FWOOM!
Musical Guy: In the deep depths of Shwonk Fortress… Argh! I’m fired! … Sigh… To the studio to get my job back…
30 minutes later...
Musical Guy: WHERE IS THE STUDIO?! I’ve checked everywhere but the room that has the word “Studio” on it! Well, let’s check that room out, but I’m doubtful…
(No one can narrate, so let’s just say stuff happens.)
Musical Guy: FINALLY I find you guys!
Shrugger, Y-Naut, Mrs. I, Pit, Goomboss, and Thwomp 64: Hi.
Musical Guy: Hey, wait a second! How did Shrugger, Goomboss, and Thwomp 64 speak in lowercase letters?
Shrugger, Goomboss, and Thwomp 64: BECAUSE WE FELT LIKE IT.
Musical Guy: … Anyway, can I have my job back?
Y-Naut: So we can fire you again at the end of the show? Sure!
(Yes! … Wait a second! Is this another show?)
Y-Naut: Yep. We’re interviewing Thwomp 64!
(WELL, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?)
Y-Naut: Because I didn’t feel like it.
(… Of course… Anyway, last time on… Lemmy crashes from out of nowhere again in another rocket.)
Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview Show!
Goomboss: I’LL HANDLE THIS. SUPERJEFF64-INSPIRED ATTACK! ROYAL BEAM!
BOOM!
Lemmy (in orbit): Looks like Team Lemmy’s blasted off again!
(…The Shrugger’s Interview Show, we finally got a plot! Also, Goomboss joined the team!)
Shrugger: FIRST QUESTION! WHAT, BASICALLY, ARE YOU?
Thwomp 64: WE FLOATING CHUNKS OF ROCK.
Y-Naut: How are you alive?
Thwomp 64: MAGIKOOPAS MADE FIRST THWOMP ALIVE. TRAIT PASSED DOWN THROUGH GENERATIONS.
(How do you give birth?)
Thwomp 64: AS THWOMPS GO SMASH, SOME ROCK BREAKS OFF THWOMP. ROCK BUNCH UP AND BECOME THWIMP. AS THWIMPS GO SMASH, ROCK GETS ADDED, AND THWIMP BECOME THWOMP.
Mrs. I: How did Mrs. Thwomp get spherical?
Thwomp 64: MRS. THWIMP GO ROLLY ROLLY. IT TURN HER SPHERICAL, AND THE CONDITION CONTINUED WHEN MRS. THWIMP BECOME MRS. THWOMP.
Pit: Wow. Ever since the intro, there has been no filler. Anyway, how do Thwomps move?
Thwomp 64: MAJOR DUH. TELEPATHY. ANOTHER THING THE MAGIKOOPAS GAVE US.
Goomboss: ISN’T TELEPATHY MOSTLY UNLIMITED?
Thwomp 64: I AM OF THE SAYING YESNESS.
Shrugger: AAHH!!! ANOTHER FAWFUL!!!
(Shrugger blows up and his ashes become Iggy and Kamek because the author decided to like them. Goomboss puts them in seats DIZZY and ONLYMALEROYALMAGIKOOPA, respectively. Oh, and then Shrugger comes into the studio, completely reformed, because he’s the author… $%@$!#! Fawful’s ghost then comes out of Thwomp 64. Wow, this is a long narration.)
Fawful’s Ghost: I am of the being disappointed. You fink-rats were of the finding me out. BUT I STILL AM OF THE WANTING TO NARRATE!!!
(Fawful’s ghost flies into seat GHOSTOFDEMENTEDBEAN.)
Goomboss: … IS THE MARCH OF THE MORONS OVER?
(Mario, Bowser, Petey Piranha, Yoshi, and several other people walk by the camera carrying signs that say “Nope.”)
Goomboss: THEN I’LL WAIT.
One week later…
…
(Oh. O’Chunks walks by with a sign saying “We’re done.”)
Goomboss: … TO CONTINUE MY QUESTION FROM A WEEK AGO, THEN WHY CAN’T ALL THWOMPS MOVE ANY DIRECTION?
Thwomp 64: WE CAN. IT’S JUST THAT BOWSER ORDERED US TO MOVE THE WAY WE MOVED.
Shrugger: AUDIENCE QUESTIONS!!!
(… Um, Shrugger?)
Shrugger: WHAT?
(… There’s only three audience members.)
Shrugger: 7+3=10, SO WE’LL BE OK! SEAT ONLYMALEROYALMAGIKOOPA!
Kamek: How fast are Thwomps?
Thwomp 64: IF THWOMPS GO DOWN, 50 MPH. IF THWOMPS GO UP, 10 MPH. IF THWOMPS GO FROM SIDE TO SIDE, 1,000 MPH MAX.
Shrugger: 0_0
Y-Naut: 0_0
(0_0)
Kamek: 0_0
The Entirety of the Gateway Galaxy: 0_0
Existence: 0_0
Y-Naut: … Wow. Seat DIZZY!
Iggy: Who was the first Thwomp?
Thwomp 64: MR. THWOMP.
Pit: FINAL QUESTION! SEAT GHOSTOFDEMENTEDBEAN!
Fawful’s Ghost: I am of the asking how the volcano of Thwompness was made.
Thwomp 64: THWOMP VOLCANO WAS WHERE THE MAGIKOOPAS MADE THE FIRST THWOMPS. THE THWOMPS THAT MADE UP THE TERRAIN WERE THE FAILED MODELS, AND THE LAVA WAS THE RESULT OF A SPELL.
Shrugger: FOR THE FOURTH TIME ON THE SHOW, MUSICAL GUY, YOU’RE FIRED FOR NO REASON AT ALL…
Musical Guy: Shucks.
Shrugger: AND END TRANSMISSION!
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