Lemmy: What’s wrong? Your interviewee shouldn’t give you any trouble.
Blaze: It’s not her I’m worried about. It’s my Interview partner… One of ‘em, anyway.
Lemmy: Well I was originally gonna have Shadow the Hedgehog be one of your partners, but I figured that probably wouldn’t work out so well… He was unavailable anyway, but that’s a good thing, for everyone’s own safety…
Elsewhere...
Shadow: DIE, SONIC!!! THOSE EMERALDS ARE MINE!!!
Sonic: Shadow! Control yourself! Woah! Hey! What’re you doing?! AAH!!! BE CAREFUL WITH THAT BAZOOKA!!!
Back at the Studio…
Blaze: Oh… That’s understandable, but why, of all people, did you have to pick that stupid Clubba?!
Blaze: Flubba, don’t push my buttons. Anyway, today, we’re interviewing a graduate of Goomba University with a love for
archaeology. Give it up for Goombella!
Goombella walks onstage. The crowd cheers. Goombella sits in the third interviewer’s chair.
Flubba: Hey, lady! Wrong chair!
Goombella: WHY I OUGHTA—
Blaze: Forget him. Something’s wrong with him, but yes, you’re in the wrong chair…
Goombella switches to the interviewee chair.
Flubba: I can’t wait for the other guy! Let’s just start now before I go crazy!
Blaze: Funny. I thought you already did four months ago…
Mario: (If Peach finds out about this, she’ll kill me… Mmmm… Cheese…)
Flubba: Can somebody help me? I’m stuck in the wall…
Blaze: To put this in a single word…
Everybody but Flubba: NO!!!
Flubba: Aw, come on!
Everybody but Flubba: NO!!!
Flubba: Please?
Everybody but Flubba: NO!!!
Flubba: GET ME OUT OR I’LL KILL YOU ALL!!!
Everybody but Flubba: SHUT UP!!!
Flubba: …
Blaze: Next question… What do you do?
Goombella: I work with Professor Frankly now. He was my archaeology teacher at Goomba University.
Blaze: Ooh! Next question…
Lemmy: Hang on!
Blaze: What?
Lemmy: During Interviews with more than one interviewer, one interviewer can’t ask consecutive questions.
Blaze: Oh… Well, since Flubba is stuck in the wall and the other interviewer isn’t here yet, I’ll let Hooktail ask the next question.
Hooktail: Okay… uh… Exactly how do you protect yourself where you live? I hear Rogueport has a lot of crooks and thugs and whatnot…
Goombella: I just use my moves from TTYD. My headbonk is especially painful when I’m wearing my helmet, which I always am.
Hooktail: You’re telling me! That really hurt when you bounced on my toes, especially since Mario was also whacking them with his hammer and Koops was slamming them with his shell!
Goombella: Don’t forget! We were hitting you in the face, too!
Hooktail: That hurt even more!
Blaze: If I may interrupt this conversion, but we’re interviewing, remember?
Goombella: It was rude of you to interrupt in the first place—
Blaze: Moving on—
A speaker box falls on Blaze.
Blaze: OW!
Shy Guy: That was accidental! Honest!
Blaze: *sigh*
*CRASH*
Blaze: What was that?
Lemmy: Must be your third Interview partner. He and my brother are… not so fond of each other.
A big cloud of smoke comes onstage.
Lemmy: Yep. There they are…
The cloud disappears. Woshi has Iggy pinned to the floor and is slamming Iggy’s head against the floor.
Iggy: OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! QUIT IT!!!
Woshi: MAKE ME!!!
They roll around on the floor with their hands locked together.
Blaze: Were these the two guys you saw fighting?
Goombella: Actually, no…
Iggy pins Woshi to the floor.
Woshi: GET OFF!!!
Woshi kicks Iggy off. Iggy goes flying towards to wall, where Flubba finally gets himself unstuck.
Flubba: Ugh! Stupid dragon! I hope she… (seeing Iggy flying towards him) Oh crud…
Iggy slams into Flubba.
Flubba: Ow…
Iggy: *groan* YOU’LL PAY FOR THAT!!!
Iggy charges at Woshi, but Woshi punches him in the face.
Iggy: OW!!! RRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Iggy tackles Woshi.
Goombella: Are we gonna get on with this Interview?!
Blaze: Hey! Come on! The audience is enjoying this!
Flubba: What a wimp! He’s getting his shell whooped by a Yoshi barely over half his size!
A stagelight falls on Flubba’s head.
Flubba: OW!
Iggy: Lemmy, that stupid Yoshi totally ate my lunch, AND YOU JUST STOOD THERE AND WATCHED!!!
Lemmy: I simply didn’t want to get involved. Woshi probably would’ve done the same to me…
Woshi: Sorry I’m late, guys. I had a little score to settle with this rainbowhead!
Iggy: I don’t feel so good…
Woshi: CORK IT, OR YOU’LL GET MORE OF THE SAME!!!
Iggy: *gulp*
Woshi: Anyway, are we gonna interview this gorgeous gal or what?
Goombella: (Gorgeous?)
Blaze: If you’ll get in that chair, we’ll continue.
Woshi gets in the chair.
Blaze: Finally, next question… How did you make out with the rest of Mario’s party in TTYD?
Goombella: I just can’t tell you how much Ms. Mowz and Flurrie annoyed me. Koops, Gonzales Junior, and Bobbery were okay, but I couldn’t stand Ms. Mowz and Flurrie… and Vivian! Why should Mario hook up with them anyway? After all, I was the cutest in the group!
Flubba: Not as cute as the purple chick over there with the pink snail thing in her face and ridiculous stripy hat!
Vivian: *hmph*
Goombella: Hooktail…
Hooktail: Right!
Hooktail tailwhips Flubba, who flies into the exact same hole in the wall. Everyone else applauds.
Hooktail: Thank you! Thank you very much!
Flubba: Not this again…
Woshi: Next question. Who were some of your college classmates?
Goombella: Well, there was Arfur, a Doogan, and one nice guy in fact; and Larson, a very annoying Bandit. He’d steal anything he could get his hands on. And then there’s Rawk… He bored me to death with his bragging, and it was really disturbing to see him beat up Pete… Speaking of Pete, I don’t know why he dyed his shell yellow… I liked it better when his shell was red.
Flubba: It’s bigger than Blaze’s brain! I’ll give you that!
Blaze: THAT DOES IT!!!
Blaze attacks Flubba. A cloud of smoke appears over them. The fight is so wild the stage floor starts ripping up.
Lemmy: You’re both paying for that floor!
A stagelight falls on Lemmy’s head.
Lemmy: OW! What was THAT for?!
Shy Guy: I had to hit SOMEBODY! And Flubba’s a little busy…
Flubba: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!! HEY!!! CAREFUL!!! I HAVE SENSITIVE HAIR FOLICLES!!!
Blaze: Why do you think I’m pulling your hair out?
Lemmy: Can we just end this Interview now before you guys all tear my studio apart?!
Hooktail: Hey! No need to panic!
Lemmy: SHUT UP!!! This is a PERFECT time to panic! First, you knock down my wall, then you break a hole in my ceiling, then Shadow blasts away my wall with a bazooka, and now Blaze and Flubba are ripping up my floor! WHAT’S NEXT?!
Hooktail: Well… Doctor Eggman could randomly blast through the wall in his Eggpod.
Eggman randomly blasts through the wall in his Eggpod.
Eggman: GET A LOAD OF THIS!!!
Lemmy: Did you have to say that?
Hooktail: Hey! I said “randomly”, and that was totally random!
Lemmy: *sigh* I said big fights lead to big ratings… I was wrong… They lead to high repair bills…
Shadow throws Sonic into Lemmy.
Lemmy: OW! Watch it!
Sonic: FYI! Not my fault!
Shadow: DIE!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!
Lemmy: What did I do?!
Shadow: YOU BLEW UP MY BAZOOKA!!!
Lemmy: You never needed one in the first place, you know…
Shadow: Oh… You’re right…
Lemmy: Say Woshi. I was wondering… Whatever happened to your little friend?
Woshi: Oh… K.K? He’s doing me a big favor by holding off your dad while I handle this Interview…
Lemmy: I guess Bowser still hasn’t forgotten that little… tour of the castle you did…
Bowser flies through the wall and lands on Roy.
Roy: Ow…
K.K. runs in through the hole in the wall.
Woshi: Hey, buddy! You made it!
K.K.: I would’ve been here sooner, but he wasn’t done trying to crispy-fry me…
Lemmy: You’re paying for that wall, K.K!
Flubba: Wow… Bowser got beaten up by a Koopa less than half his size. What a wimp!
Bowser: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!
Flubba: Meep…
Blaze: Come on, Bowser! Join the brawl!
Bowser: With pleasure!
Bowser and Blaze beat up Flubba.
Flubba: HELP!!! I’M BEING RUTHLESSLY ASSAULTED!!!
Woshi: That’s a GOOD thing!
Shadow: CHAOS CONTROL!!!
Lemmy: NO! END TRANSMISSION!!!
Shadow: Oh phooey…
Later...
Lemmy: I TOLD YO GUYS TO GET THROUGH THIS INTERVIEW WITHOUT ANYTHING WEIRD HAPPENING!!!
Blaze: Chill, dude. This Interview has enough yelling already.
Lemmy: Fine, but that doesn’t mean I’m not furious about my studio! It’ll take MONTHS to repair!
Hooktail: Hey! You can’t blame me! I’m bigger than Petey Piranha, Bowser, and Boolossus combined!
Lemmy: That’s true… I’ll let you off, but Flubba, Shadow, K.K, and Eggman are definitely paying for all this!
Flubba: What’d I do?!
Lemmy: Nothing! I just don’t like you!
Flubba: …
Lemmy: Oh… and you’re paying for the floor, Blaze!
Blaze gives Lemmy the evil eye.
Lemmy: Oh… Never mind… I’ll just have Flubba do some extra work…
Flubba: Rrrr…
K.K: And why should I pay?
Lemmy: You somehow threw Bowser through the wall, remember?
Wario: It’s true! You see, I was late getting here and I saw him fighting Bowser and failing miserably. He said he’d give me a hundred coins if I threw Bowser into the wall.
K.K: And here’s your one hundred.
K.K. gives Wario a bag with one hundred coins.
Wario: Ooh! Money money money!
Lemmy snatches away the bag.
Wario: HEY!!!
Lemmy: Thank you, Wario! This is a good start for paying for repairs to my studio!
Whoops! You're not logged in! If you were, you could leave the author of this submission some feedback, even vote it into Little Lemmy's Land! Why not login now?