Anti Dude: Since you guys are such great minions- I mean victims- No, wait, that came out wrong. Slaves- No, wait. Crewmembers, I've decided to let you guys get a special tour of my apartment!
Aurora: Why?
Anti Dude: Well, actually, I'm meeting someone there, and he said to bring the crew.
(Ten minutes later, everyone is in a very crowded elevator.)
Anti Dude: To floor 42!
Baron von Bone: There is no floor 42. Just 41 and 43.
Anti Dude: Quick, ram yourselves against the door! Now!
(Everyone does, and flies into a hallway.)
Author: I hope J.K. Rowling doesn't sue me.
Anti Dude: Here, let me put in the key-
(CLICK!)
Anti Dude: Let's go in!
(EW! THIS PLACE IS DISGUSTING! There are piles of grime and garbage everywhere, there are dirty clothes on every surface, the windows are cracked, and meat is scattered everywhere. There are lots of bugs, stains, and wet blotches.)
Anti Dude: To my bedroom!
Aurora: But... the door is rusted shut.
Anti Dude: Luckily, there's a hole in my wall.
(Everybody walks through the hole to be in a room in worse condition than the last.)
Anti Dude: Here! Doopliss should be here soon.
(A Chain Chomp emerges from a pile of garbage.)
Anti Dude: Rufus!
Rufus: Bark bark!
Anti Dude: I should take you out to potty and feed you more often. And I should buy a toilet, too.
(Rufus shakes his head in agreement. Doopliss falls from the ceiling.)
Doopliss: Yes! I get to see the inside of another person’s- Hey, what did I fall in?
Anti Dude: When the scientists find out, I'll let you know. It isn't THAT dangerous if touched.
Doopliss: Ahh!
(He scrambles away.)
Anti Dude; Wait, I have to Interview one person a month, and we're doing a PM:TTYD boss special! C'mon!
Doopliss: Do I get paid?
Anti Dude: Nope.
Doopliss: Not even in the scattered pieces of meat?
(Anti Dude tosses him a T-Bone steak.)
Doopliss: And I want Super Smash Bros. Brawl!
Anti Dude: The ninth.
Doopliss: And I-
Anti Dude: Enough!
(He ties Doopliss to a stake and holds him over the Hillbilly Pit.)
Doopliss: I'LL DO ANYTHING!
Anti Dude: The chicken dance!
Doopliss: I'm tied to a pole!
Anti Dude: OBEY YOUR NEW MASTER!
Doopliss: I'm not sure what that means, but oh well.
(He starts doing the chicken dance.)
Doopliss: I don't wanna be a chicken, I don't wanna be a duck, so I shake my-
Anti Dude: FAMILY FRIENDLY!
Doopliss: -behind!
Anti Dude: Do you have any relatives?
Doopliss: Mapliss and Yarnliss.
Anti Dude: I'm too lazy to continue! Someone else can!
Aurora: Why do you wear a party hat?
Doopliss: BECAUSE I LIKE TO PART-TAY!
(Aurora lowers the pole.)
Doopliss: Erm, the orange Dry Bones looks nicer. Ask a question.
Baron: The Twilighters called you a demon. Why?
Doopliss: They didn't know who I was.
(The Baron throws his head at Doopliss because that was his least favorite boss. It falls in the Pit. Petey takes over.)
Petey: When you jumped out of the window after Mario defeated you, how did you not die?
Doopliss: Because I landed on my trampoline.
Jeff: Like, dude, I didn't see a trampoline.
Doopliss: The designers left it out.
Petey: I was interviewing!
(They get into a dust cloud like in those cartoons.)
Smorg 51: I'm takin' over! How did you get to Creepy Steeple?
Doopliss: I was exploring Crystal Palace, and I found this warp pipe, and you can figure out the rest.
Smorg 51: SOULS!
(He tries to suck out Doopliss' soul, but Doopliss kicks him into the Hillbilly Pit.)
Dimentio: Everyone else asked a question, why not me? How did you get the bell?
Doopliss: The place was built by evil demons who believed I was a god and would help them destroy the world. So some Oinker followers built a bell to do evil stuff, and put it in my worship temple.
Dimentio: Why is there-
Doopliss: One question per person, since that's what has been happening so far.
Barry: Why is there a stained glass window of you?
Doopliss: Same thing as the last question.
Squirps: Were you really an evil god, squinks?
Doopliss: No.
G.I.C: The Boos.
Doopliss: What about them?
G.I.C: I think you know.
Doopliss: No, I don-
(The Guy in the Cloak lowers the pole. Anti Dude mouths the question.)
Doopliss: Oh, the Boos were the spirits of the demons who thought I was a god. How did Anti Dude know the question?
Anti Dude: You can't ask questions, you aren't part of the crew!
Doopliss: ...
Squeeky: Why do you call people slick, Senor?
Doopliss: Because it makes me sound cool.
Shrexy: Why did you join the Shadow Sirens?!
Doopliss: They said they would pay me.
Roy Raven: When Mario fought you the first time, when you turned into the purple version of Mario, was the player still the red Mario?
Doopliss: No. He played as me for a short time.
Bo: Why didn't you just take out Beldam if you didn't like her calling you Freak-Sheet, dude?
Doopliss: She threatened me.
Shayd: How?
Doopliss: She was gonna show me Marilyn's feet.
Everyone: AHH!
(Shayd hops down the Hillbilly Pit for protection.)
Hillbillies: Food! Hyuk yuk yuk yuk!
Phil: Where'd you get the parrot?
Doopliss: A pet store.
Foodius: Did you ever feed him?
Doopliss: Sometimes. I oughta check if he's alive.
Bandito: W-w-why are you m-m-more powerful than other D-D-Duplighosts?
Doopliss: I wanted to be the very best, like no one ever was, to catch them was my real quest, to train them was my cause-
Anti Dude: Awkward...
(He finishes.)
Doopliss: Sorry. I wanted to be the best, so I trained at The Master's.
(Why did you attack Mario?)
Doopliss: He ruined my "me" time.
(Did everyone go?)
Jade Blooper: Ahem. What films did you star in?
Doopliss: Golden Toad 2, Teenage Ninja Koopa Bros, Axem Rangers: Mighty Force, Super Luigi: The Movie, and Flurrie: The Musical. And some other movies. I also did the voice for Darth Vader.
(I thought James Earl Jones did that.)
Doopliss: Wrong. All Duplighosts can access the JEJ voice. (in Darth Vader voice) This is CNN.
Everyone: O_O
Anti Dude: Did you get that from Doogtoons/Askaninja.com?
Doopliss: They copied that from us. Can I get off the pole now?
Anti Dude: Boys, drop 'im!
(Two Sledge Bros. drop him into the Pit.)
Doopliss: AHH! END TRANSMISSION!
(Transmission ended.)
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