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DOUBLE G GOOMBA, KOOPA 13, AND CHOMPY interview KING BOO
 
By koopa 13 and Double G Goomba

Koopa 13: Come, guys, it’s about to start!

TV: We now return to Counter Strike TV.

Man: Headshot.

(laugh track)

Women: Honey, you’re not listening to me. My mother is coming over in a few hours and I don’t know what to cook.

Man: Killing spree.

Women: I want a divorce.

Lemmy: Get up, it’s Interview time.

G.G: No! Wer’e rebels, we refuse to obey you.

(Suddenly the TV starts to float in midair and vanishes.)

Koopa 13: *sigh* Sorry, we have no choice.

Chompy: Ugh.

G.G: So who are we interviewing?

???: Hehehehehehehe! I’ve been waiting for a time to use this. Knock knock!

Koopa 13: What? What? Who’s there?

???: Boo.

Koopa 13: WOAH!

G.G: Boo who?

(King Boo appears.)

King Boo: King Boo, bwahahahahahahahahahaha!

Chompy: Huh?

G.G: You’re a moron.

King Boo: Stupid is as stupid says.

Koopa 13: Whatever, let’s get the show on the road. How did you, King Boo, become the king of ghosts?

King Boo: Well my family has been ruler of Boos for many years, ever since my father Biggus Boo the Third.

G.G: Do you work for Bowser?

King Boo: No. We Boos are our own monarchy. Some Boos work for him but those are usually the ones we don’t accept into our clan.

Chompy: Bark bark?

G.G: He says how come you were helping Bowser in Super Mario 64 DS?

King Boo: He came to me because he was impressed that I was actually able to beat Mario. So he begged me to join.

Koopa 13: What’s with the different and way smaller look in Luigi’s Mansion?

King Boo: We Boos can change our size to our liking, like so.

(King Boo changes to half the size of the studio.)

King Boo: I’m scary, fear me now!

Audience: …

G.G: Anyway, do you consider Mario your enemy?

King Boo: No, I’m more of Luigi’s enemy than I am Mario’s. He’s scared of me but he has the only thing capable of defeating me, a vacuum cleaner.

G.G: A vacuum?

King Boo: Yeah, we aren’t exactly heavy, being ghosts and all, so we are an easy target for vacuums. I can’t tell you how many vacuums I’ve been sucked into while visiting hotels on vacation.

Chompy: Bark bark?

G.G: He says how come you were able to be hit in different games when you can turn invisible?

King Boo: I thought Mario would let his guard down if I came up behind him, but I guess It’s hard to anticipate a move from a moron.

Mario: Guess what I’m gonna do!

(Mario is seen holding a cement block over his head.)

G.G: You’re gonna drop that on your head?

Mario: No.

(Mario adds it to a giant wall surrounding him)

Mario: I’m making this wall to keep them Mongolians out of my city.

G.G: Mongolians? There are no Mongo-

(Mongolians bust through the door and break down Mario’s wall.)

Mario: Stupid Mongolians, knocking down my city wall…

G.G: Hold that thought. It’s time to check the Brawl update.

(G.G. pulls out a laptop.)

Lemmy: Where did you get that?

G.G: Found it.

(On the back the words “Property of Ludwig” are seen on it.)

Koopa 13: Let me see. It seems to be this strange ninja…

G.G: What?! They moved the release date?

Chompy: Oh no.

Koopa 13: Well I wonder what Roy has to say about this.

(Roy is seen blowing up Mario’s wall.)

Mario: Stupid Roy knocking down my wall…

G.G: Oh, gotta keep calm… *sigh* Ok then, back to this.

Koopa 13: How did you trap Luigi in that door-like thing?

King Boo: Oh, that was easy, I got him when he least expected it, in the bathroom.

G.G: You’re gross.

Chompy: Bark bark.

G.G: He says is it true that Bow is your daughter?

King Boo: Yes.

G.G: You are aware she helped out Mario, right?

King Boo: Yes.

G.G: …

Chompy: …

Koopa 13: …

G.G: And you let her do this because…?

King Boo: I told you I don’t like Bowser, he tried to conquer the world that should belong to me. And she helped redeem our tribe by beating him to a pulp.

Koopa 13: You do not like Bowser one bit, but why did you use that fake Bowser against Luigi?

King Boo: It was originally to mock him, but then I decided to use him to scare Luigi. But it became my down fall, plus it felt like I was his king and he was my servant.

Bowser: Nobody controls the mighty King Bowser!

Clawdia: Come.

Bowser: Ok.

G.G: Right, audience time. If I hear any stupid quotes comments or anything Like stupidity I’ll use my newest technique on you. Seat 67.

Ruff Puff: What were you doing in the hotel in Super Mario Sunshine?

King Boo: Well after losing to Luigi I decided to take a little vacation with my Boo Crew. Little did I know Mario was already there, and he ruined my vacation.

Ruff Puff: Weren’t you there to haunt the place and cause mischief and mayhem?

King Boo: No, those stupid Piantas just jumped to conclusions and assumed we were there to do just that, but we just came for a little relaxation.

G.G: Seat 5.

Francis: High technicaaaaaaaaal!

(G.G. throws a stamp on Francis’s forehead that imprints the word Noob on his head.)

G.G: HA! Just try going out in public with that on your head.

Francis: Ner, you’re horrible!

G.G: You want another one, Noob?

Francis: …

G.G: Good, seat 34.

Wario: Why do you not like peppers?

King Boo: Why wouldn’t I? They’re very spicy and almost as awful as me, almost.

G.G: Seat 4.

Naruto: Beli-

(G.G, holds up his stamp again in a threatening manner.)

Naruto: Never mind.

G.G: Seat 29.

Putrid Piranha: Why did you team up with Petey Piranha in Double Dash?

King Boo: He hates Bowser as much as I do, enough said.

G.G: Last seat, seat 86.

Clubba: Why do you constantly change the location of your haunted mansion?

King Boo: Well my original one was the one in Forever Forest, but since Luigi and Mario are all over the place I always have to create new mansions close by them so I can have a base of operations to defeat them from.

Clubba: Don’t you thinks that’s a waste of time?

(King Boo shoots a laser beam from his mouth and blows the Clubba to ash.)

G.G: Woah! That was cool. Now can I have my TV back?

King Boo: I’ll do you one better, for interviewing me you get the new Boo TV.

(A TV in the form of a Boo comes in its place.)

G.G: Oh cool! This one is even better then the first one. It looks so real it looks like the things on TV can just come out at you.

Captain Falcon: FALCON… PUNCH!!!

(A fist comes out of the TV and sends G.G. out the window.)

King Boo: Hahahahahahaha! I love doing that. END TRANSMISSION!

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