P.T. AND MII T. interview UNDERGRUNT GUNNER
 
By P.T. Piranha

P.T.: Spike! Interview!

Spike: Not now, it’s the one day of the month that I don’t feel sluggish, so I’m gonna go see Meet the Spartans. Later.

(Spike leaves.)

P.T.: Aww, I wanted to see that. Mii T.! Interview!

Mii T.: Fine, but since you drag me into your subplots, I’m dragging you into this Interview!

P.T.: Aww, I didn’t want to interview! Just for that, Punchy has to come too!

Punchy: Um, I think I’ll interview spiritually.

P.T.: It has “Interview” in it, so I’m okay with it.

Everyone but P.T. and Punchy: …

(Soon…)

P.T.: Today we interview a mole. How are you?

(A Goomba with a hideous mole on its cheek is seen next to P.T. and Mii T.)

Goomba: I named it Freddie.

Mii T.: P.T., did I ever tell you you’re an idiot?

P.T.: Who are you again?

Mii T.: …

P.T.: So Freddie, how are you?

“Freddie”: …

P.T.: Yeah, I’ve been there.

Mii T.: Okay, get the real interviewee now!

(The Goomba with the mole is then killed with an electric orb. A cannon with Undergrunt Gunner rolls in.)

P.T.: So mole, are you related to Major Burrows?

Undergrunt Gunner: He’s my big brother.

Mii T.: How do you have multiple cannons placed around the galaxies?

Undergrunt Gunner: Well the first one, in the Gold Leaf Galaxy, was the original. I salvaged the parts into a new, electrical cannon and relocated to the Toy Time Galaxy for target practice. Then when it blew up again, I built a new bubble one and decided to have living target practice in the Deep Dark Galaxy. Boy did that fail.

Mii T.: Then where is this one from?

Undergrunt Gunner: Mail order.

P.T.: Which of the galaxies was the most fun to wreck?

Undergrunt Gunner: Well bees are not fond of water so it was fun to squirt at them, but they have a big area to move around in. So I’d have to say the Deep Dark Galaxy.

Mii T.: Have you ever had a fire cannon?

Undergrunt Gunner: Nah.

P.T.: How does your helmet change color when you’re mad?

Undergrunt Gunner: It’s a mood helmet.

P.T.: Time for EXTREME AUDIENCE QUESTIONS!

Mii T.: Dare I ask why you added “Extreme”?

P.T.: Seat WRESTLER!

Nacho: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

(His seat explodes.)

Mii T.: 0_0

P.T.: Seat HOWONPLITDIDYOUFITINTHISTHEATERLETALONEYOURCHAIR!

Megaleg (operated by Bowser Jr): You work for my dad, right?

Undergrunt Gunner: No.

(Megaleg explodes, then when Bowser lands in his chair, it explodes.)

Mii T.: WHY ARE ALL THE SEATS BLOWING UP?!

P.T.: Did I not say extreme audience questions?

Mii T.: YOU’RE INSANE!

P.T.: Your face is insane. Seat EVILFROG.

Wart: I herd you liek mudkipz.

(Undergrunt Gunner shoots Wart.)

Wart: Ha! I fear no bubbles!

Mii T.: Are you colorblind? That’s the electric cannon!

(An electric ball shocks Wart. He’s severely beaten if not dead.)

Mii T.: Morbid.

(Then his seat explodes.)

Mii T.: If he wasn’t dead before, now he has to be. Um, seat IHADANAPPEARANCEINMARIOPINBALL.

Koopatrol: Why are you blue?

Undergrunt Gunner: Fur dye.

(The Koopatrol’s seat explodes.)

Mii T.: Run while you still can!

(Everyone else leaves the house.)

Mii T.: End Transmission!

P.T.: Hey!

(Transmission Ended.)

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