Chase: Welcome, one and all, to my first Interview! Yahoo! I'm gonna be a star!
Koopa in the audience: Good... I guess.
Chase: Thank you! Anyways, I'll be interviewing the weakest creature ever made... GOOMBA!
Goomba: Hey! I have ears, you know!
Chase: You call those holes ears?! I thought they were to get fresh air into your head!
Goomba: How disrespectful!
Chase: Well, before I lose the few viewers I have, I'll start with the questions. Why'd you decide to work for Bowser?
Goomba: At the time, my family was very poor, so I joined the Koopa Troop. A Goomba's gotta have a living, eh!?
Chase: (Goombas don't live very long.) Sure. Next question: how old are you?
Goomba: Uh... er... *counts people in audience* ...9?
Chase: (This guy's an idiot.) Good enough for me. Why don't you have arms?
Goomba: Well, you see, Bowser was working on this special goo when... OH I DON'T KNOW WHY I DON'T HAVE ARMS!
Chase: (I made a serious mistake.) Oh. Why do Goombas only use headbonks in battle?
Goomba: Let's see... We don't have arms, so, uh... Well, anyway, Goombas can do jumps, but they're very weak and cause almost no damage.
Chase: (Neither does the headbonk.) I see. Why are Goombas called the minions of minions?
Goomba: Because we are minions of minions! I mean, all of Bowser's minions use us! I SAY WE RAID BOWSER'S CASTLE AND DE-THRONE HIM!!! WHO'S WITH ME?!
(Crickets chirp.)
Chase: Sit down! Anyway, why do most Goombas have a tattle ability they can use to learn special moves about enemies?
Goomba: Even though we always get killed, we actually know a lot about Plit.
Chase: What is the hat you guys wear to become Spikey Goombas?
Goomba: It's a softened, green Koopa shell with a spike put on top.
Chase: K. Audience questions! Er... Seat... Wait, we only have nine audience members?
Director: 'Fraid so.
Chase: *sigh* Okay, seat 7.
Wiggler: How do Goombas turn into Paragoombas?
Goomba: We use the same wings Mario used in Super Mario 64.
Chase: Interesting. Seat 3.
X-Naut: Would you like to join the X-Nauts?
Goomba: Sure! Call me X-Goomba!
Chase: K, moving on. Seat 5.
Koopa: How do Goombas hold things if they don't have hands?
Goomba: We put them in our mouths.
Chase: Last question. Seat 1.
K-9: Can Goombas use items like Fire Flowers?
Goomba: No. Since most Goombas are on Bowser's side, no.
Chase: That's all the time we have. Let's give a round of applause to Goomba.
Audience: *clap*
Chase: ... End Transmission.
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