(Everyone except the Guy in Cloak are in a room watching Deal or No Deal. G.I.C. is in a corner, trying to possess a random object. Anti Dude walks in.)
Anti Dude: I have a surprise!
TV: Deal... or No Deal?
Everyone except You-Know-Who: NO DEAL!!!
(Anti Dude turns off the TV.)
Everyone watching TV: NOOOOOOOOO!
Anti Dude: I've got us all tickets to the Excess Express!
Aurora: I'm ashamed to say it, but I am actually happy with you!
(Squeeky passes by Anti Dude.)
Squeeky: That is sad. You must try to win her over?
Anti Dude: I am going to strangle you.
(He goes so.)
Squeeky: ACK- I AM SORRY, SENOR!
(Anti Dude stops.)
(18 to 53 minutes later, we’re all on the train.)
Random Guy: I sure am glad there aren't any Smorgs here!
(As if on cue, Smorgs cover the train, come in, and take everyone but Anti Dude and me away.)
Anti Dude: I liked that boss' music.
(DON'T JUST STAND THERE! SAVE EVERYONE!)
Anti Dude: You don't have to be bossy. Say please.
(HURRY UP, YOU #$%^%!)
Anti Dude: Them is fightin' words!
(Fine. sigh Please.)
Anti Dude: Thank you.
We go to the top of the train. Everyone is in the Smorg's tentacles. A PM:TTYD stage appears. The audience is filled with Smorgs, and Anti Dude takes Mario's position.
(Anti Dude uses Fire! 4 damage to Smorg!)
(Smorg uses-)
(Move it! I'm the only narrator around here! Is this Tutankoopa?)
(No! It isn't!)
(…)
(You win this round! Run away!)
(That's better. Anti Dude uses Interview!)
Anti Dude: I didn't mean to hit that! Here, I'll skip the action commands!
(Too late!)
Anti Dude: Crud. Do you even want to be interviewed?
Smorg: SMmmMMMMoooooOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOoooooooRRRRrrGGGG!! (Yes.)
Anti Dude: Fine. What are you?
Smorg: Smorg. (Evil demons, created by sloth, lust, wrath, pride, gluttony, greed, and other thing we can't remember.)
Anti Dude: I hear that a lot.
Smorg: SSSssssSSSmmmMMMOOOOooooooOOOORRrrGGG!!! (True.)
Anti Dude: Why'd you try to stop Mario?
Smorg: Smorg. (We are evil demons from another dimension that like to suck out souls! Did you expect us to offer him tea and cookies?)
Anti Dude: Yes, actually.
(Anti Dude hits the Smorg with fire again. A Smorg breaks off.)
Smorg that broke off (STBO): Hi!
Anti Dude: Shush. Why are some of you red?
Smorg: Smorg. (They are the ones created from people who had a lot of the aforementioned stuff. They have increased bloodflow.)
Anti Dude: Any other variants?
Smorg: SSSSssssSSSmmmMMooooOOOOOooooRRRrrggGG!! (There are green ones in Gloam Valley, and black ones can be found in most deserts, like the Gold Sands.)
Lemmy: Non-canon! Kill it!
(He takes out a Freeze Gun and points it at the Smorg.)
Smorg: Smorg. (You're holding it backwards.)
Lemmy: Oh.
(He turns it around, and freezes himself.)
Anti Dude: Can we gat a translator?
STBO: Ahem.
Anti Dude: No. I mean like so I don't need to type Smorg twenty million times.
STBO: Sorry.
Anti Dude: Where do Smorgs come from?
STBO: I can answer all these questions.
Anti Dude: What's your name?
STBO: Smorg 51.
(
Anti Dude: Where are Smorgs from?
Smorg 51: Where Count Bleck is from.
Anti Dude: Any relation to Fuzzies?
Smorg 51: No.
Anti Dude: Why do those tentacles do less damage than the pinchers?
Smorg 51: More Smorgs, more power.
Anti Dude: Why do you keep attacking this train?
Smorg 51: Because, lots of rich and famous people are on it. They taste good.
Anti Dude: Audience questions! Wait, the audience are all Smorgs. They won't have questions.
Baron von Bone (in Miasma): When will you get us down?
Anti Dude: Later.
Baron: I didn't wanna do this...
(The Baron takes out a shotgun and shoots all the Smorgs except Smorg 51.)
Smorg 51: Bretherin! No!
Anti Dude: Shut up.
(Smorg 51 tackles Shayd and starts sucking out his soul.)
Anti Dude: End transmission!
Smorg 51: One more question!
Anti Dude: Fine. How do the red Smorgs hold the others together?
Smorg 51: They're sticky. Can I join to get back at Baron von Bone?
Anti Dude: Lemmy gave me a contract saying to new crewmembers.
(He holds it out, drops it, and it gets shredded up by the train.)
Anti Dude: You're in!
(End transmission!)
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