Vengeful Voice: Interview 28… I think…
Lemmy: What do you mean “I think”?!
Vengeful Voice: I’m just randomly guessing. I lost count a long time ago.
Lemmy: Ignoring that. So King Doopliss, it’s been several months now and you have yet to send a submission in this year. How come?
King Doopliss: Well I stood outside a game store all of January and February waiting for Brawl. Then I spent most of March and all of April playing Brawl, and I spent May playing Mario Kart Wii. I would be playing them right now if you hadn’t taken the discs away from me.
Lemmy: Unacceptable! Once someone starts working for me, they work for me for life. Now get back to work or the discs get it.
(Lemmy walks out the door…)
Cloaked Figure: Hey, that wasn’t random.
(…into a giant fish’s mouth. Then the fish flies away.)
Cloaked Figure: That’s better.
King Doopliss: Must… get… discs… back… Will… interview… the… next… person... to… speak…
(Ludwig walks in.)
Ludwig: What a great five months this had been, no King Doopliss or Interviews…
King Doopliss: I’m interviewing Ludwig.
Ludwig: &$#)(*%&)(#$&%@^()$&*%()#$@*&%()&#$@)(...
(This continues for 6 hours.)
Cloaked Figure: Wow… I didn’t even know you could say so many different bad words.
King Doopliss: Are you done yet?
Ludwig: I guess so.
King Doopliss: For those who don’t know, who is your dad?
Ludwig: My dad is King Bowser, which makes me a prince. But yet I still am forced to work for you.
King Doopliss: Less attitude, slave.
Ludwig: I hate you with every fiber of my being.
King Doopliss: Don’t care. So who’s your mom?
Ludwig: Well to be truthful, I don’t know. Our dad never told us.
King Doopliss: Us, who’s us?
Ludwig: Me and my six siblings, of course.
King Doopliss: Could you name all of your siblings in order of birth, for those who don’t know?
Ludwig: Well I was first born, followed by Lemmy…
Lemmy: I’m better then you.
Ludwig: …then Roy…
Roy (from Melee): I wanted to be in Brawl.
King Doopliss: Get out of here!
(A sign saying “The real Roy is busy playing Brawl.” is seen.)
Ludwig: …in the middle is Iggy…
Iggy: Um… Hi.
Ludwig: …then Wendy…
(Another sign saying “Wendy is to busy talking on the phone and IMing people to be here.” is seen.)
Ludwig: …then Morton.
(Yet another sign saying “Morton is not allowed to be within 300 yard of King Doopliss.” is seen.)
Ludwig: …then last but not least is Larry.
(Yes, another sign saying “Larry is also busy playing Brawl.” is seen.)
Ludwig: … Where did you get all the talking signs?
King Doopliss: I know a guy.
(All the signs burst into flames.)
King Doopliss: I didn’t say he was reliable, though. And when did Lemmy return?
Lemmy: Ten minutes from now.
King Doopliss: What?
(Lemmy causes a time paradox and disappears for 10 minutes.)
King Doopliss: … Continuing, why didn’t you mention Bowser Jr.?
Ludwig: No one’s really sure. He just kind of appeared one day out of the blue.
King Doopliss: Wait, what?
Ludwig: I was just walking down a hall and I just saw him pass me. It was the first time I had ever seen him.
King Doopliss: Okay… Moving on, why where you given command of Pipe Land in Super Mario Bros. 3?
Ludwig: I like to invent so King Dad gave me Pipe Land so no one would disturb my inventing.
King Doopliss: Yeah… because that so stopped people, like Mario, from “disturbing” your inventing time.
Ludwig: Your sarcasm is not needed.
King Doopliss: Well I think it is needed. Next question, what games have you appeared in?
Ludwig: I’ve appeared in Super Mario Bros. 3, Super Mario World, Yoshi's Safari, and Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga.
King Doopliss: Going back to Bowser Jr., how does it make you feel that he has “replaced” you and your siblings?
Ludwig: It makes me angry. I can’t stand that little-
(A sign falls and hits Ludwig. It says “No bad language from you ~ Lemmy.” The sign then melts.)
Ludwig: *(%)$#*%(#@! It melted all over my shell. It’ll take weeks to clean it all off. Anyways, I hate the kid.
King Doopliss: I guess we agree on something.
(Lightning strikes and the studio loses power.)
King Doopliss: Stupid, cheap, rundown warehouse I call a studio. Now how am I going to do audience questions?
Cloaked Figure: You can use these boots.
King Doopliss: Good idea. I can harness the untold power of these boots to power my studio.
Clocked Figure: No, I was thinking throw them at the audience, and wh ever gets hit has to ask a question.
King Doopliss: That works too.
(King Doopliss throws the first boot.)
Peach: Ow. That wasn’t nice.
King Doopliss: Just ask a question.
Peach: How come when you jumped in Super Mario Bros. 3 you made an earthquake?
Ludwig: Look, I had just spent a lot of time inventing and eating a lot of sugary food to keep me awake so I could keep inventing. And since Mario came after me last I had gained a lot of weight by then.
(King Doopliss throws another boot.)
Nastasia: My glasses! I can’t see without my glasses!
King Doopliss: You don’t need to see in order to ask a question, so ask.
Nastasia: How come some fans say that all your machines explode?
Ludwig: That was just a joke started on Lemmy’s Land. For some reason people liked it so much that it’s used a lot.
(King Doopliss throws another boot.)
Goomba: Ow.
King Doopliss: Just ask your question.
Goomba: …
Ludwig: Speak up, I can’t hear you.
Goomba: …
Cloaked Figure: I think the boot squished whoever it hit, meaning it was a useless Goomba.
King Doopliss: Well that’s just great. I’m all out of boots.
Ludwig: Well I guess you could use- HEY WAIT! Who’s touching me? Let go, your hands are cold! Hey stop, I’ll report you to the authorities! Stop… MPH! MPH! MPH!
Cloaked Figure: My pony’s handsome?
King Doopliss: We already did that joke. But it seams like someone’s taken Ludwig.
Lemmy: What?! Someone took my older brother?
King Doopliss: Yes.
Lemmy: Sweet! Now I’m next in line for the throne.
King Doopliss: Well I guess that’s it for today then. NOW GET OUT OF HERE!
Peach: We have been trying to since you started throwing boots, but no one can find the exit.
King Doopliss: You’re all lucky I can’t see you right now, otherwise I would so sic Cloaked Figure on you.
Cloaked Figure: Yeah.
Vengeful Voice: Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
King Doopliss: Stop that laughing. I’m trying to find a flashlight so I can see where the audience is so I can sic Cloaked Figure on them.
Ludwig: MPH?!
King Doopliss’ Creator: To be continued…
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