Kody: Must… keep… playing… TAKE THAT! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Tira: Well, someone is a lost cause.
Kody: Shut up. Hey, I got another trophy!
Tira: *sigh…* Today somebody gets interviewed, I guess.
Clover: Yep. And I’m back to interviewing after all this time. Finally! Anyway, here’s Koops.
(Koops walks out.)
Koops: Um… Hi.
Lord Crump: BOO! YOU STINK!
Tira: I have a ruler.
Lord Crump: NOOOO!
(Crump bolts.)
Koops: … What just happened?
Clover: Something. Anyway, let’s get started. Yay. Are you or are you not currently in a relationship with Koopie Koo?
Koops: (blushing profusely) Uhhhhhm… Yes?
Clover: I knew it! I knew it! HA HA! I mean, uh, yeah, that’s awesome. I guess she doesn’t think you’re a weakling anymore, though.
Koops: Not that much, no.
Bowser: You’re still a weakling to me.
(Bowser’s head morphs into a wheel and tire, and he subsequently runs around randomly, crashing into walls and whatnot, yelling muffled curses. Tira breaks into fits of hysterical laughter.)
Dimentio: Thank you, thank you, I’m here ‘til Thursday, try the veal…
Tira: He he… heh… Yeah, will do.
Clover: I don’t eat meat.
Roy: Loser.
Clover: TAKE A HIKE! Anyway, how did you feel after beating Hooktail?
Koops: Much more brave than before!
Clover: Would you go grocery shopping with Booster?
Booster: PEANUT BUTTER!
Koops: I’m not that brave… Yikes.
Meta Knight: These jokes are getting really old, really fast.
Tira: And really irritating.
Clover: I’ll deal with him later. *grins* Okay. So what’s your stat values?
Koops: Dunno. They constantly change as I level up.
Tira: GIVE YOUR CURRENT ONES!!!
Koops: AHH!!!
(Koops runs off.)
Clover: Now look what you’ve done!
Tira: Sorry.
Kody: Wh- HEY! GET OUTTA HERE!
Koops: AHH!!!
(Kody kicks Koops out of the room, then turns to the TV screen.)
Kody: ACK!!! YOU MADE ME LOSE!!! YOU’RE GONNA–
(Ludwig whacks Kody in the back of the head with his wand, bashing him out cold.)
Kody: Ow.
Ludwig: Sorry, but it had to be done.
Meta Knight: THANK YOU. I couldn’t tear him away from that thing.
Rigel: It was tough to get near him for a KO. Thanks for distracting him, Koops.
Koops: Uhm… You’re welcome…
(Ludwig takes the copy of SSBB and locks it up in his vault.)
Clover: … Yeeeeeah, he’s gonna freak when he wakes up. Anyway… Do you have an answer to that violent– I mean eccentric question?
Tira: …
Koops: 55 HP, 8 Att, and 2 Def.
Clover: Well someone is now well informed. *glares at Tira* So how are you able to hold your position when Mario launches you?
Koops: I make a bit of an effort to keep myself spinning in one spot.
Clover: And launching yourself back?
Koops: Hey, just look at any Koopa Troopa’s attack.
Clover: Yeeeeah, totally awesome, right. What about Shell Slam?
Koops: Need a lot of energy for that. I never knew I could do that until I journeyed a long while with Mario and Crew.
Clover: And where’d you get a giant shell to protect Mario?
Koops: Internet.
Meta Knight: Getting old.
Koops: Well it’s true.
Meta Knight: Indeed. Clichés are not looked upon kindly, however.
Koops: Who said this was a-
Clover: Yeah, okay… Can we move on please?
Lord Crump: No.
Tira: DIE!
(Tira beats Lord Crump to a pulp.)
Lord Crump: Pain.
Koops: That was…
Tira: Awesome, I know. Thank you.
Koops: Uh… Not the word I had in mind, but fine.
Tira: …
Topmaniac: I want to ask a question.
Clover: Later.
Topmaniac: Aww.
Clover: It’ll come. Well, are you going to answer that question correctly or not?
Koops: All right, all right, fine! I bribed the stagecrew into giving me an unlimited supply of huge shells in each battle.
Clover: There, see? You didn’t have to lie.
Audience: Lies!
(Clover pulls a lever and the audience is drenched in rulers. All the X-Nauts start melting on the spot with screams of agony.)
Tira: Hahahaha!
Lord Crump: I’ll get you for this.
Clover: Weird. Let’s move on to audience questions, yay! Seat 8.
Meta Knight: We don’t do the seats in numbers anymore.
Clover: Huh?
Meta Knight: Here, I’ll demonstrate. Seat GOAL.
Soopa Striker: Oh, I can ask a question?
Meta Knight: No, I was just calling your seat to demonstrate.
Soopa Striker: But I have a question!
Meta Knight: Well that’s just too bad, isn’t it?
Soopa Striker: NOT FAIR! I demand equality!
Dimentio: YEAH! Oh wait…
(Dimentio sends the Striker to Dimension D.)
Soopa Striker: Aw man…
Clover: Okay, I get it. Seat RUBEES.
Mimi: What is your–
Clover: Ew, nasty little spidery square thing! I’m skipping your seat.
Mimi: WAH!!!
Waluigi: That’s my quote!
Clover: WHO CARES?! All right, seat… er… WATCHIT.
Watchitt: WATCH IT! Hrm… Why do you wear a hood, young’un?
Koops: Er… I wear it to look cool…
Clover: Honestly, take it off, it makes you look stupid. I would know, I have an eye for fashion. Anyway, Seat POYO.
Kirby: Yeah, I can still talk. And how did it feel leaving your family at first?
Koops: It was… really… the darkest moment of my life, because I didn’t know what awaited me… But my adventures with Mario turned me into a stronger Koopa! I promised them that I would come back a stronger Koopa.
Clover: Well done, both of you. Seat CALCIUM.
Dry Bones: Why does the look in your eyes always make you look like you’re frightened, eh?
Koops: Hey! I was scared back then…
Dry Bones: Eheheh… Sure. You still looked like that after you defeated the Queen…
Koops: …
Clover: Hey, leave him alone, you skeleton freak.
Dimentio: There’s nothing wrong with freaks!
Tira: He’s right, you know!
Dry Bones: I feel so loved.
Vivian: I don’t.
Clover: All of you, just, shut, up. Last question… um… Seat SPINNYTHINGRECHARGED.
Topmaniac: I can ask! Go me! Now speak! How did you get that band-aid on your nose… beak… thing… whatever?
Koops: I got into a fight with Jr. Troopa.
Jr. Troopa: And I would’ve won too if it weren’t for you meddling–
(Dimentio throws some sardines at Jr. Troopa.)
Jr. Troopa: AH! The pain! It BURNS!!!
Tira: … Why sardines?
Dimentio: Hey, they can be quite painful if you leave them in the tin.
Tira: Ah.
Clover: Great! Now to hurt Booster.
Mimi: OH NO YOU DON’T! You’re not getting away with calling me… me… what you just did! MIIIMIII!!!
(Mimi changes to her spider form.)
Clover: AHH!!!
(Clover bolts with Mimi in pursuit.)
Topmaniac: Can I do an Interview?
Meta Knight: Well let’s see… Kody was supposed to do an Interview with Dark Koopa next time but it’s been pretty long since they last spoke.
Topmaniac: About what…?
Meta Knight: That is classified information. *shifty eyed* Also, Kody’s been… indisposed since Ludwig knocked him out.
Ludwig: It had to be done.
Topmaniac: Well can I?
Meta Knight: Errrr… Wait a bit first.
Topmaniac: Darn… But can I at least end transmission?
Meta Knight: Sure, knock yourself out.
Topmaniac: Awesome.
(Topmaniac spins towards the camera, but gets intercepted by Mimi and both take out the wall behind the camera.)
Clover: Haha!
Mimi: You oaf!
Topmaniac: GRR! I’m gonna rip off your piddy little legs!
Mimi: EEK!!!
(Now Topmaniac chases Mimi around.)
Clover: Now for you!
Booster: Gulp!
Snifit 1: Do we get paid for saving your life?
Booster: … No.
(Clover begins to beat the daylights out of Booster.)
Tira: You know, I do love this chaos, but for the sake of a certain interviewer I’d better end it before this gets out of hand.
(Tira hurls her blade at the camera again, destroying it.)
Dimentio: That one’s on me.
Tira: Thank you.
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