PlayStop

SHAYD interviews BONECHILL
 
By Fillet-O-Fish

(Baron von Bone, Anti Dude, and I are now standing in the Underwhere. Author, please don't make us do all chapters!)

Author: Haw haw! I'm wicked bad!

(I'm sure you are.)

Author: To the Batmobile! Dinanananana!

Anti Dude: Why am I here? I'm not dead! I'M NOT DEAD!!

(He goes insane and runs off into River Twygz. The Underhands get him. He reappears five seconds later.)

Anti Dude: Wait! I'm good!

(A D-Man comes up with a tape recorder.)

D-Man: You squashed a bug.

Tape Recorder: Hey, wanna see me squash a bug? *squish* Ha ha!

Anti Dude: Noooo!

(He runs to the Underwhere Road.)

Anti Dude: It feels like this badly drawn darkness is closing in on me!

(It does.)

Anti Dude: It IS closing in on me!

(He falls limp. A Shayde reappears five seconds later.)

Shayde: AHHH! I'm dead! Noooo! Hey, I just noticed I've never interviewed by myself.

(Bonechill goes by.)

Shayde: You! And Author, please call me Anti Dude.

Author: We have no proof you are Anti Dude, so shush.

Shayde: But I need to be different! WAA!

Author: Yup, you're Anti Dude. That proves it. Sorta. I'll call you Shayd instead.

Shayd: Okay. So, Bonechill, what do you do now?

Bonechill: I go around collecting ammo, mostly.

Shayd: Were you really ever a Nimbi?

Bonechill: Maybe. Yes. No. Sorta. Possibly. It shall forever remain hidden.

Shayd: Gotcha. Where is your prison in the Underwhere?

Bonechill: Where Bowser was kept. It was crowded with 700 Skellobits in there with me.

Shayd: I know what you mean. Sorta. Why did you attack the Overthere?

Bonechill: It was written in the Dark Prognosticus.

Shayd: What is your species?

Bonechill: Skellobit. I was the first one. The others formed from bones that fell off me.

Shayd: Why are you in the Underwhere?

Bonechill: Queen Jaydes is the "nice person" of the Underwhere. I'm the "punisher".

Shayd: When people die, do all of them go to the Underwhere?

Bonechill: Mostly evil ones. Jaydes teaches them to do good. I (PHRASE BLOCKED. REASON: TOO GRUSOME.)

Shayd: OMG.

Bonechill: And I get paid for it!

(Shayd faints and dies. He reappears the second he falls.)

Shayd: Don't mention that ever again.

Bonechill: Okey-dokey!

Shayd: What's with the blue on your face?

Bonechill: It's blood.

Shayd: Why do you have a cannon for a lower body area?

Bonechill: So I can shoot things, duh.

Shayd: You didn't expect the hero to throw the ice back at you, huh?

Bonechill: Right.

Shayd: Why do you have wings and a tail? What does that accomplish?

Bonechill: Absolutely nothing.

Shayd: 0.0

Bonechill: I don't get it.

Shayd: SILENCE!

(He blows up, and reappears AGAIN.)

Shayd: See what happens when you break the silence?

Bonechill: Yeah I-

(Shayd explodes a second time.)

Shayd: I SAID SILENCE, SLAVE!!!

Bonechill: …

Shayd: Good. How did you get to the Overthere?

Bonechill: …

Shayd: ANSWER ME!

Bonechill: But you said-

(Shayd blows up a third time. He does not reappear.)

Bonechill: Quick, while he's gone! Iusedmypitifullytinywingstoflyupandnotget caughtwiththeSkellobitarmyhidinginmycannon. Pant, pant.

(Shayd appears. Didn't you just say your wings aren't for anything?)

Shayd: SILENCE, NARRATOR!

(He explodes, and reappears again. A void appears and sucks Shayd and I into it. Looks like team Anti Dude is blasting off again!)

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