Lemmybot: Hello and welcome to *bzzzzt*
Black Yoshi: What did you do to it, Life?
Life: It got annoying, so I destroyed it. DEEEEEEEESSSSSSTROOOOOOOY!!!
Black Yoshi: … Ok? Well today I have a few announcements! First of all, Stewie does Family Guy again now, so replacing him will be KJ.
(A green Birdo with wings flies in.)
Life: You!!! You killed my brother, which created Death!
Black Yoshi: I was going to do that!
Life: What?!
(KJ slaps Life.)
KJ: Shut up!
Black Yoshi: (while reading script) All right, KJ, tie the audience up in chains. And use spikes.
KJ: Yay!
(The audience screams in pain.)
Life: You people are evil.
KJ and Black: Thank you!
Black Yoshi: So today I interview my sister.
KJ: No, the Shadow Queen.
Black Yoshi: She’s my sister.
Everyone: How?!
Black Yoshi: Just after the Crystal Stars created the Shadow Queen, they mutated a Yoshi, creating me.
(The Shadow Queen floats in, eating a few souls on the way.)
Life: That was pleasant.
Black Yoshi: Audience, you are probably wondering why there are spikes on your chains.
Waluigi: Wah!
Black Yoshi: It’s because if you try to run away, the spikes will dig deep into your flesh, rendering you incapable of movement.
Life: I’m taking a vacation.
(Life floats into the sky.)
Black Yoshi: First question (finally): How did Mario beat you? I mean, he’s such an idiot.
Shadow Queen: Well, isn’t it obvious? He’s too stupid too feel pain. See?
Mario (with spikes inside himself): Wooohoooo! I-a feel so-a good!
Black Yoshi: So what’s the deal with the Crystal Stars?
Shadow Queen: ZZZT!
Black Yoshi: But-
Shadow Queen: HGFJGHHJDB#$#%$^FHVX!
Black Yoshi: Um… So what do you do for a living?
Shadow Queen: I’m in demolition.
Simpsons Kid: HAHA!
Black Yoshi: How were the Shadow Sirens created?
Shadow Queen: I gave birth to them.
Black Yoshi: Their father?
Shadow Queen: The Shadow King. I possessed him after that, then destroyed Rogueport.
Black Yoshi: What are Dead Hands?
Shadow Queen: When I take someone’s hands off, they become Dead Hands.
(The audience looks at their hands, only to notice that they are gone.)
Audience: AAAAAHHHH!!!
Black Yoshi: Time for audience questions! Seat 7.
Kooper: Did anyone try to control you when you were born?
Shadow Queen: Yes, some Magikoopas. They died when they did because I AM NOT A ROBOT!
(Kooper goes white and faints.)
Black Yoshi: Seat 82.
Simpsons Kid: HA HA!
(Simpsons Kid is struck by lightning.)
Simpson Kid’s Ghost: HA HA!
Black Yoshi: Seat 50.
Luigi: W-
Simpson Kid’s Ghost: HA HA!
Luigi: You’re goin’ down, fatso!
(Luigi turns the Poltergust 3000 to MAX POWER, which sucks up SKG, as well as the Boos in the audience.)
Mario: To the Idiot Mobile!
(Mario crashes a Mario-shaped car into a tree outside.)
Lawyer: Sue! Sue! Sue! Sue!
(KJ shoots 4 spikes at the lawyer.)
Black Yoshi: Seat 43.
Beldam: Who’s you favorite Shadow Siren?
Shadow Queen: Vivian, of course.
(Beldam and Marilyn beat up Vivian.)
Black Yoshi: Seat 10.
Shadow Queen: Yes, we are both in the People Who Got Beat Up By Mario Association.
Black Yoshi: Well, since we’re done with questions, it’s time for for the Lottery of Death! Whatever comes out of the sphere happens to the audience! Okay… start… now!
(A ball with a picture of pie comes out.)
Audience: PIE!!!
(The audience is turned into pie.)
Lawyer Pie: Sue!
Pieluigi: Wah!
Black Yoshi: Who did that?!
Bart Simpson: Hehehe.
Black Yoshi: Lemmy’s supposed to do that!
(KJ starts choking Bart with a rubber egg.)
Black Yoshi: Ah, convenience.
Obama: End Transmission.
Cheese: I like the fair!
Black Yoshi: AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH! Lemmy, in the name of all that’s pure, except for me, say do you like this submission!
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