Mii T.: Shrike, or Bill, or whatever, the doctor will be here in a few minutes, but P.T. wants you to interview, since you’re technically a new character to be a potential interviewer. And P.T. will help because his phone lines are down, so he can’t mess around online.
Meanwhile...
P.T.: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Meanwhile...
Shrikbill: Okay.
Soon...
Shrikbill: Hello! I am Shrikbill! For the readers of this submission, I’m a Shroob Rex with a Dry Bones skull stuck on my head, fusing both souls together! Because recently Bill’s head landed on my body. I am both of them mixed together!
P.T.: We don’t want to hear your life story! Just bring her out!
(Rosalina appears.)
P.T.: Okay… Shrikbill, you go first because I’m your boss!
Shrikbill: Okay. Got any money?
Rosalina: Excuse me?!
Shrikbill: Sorry, I’m one-half Bill the Dry Bones. Okay, since the image of the tree your mom’s dead under-
Rosalina: Did you have to put it that way?
Shrikbill: That’s the Bill part of me. Bill! Get some manners! No! Oh great, now I look crazy by talking to you, making everyone think I’m talking to myself! Well if SOMEONE hadn’t punched me… GAH! Anyway, judging by the building in the background when we saw the picture of the tree you liked, does that mean you are originally Plitian?
Rosalina: Yes.
P.T.: … Wait, you find a Luma crashed in a ship outside, and after a while, you’re space royalty?
Rosalina: … Yes…
P.T.: I’m off! You’ll have to take this Interview, Shrikbill!
(P.T. runs away, taking Mii T. with him. They’re in an open field.)
Mii T.: What are we doing?
P.T.: Becoming important space people! We just need to find a crashed spaceship…
Mii T.: I’m sick of being dragged along into your subplot antics.
Meanwhile...
Shrikbill: What became of all the stuff you brought with you when you and Luma left Plit?
Rosalina: The telescope is in the Terrace Dome, the bunny doll is under my pillow in the Bedroom Dome, and all the other stuff is in the Kitchen Dome.
Shrikbill: Why aren’t you acting ridiculous like most characters right now? That’s not an official question, I’m just curious.
Rosalina: Now that the author started adding subplots, the more serious interviewees don’t have to be dumbed down anymore. Plus with your split personality…
(Meanwhile, P.T. and Mii T. are still looking. Fortunately, a ship crashes- on Gourmet Guy’s head, and the two approach.)
Luma (inside ship): Hi! I’m Bib! Will you help me find my mama?
P.T.: Do I look like a bloodhound?
Mii T.: What does she look like?
Bib: I don’t know…
Mii T.: Why not just fix the ship and we can search ourselves?
P.T.: I’d rather we just fix the ship and search ourselves.
Mii T.: … I’ll go get a toolkit.
P.T.: Hmm. This could take a while, so we’ll need to pack stuff. Like ice cream!
Meanwhile...
Shrikbill: Now do you have money? I mean, mind explaining your family? We only got a few mentions of them.
Rosalina: I had a mother who was very nice, but she got a Game Over. I had a father who was nice, and a little clumsy. And I had a slightly older twin brother who was nice.
Shrikbill: BORING! I mean, okay. How did you get your new suit and wand?
Rosalina: Magic.
Shrikbill: How did you meet Polari?
Rosalina: He was with all the Lumas that were arguing over whose Mama I was. He was looking after them and came out after the part in the book.
Meanwhile...
Mii T.: AAAAHHH!!! LET ME DOWN! LET ME DOWN! I WANNA GO BACK!
P.T.: We haven’t even started moving.
Mii T.: Sorry, I’m afraid of heights.
Bib presses the “On” button, and the ship takes off. Mii T. is spazzing out the whole time. Meanwhile...
Shrikbill: Why are you mostly emotionless now that you’re an adult?
Rosalina: I’ve matured. I still have emotion.
Shrikbill: Sure you do… What’s your favorite dome? Wait, don’t answ-
Rosalina: The Garden.
Shrikbill: You answered! Would you rather have your life as is, or still on Plit with your dad and brother?
Rosalina: This one. But don’t think I don’t miss my family.
Meanwhile...
P.T.: Aw cripes, I forgot the pizza.
Bib: That’s okay! There’s always Star Bits!
Mii T.: I’m allergic.
Bib: Oh. Stinks to be you two.
Meanwhile...
Shrikbill: How did the Comet Observatory come back from the black hole?
Rosalina: The Lumas stopped the black hole in time.
Shrikbill: Do you like Mario?
Rosalina: On a platonic level, yes.
Shrikbill: Okay.
Meanwhile...
P.T.: We’re here! On a lovely green-colored planet.
Other Luma: Hey, I want that guy to be MY daddy!
Bib: Well he’s mine, so there!
Other Luma: Mine!
Bib: Mine!
P.T.: Kids, easy! There’s enough Piranha to go around.
(More Lumas appear.)
P.T.: Oooohh… Okay, the rest of you are now Mii T.’s children.
Mii T.: What? Don’t I even get a wife?! I’m not ready for this responsibility!
(Mii T. faints.)
P.T.: Hmm, I wonder what my mom’s doing right now… Eh, I don’t care.
Bib: Aww, is she dead?
P.T.: What? No! Okay, forget this! You’re all going to an adoption place! Mii T., wake up! We’re going back home!
Mii T.: Aww, I was starting to see the fun in parenthood…
Meanwhile...
Shrikbill: Okay, we’re all done here.
P.T.: We’re back!
Bogmire: Shrikbill, the doctor died on the way here. Oh, and P.T.’s phone lines are back.
P.T.: Happies! GameFAQs, here I come!
(P.T. heads to the Super Smash Bros. Brawl message board on GameFAQs. Yes, I actually go there.)
Rosalina: I can fix him.
(She taps Shrikbill with her wand, and Shrikbill is now Shrike and Bill again.)
Shrike: Happies! I don’t have to share a soul and body with that greedy skeleton again.
Bill: But now I’m just a skull again.
P.T.: Don’t worry, we saved your body. It’s in the cooler with the root beer.
Bill: … If you can separate a soul and body, can you produce money?
Rosalina: Don’t push it.
(She leaves.)
Bill: …
Shrike: I think I still have some Bill in me, because I can’t stop staring at that penny on the floor…
P.T.: Oh, what’s the worst that could happen? End Transmission!
(Transmission Ended.)
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