Lord Crump: Second Interview, dog!
JOHNNY: Ha, we rule.
Lord Crump: Who’s the sick dog we’re interviewing, man?
JOHNNY: Bring him on, we’ve got questions to last us thirty years of interviewing.
zz1666: Actually you two aren’t doing the Interview.
Lord Crump and JOHNNY: We’re not?!
Lord Crump: Yo man, we’re like your favorite characters, dude.
JOHNNY: Aye, and ye put us in 83.6 percent of your work, lad.
zz1666: Two things. One, why do you try to talk like a pirate? And two, since when did you become a math geek?
Lord Crump: The dude has a point, man.
JOHNNY: Just tell me, lad, who’s interviewing... what’s his face?
zz1666: For comical and strange reasons, Gus is.
Gus (backstage): Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Lord Crump: This stinks, man.
JOHNNY: Aye, it does. lad.
zz1666: You can grab seats in the audience.
Lord Crump: But I’m used to the big seat, dog.
JOHNNY: Aye, the lad is right.
zz1666: Wait, why’s Gus sleeping on the job?
Lord Crump: Yo dog, that means we are interviewing, man.
JOHNNY: Oh yeah!
(JOHNNY’s spear hits Gus.)
Gus: Waaaah!
zz1666: Good, you’re awake, now go do an Interview!
Gus: Who am I interviewing?
zz1666: Dark Craw.
Lord Crump: Yo dog, where is he?
JOHNNY: He’s not here.
Backstage...
Dark Craw: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
(Gus stabs him.)
Dark Craw: Fools!
Gus: You’ve got to do an Interview!
Dark Craw: Fine.
(The two walk out onto stage, while zz1666 is tossing Lord Crump and JOHNNY into the audience.)
Dark Craw: Hi world, I’m interviewing this mortal, Goose. So Goose, what was your game appearance?
Gus: I was only in-
Dark Craw: Cool, so you admit I’m more popular.
Gus: I never said-
Dark Craw: This mortal is agreeing quickly, I like it.
zz1666: Stop! Gus, you’re supposed to interview Dark Crawl, not the other way around!
Gus: Oh snap!
Dark Craw: You foolish mortal!
zz1666: I’m not a mortal, I’m a Bandana Blue!
Dark Craw: Whatever!
Gus: Time to start the Interview. So Gus, what species are you?
Dark Craw: I am a Koopa that lost its shell.
Gus: Word on the bathroom is people don’t think we’re related. Prove to everyone we are.
Dark Crawl: Buh? Why would I be related to a foolish mortal like you?
Gus: Do we not look alike?
Dark Craw: I’ll admit that, but I am from the underworld. I have... supernatural powers.
Gus: Oh, what?
Dark Craw: I can read minds.
Gus: What am I thinking now?
Dark Craw: That this is a stupid Interview.
Gus: Wrong, I’m thinking about pie.
Dark Craw: Yeah, well I can also summon a plague of Swampires.
Gus: Prove it.
Dark Craw: ... Fine, I’ll admit, I don’t have supernatural powers. But I am still not related to you because my family is made up of Dark Koopas and Dark Paratroopas. That’s why we hang out in the underworld.
Gus: So why did you leave?
Dark Craw: When I heard they opened up a fighting arena, Glitzville, the underworld wanted one member to go up there and show the underworld’s strength. I won the tournament, so I went to Glitzville.
Gus: Cool, so what exactly did you do in the underworld?
Dark Craw: I guarded the gate and dragged any foolish mortal that came by into the underworld.
Gus: How many “mortals” do you drag into the underworld every day?
Dark Craw: Usually one or two, more if I get lucky.
Gus: So why do you use a spear? Wouldn’t you like a better and more high-tech weapon?
Dark Craw: This spear has been passed down to me from ten generations.
Gus: Cool. So zz, how many questions have I asked?
zz1666: I don’t know, five.
Gus: That means it’s time for questions from the audience. How about you in seat 19?
Rawk Hawk: How come you’re not number one in the Glitz Pit, huh Mr. Tough Guy From The Underworld?
Dark Craw: Fine, I’ll admit you foolish mortals are stronger than I thought.
Gus: You in seat 2.
Macho Grubber: How many attack points do you have?
Dark Craw: Six.
Macho Grubber: Hah, that’s more than yours, Rawk!
Rawk Hawk: I’m still stronger!
Gus: Seat 12.
Goombella: Have you ever been to school?
Dark Crawl: I’m no mortal, school matters nothing.
Gus: Time for one last question. Seat... 24.
Pennington: What’s your favorite thing about being from the underworld?
Dark Craw: Finally you mortals ask a question worth giving a good answer! My favorite part is watching foolish mortals cry when I drag them into the underworld.
Gus: Interview over! Finally!
zz1666: Nice job, Gus. Now would you like to do another Interview?
Gus: Are you crazy?! I lost valuable time for doing nothing! I’m going to sleep!
zz1666: How about you, Dark Craw?
Dark Crawl: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
zz1666: I guess you two will do the next Interview.
JOHNNY: Yes!
Lord Crump: Thanks a lot, dog!
zz1666: ... If I have another Interview.
JOHNNY: NO!
Lord Crump: No dog, no!
zz1666: Heh heh, end transmission.
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