’RE BACK.
Lemmy: Mmmm! Mmmmmm! (Help me!)
Iggy: You kidnapped that annoying brother of mine? Nice.
Pit: So we can get this filler over with and start the show, Musical Guy, you’re rehired.
(Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Anyway, last time-)
Lemmy: MMMMMM! (LEMMY’S INTERVIEW SHOW!)
(-the Shrugger’s Interview Show, Pit turned girly-looking.)
Pit: Don’t remind me.
Kamek: Q1 … I can’t think of anything. You, Fawful’s Ghost?
Fawful’s Ghost: I am of the saying no.
Kamek: %$@%$%#.
Iggy: I can!
Shrugger: THEN INTERVIEW YOURSELF.
Iggy: Happies!
(Iggy rushes over to the interviewer’s seat.)
Iggy: Q1, how do you control Giant Land?
(Iggy rushes back.)
Iggy: I don’t. Truth is, the only reason that rumor is so common is because SOMEBODY *looks at Lemmy* likes SMB3 too much. In reality, the lands got completely and utterly taken away from us by the Mario Bros. Not like anyone cares; the SMB3 lands were very minor; the only reason the Mario Bros. even went there was they needed to have the kings’ wands to enter Dark Land. Grass Land even broke apart after SMB3.
(Iggy rushes back to the other chair.)
Iggy: Then how come the levels were so difficult?
(Iggy blablablablareradthestupidscriptblablablabla.)
Iggy: I don’t really know but IT WAS NOT NATURAL. When King Dad showed us the video of his plan, we were all thinking that it was the worst plan ever, considering it looked it so easy and everyone but Koopas was left out. However, it turned out a lot harder when we initiated the plan.
(Get a life if you can’t figure out what Iggy does.)
Iggy: Let’s hear about SMW. How’d you like Yoshi’s Island? Who came up with your battle plan: you or Larry?
(… Please tell me you’ve figured it out.)
Iggy: Ah, the good old days of SMW. Yoshi’s Island was awesome, mainly because of all the stuff. The Yoshis had left, so I had complete and utter reign. As for your other question, it was originally going to be a normal floor, with Ludwig’s Automatic Invincibility Machine activated, making me unbeatable, but then when Luigi stepped on the Yellow Switch, it caused an earthquake which destroyed most of the room. Since Koopas slip a bunch, it was all I could do to stand there while occasionally using Headless Fireball. As for who came up with the plan, it was both of us. Larry stole the AIMs, so he got the Podoboos as assistants.
(… I’m not going to say it.)
Iggy: What’s your opinion on each of your siblings?
(…)
Iggy: In SMW order, here it is. Morton’s too talkative, Lemmy’s a moron, Ludwig is cool and understands me when I talk about inventing, Roy’s a jerk, Wendy’s too whiny, and Larry’s my best bud. As for Bowser Jr, HE DOSEN’T EXIST. Read the timeline in Morton’s Basics, people!
(This time, I’m actually going to say that Iggy goes to the other chair.)
Iggy: According to the cartoons, you and Lemmy are inseparable. It doesn’t seem like it, though…
(Not sayin’ it now though.)
Iggy: The cartoons didn’t happen. You don’t need a magic spell to free a kingdom whose princess has just been freed.
Toad: And that mushroom IS A PART OF MY HEAD. Not a hat.
Luigi: And I’m not easily scared.
Larry: And none of us except Iggy has a wand of his own.
(SUPER GOES-BETWEEN SEATS MAN! CAN GO BETWEEN CHAIRS LIKE EVERYONE CAN!)
Iggy: How’d you learn to spin so good?
(Insert goes between seats joke here.)
Iggy: I spent a lot of time spinning in a computer chair.
(Iggy… *GASP* doesn’t go between seats?)
Iggy: I did six, so the audience needs to do a few.
(Oh.)
Kamek: Seat BESTCHARACTEREVA!
Toad: If you hate Lemmy so much, why is your hair rainbow like his?
Iggy: It’s a prank he pulled on me shortly after SMB3. I could never get it off of me.
Y-Naut: SEAT THEAUTHORISSTEALINGAJOKEFROMSUPERJEFF64!
Shrugger Shroob’s Favorite Lemmy’s Land Tourist (Uh… Read BOWSER JR. interviews LUDWIG by Superjeff64, only replace the clues with he has a typo in his name but he doesn’t care, he’s 4 names above Shrugger’s in the Interview section, and the Randomizer running gag was started by him): What’s your IQ compared to my favorite Koopaling’s?
Iggy: Since your favorite Koopaling is Ludwig, my IQ is 175, 75 points below Ludwig’s.
Shrugger: SEAT THEWORSTCHARACTEREVER!
Yoshi (Yes, I don’t like Yoshi. GET OVER IT): Why’d Iggy choose Giant Land in SMB3?
Iggy: I didn’t really care what I got, as with the rest of the Koopalings.
Shrugger: YOSHI!!! DIE!!!! SMASH HIM, THWOMP 64!
THWOMP!
Pit: Seat NOTAGAIN!
The SAME Hyper Goomba: LIKE, HOW COME YOU DIDN’T PROTECT THE YELLOW SWITCH PALACE, DUDE?!
Iggy: Actually, I did. Remember that Yoshi’s Island 1 was pretty much the hardest level in Yoshi’s Island? Well, that was intended.
Shrugger: HOW WILL WE GET YOU TO STOP ANNOYING US, YOU HYPER GOOMBA?
Hyper Goomba: HIRE ME!!!
Shrugger: DONE. CHOOSE THE NEXT SEAT, ONCE I CATCH YOUR NAME.
Hyper Goomba: IT’S AFRO! AND SEAT THEAUTHORISMAKINGADRAWINGBOARDGAMEBASEDOFFME!
General Guy: How come you made Yoshi’s Island so easy?
Iggy: Since Giant Land ended up easier than Water Land, King Dad punished me by giving me less troops in SMW.
Fawful’s Ghost: THIS QUESTION IS FINAL! SEAT THEAUTHORISMAKINGAPAPERMARIOPARODYSTARRINGME!
Larry: Why does Roy always beat us up?
Iggy: Because the only people who he likes to beat up are us and Lemmy, but Lemmy is protected by his fans.
Shrugger: OK, NOW FOR A NEW THING NOT RELATED TO THE INTERVIWEE- INTERVIEWEE PICKING!
(Everyone in the studio except Iggy, Fawful’s Ghost, Kamek, Pit, Goomboss, Shrugger Shroob’s Favorite Lemmy’s Land Tourist, and the Thwomps are swept into the audience.)
Shrugger: KAMEK, CALL A RANDOM SEAT.
Kamek: Uhh… Seat THEWORSTCHARACTEREVER?
Shrugger: DARN. YOSHI, YOU’RE MY NEXT INTERVIEWEE. Y-NAUT, CALL INTERVIEW INSURANCE AND PLACE AN ORDER FOR FOOD INSURANCE.
Y-Naut: Gotya.
Pit: END-
(The scene changes, and we can now see a Koopatrol in what seems to be a TV studio.)
Koopatrol: This is Dark Land News, bringing you an important announcement. Lemmy Koopa, son of King Bowser and manager of Lemmy’s Land, one of the most important bring-ins to Dark Land’s economy, has been kidnapped. If you have any information about this kidnapping, I urge you to call us at 1-800-KOOP-RULE.
Back at Shwonk Fortress…
Shrugger: … IS ANYONE KOOPA-SUPPORTING?
Kamek: Not as much as Lemmy-hating.
Iggy: Same thing here.
Shrugger: GOOD.
Pit: End-
(YES! I DON’T-)
Shrugger, Pit, Goomboss, Kamek, and Iggy: MUSICAL GUY, YOU’RE FIRED.
Musical Guy: …
Afro: END TRANSMISSION, DUDES!
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