(Super Troopa, a black-shelled Koopa, comes into the Interview room.)
Super Troopa: Hi! This is my first Interview, in celebration of the Giants winning the Super Bowl, so please welcome my assistant, HammerHeadBruda!
The spotlight fixes on a Koopa with a Koopatrol shell and helmet (except the helmet doesn’t cover his face) and gray Hammer Brother shoes, who walks in.
HammerHeadBruda: Hi everyone!
Super Troopa: Now, since you’re a Patriots fan, I’ll do this Interview.
HammerHeadBruda: *sigh* Fine.
Super Troopa: Since we’re going with football, let’s interview Chargin’ Chuck!
HammerHeadBruda: For our first Interview?
Super Troopa: Yeah, sure. I’m not totally crazy, am I?
(His head turns sideways until it’s completely upside-down.)
HammerHeadBruda: You know what? Let’s just go with your idea.
Super Troopa: Now please welcome Chargin’ Chuck.
(A Chargin’ Chuck falls from the ceiling.)
Super Troopa: Well, way to take your entrance to the next level. Or lower level, in your case.
(Crickets chirp.)
Super Troopa: Well at least the crickets like us. So, Chargin’ Chuck. Where do you get all those baseballs from?
Chargin’ Chuck: I keep them in my shell. There’s a lot more room in there than you’d expect.
Super Troopa: Yeah, my mom tried that once and she got hit by a car while chasing a bus, thinking it was a Twinkie, and died.
HammerHeadBruda: 0__o Um… Thanks for sharing that.
Super Troopa: Yeah, so now, how do you throw baseballs that stay in the air forever?
Chargin’ Chuck: Ludwig equipped them with a special device that lets them hover through the air.
Super Troopa: Actually, I think my mom died being lost at sea.
HammerHeadBruda: How could you not know how your own mother died?
Super Troopa: She died?
HammerHeadBruda: … Um… Next question!
Super Troopa: All right, so what kind of sport involves shoveling dirt and throwing it at people?
Chargin’ Chuck: It’s called Killmarioball. We made it up.
Super Troopa: What are the rules?
Chargin’ Chuck: Kill Mario.
Super Troopa: Bleh, that’s too complicated. I’m sticking to video games! All right, audience questions, seat 312!
(…)
HammerHeadBruda: We didn’t number the seats.
Super Troopa: Oh, well um… You there!
Cricket: Creek-eet!
Super Troopa: I think he asked “How do you keep bombs in your shell in Yoshi’s Safari without them exploding?”
Chargin’ Chuck: I light the fuse after I take it out.
(The cricket walks up to him and punches him in the face.)
Super Troopa: Oh wait, he said “If you talk one more time, I’ll punch you in the face.” Sorry. HammerHeadBruda, you ask the last question.
HammerHeadBruda: How did you split into three of yourself?
Chargin’ Chuck: Kamek supplied me with illusion magic.
Super Troopa: I bet my mom could do that if she didn’t die in a train wreck.
HammerHeadBruda: I thought your mom died at sea.
Super Troopa: I have a mom? Anyway, now it’s time for the…
(WHEEL!
OF!
WHEELS!)
Chargin’ Chuck: The what?
Super Troopa: You know how in every Interview there’s a wheel of pain, fate, etc? Well, I decided to choose one by using the…
(WHEEL!
OF!
WHEELS!)
Chargin’ Chuck: You know no one’s saying it with you?
Super Troopa: Yeah, anyway…
(He spins it and the arrow lands on Wheel of Wheels.)
Chargin’ Chuck: What the?! Why did you put that there?
Super Troopa: I dunno.
(He spins it and it lands on Wheel of Wheels again.)
Super Troopa: Hold on, I’ll get it.
(Two hours later…)
Super Troopa: I think it’s broken because the arrow won’t move. Is that normal?
Chargin’ Chuck: Oh DAD, get me out of here!
(He jumps out of the building.)
Super Troopa: Oh, now I got it to work.
(It spins and lands on Wheel of Super Happy Lollipops.)
Super Troopa: Ooh! Hey, where’d he go? Well, see you, and hopefully we’ll get an audience in the next Interview that doesn’t just consist of crickets and my mom.
HammerHeadBruda: You know what, I’m not saying anything anymore.
(A bus drives by.)
Super Troopa’s Mom: Ooh, a Twinkie.
(A car sends her flying onto a cruise ship and she falls off and lands in an underwater train that explodes.)
Super Troopa and HammerHeadBruda: … END TRANSMISSION!
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