Author’s Note No One Cares About: Happies! It’s the Christmas Special!
Note That The Author’s Not Using: No one cares.
ANNOCA: That’s not nice!
NTTANU: Well the big dummy actually figured something out!
The two notes get into a fight. Meanwhile...
P.T.: Okay, Interview DAD says that today we have to interview Bouldergeist.
Bill: Who’s Interview DAD?
P.T.: The God of Interviews.
Shrike: You made that up, didn’t you?
P.T.: So what?
Lemmy: Guys, King Dad is forcing me to invite you all to our Christmas barbecue.
Shrike: Barbecue?
Lemmy: What do you think we do with the coal we get from Santa?
Spike: Zzzzzzzz…
Punchy: I thought he didn’t exist.
Lemmy: I don’t know, but he does in our dimension, so just go or I’ll kill you all!
Bogmire: Why does he even want us to come?
Lemmy: He gets terribly lonely. Now someone interview!
P.T.: Bogmire, you interview!
Bogmire: Fine.
Mii T.: This is all going to end in tears…
Soon...
Bogmire: Today, I’m interviewing my cousin, Bouldergeist!
Mii T.: So your dad is the Black Jewel, your mom is an unknown thing that you are the same species as, your dad’s brother is Zant, your dad’s sister is the Shadow Queen, your dad’s other sister is the White Jewel from The Quest, your brother is Smogmire, and now your cousin is Bouldergeist?
Bogmire: Yes. And don’t forget my other brother, Logmire. He’s a lumberjack.
Mii T.: Boy you have a big family filled with lots of official game characters and made up people.
(Mii T. leaves.)
Bogmire: So Bouldergeist, why did you kidnap Luigi?
Bouldergeist: He was meddling around on my property! HE HAD TO PAY!
Bogmire: Oookaaay… How come he wasn’t seen after Mario beat you, then?
Bouldergeist: What?! He must’ve got away!
(Meanwhile…)
P.T.: Okay, even though this principle will probably never apply in the future, we’ll be traveling for days to get to Dark Land, so we should probably think of things to pack… Any ideas?
Bill: Money!
P.T.: Honey?
Bill: Money!
P.T.: Bunnies?
Bill: MONEY, YOU IDIOT!
P.T.: Okay, you can bring your bunnies, just stop yelling! I’ll go check with Spike.
Meanwhile...
Bogmire: Why did you use stone for armor? Wouldn’t it have been better to use metal?
Bouldergeist: Tell me: Was there much metal in my part of the galaxy?
Bogmire: No…
Bouldergeist: And there you go!
(Bouldergeist crushes Bogmire with one of his hands.)
Bogmire: Ow! That hurt!
Bouldergeist: That’d be the point, smart one!
Bogmire: Okay, now since you’re not really a rock thing, what are you?
Bouldergeist: I’m a ghost.
Bogmire: … What kind?
Bouldergeist: Just a ghost! Like those orange, blue, and green monsters in Luigi’s Mansion!
Bogmire: You know those were just paintings-
Bouldergeist: Not all of them! The ones in the games were just paintings, but they actually exist, too! Why do you think some appeared in Starbeans Café?
Bogmire: Okay, then.
Meanwhile...
P.T.: Punchy, Shrike, what do you think we should bring?
Shrike: Since the principle of Dark Land being days from Toad Town won’t be applied in your future works, why should it be applied here?
P.T.: Pitiful excuse for a subplot.
Shrike and Punchy: Ah.
Meanwhile...
Bogmire: How did you come back to life when the Daredevil Comet came?
Bouldergeist: The Daredevil Comet revived me!
Bogmire: Audience Questions! Seat ICEMONSTER.
Bonechill: Why didn’t you use stone fists from the beginning?
Bouldergeist: Because I only just learned how to do that!
Bogmire: Seat WHATHAPPENEDTOTHESUBPLOT.
Paragloomba: What happened to the subplot?
Bogmire: Just ask about my cousin.
Paragloomba: Do you think you deserved more appearances?
Bouldergeist: YES!
Bogmire: That’s about it, bye!
Later...
Mii T.: So we’re here. Now what?
P.T.: I don’t know.
Bogmire: Why did you bring the camera? And why is it still on?
P.T.: I blame Punchy.
Punchy: What’d I do?!
(Out of anger, Punchy punches Bill, causing his skull to land on Shrike’s head, fusing them.)
Shrikbill: …
Spike: … We’ll need to fix that. Not me, I’m lazy. End transmission!
(Transmission Ended.)
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