(It's a dark, stormy night. Kammy and interview crew, audience, and Playful are in Kammy's basement. Then there's a flash of lightning and the power goes off)
Kammy: Of course! We go in the basement, and the power goes off. Roy, there's a spider on your leg.
Roy: EEEEK! SPIDER! GET-
(Iggy's camera flashes, illuminating Roy shrieking and no icky spider on his leg.)
(Roy runs after Iggy, ready to choke him.)
Iggy: Not gonna happen, big brother! I gots me some blackmail material!
Larry: Hey! That's my job!
Roy: Wha-
Kammy: Let's get out of this basement and film upstairs. Then you nimrods can continue arguing.
Larry: Works for me!
()
(Kammy and Co. climb up the stairs. Kammy pushes the door at the top. The door does not open.)
Kammy: The door won't open!
(We get the point. I just said that.)
Kammy: Wait, didn't you just say that?
Grr...
Kammy: Okay, okay I'm done! *snicker*
Roy: Snicker?
Kammy: Whatever. THE DOOR WON"T OPEN!
Roy: Girls... They can't even open a pickle jar these days.
Wendy: Neither can you!
Roy: Whatever.
Kammy: OPEN THE DOOR, YOU DIPSTICK!
(Roy pushes up to the door and tries to open it. The door doesn't open.)
Kammy: Looks like we'll have to film down here. Camera Shy Guy, do you have night vision on that thing?
Camera Shy Guy: Yessir!
Kammy: Turn the camera on when I start talking, okay? No, not now, you birdbrain, we're live!
(She pushes through half of the crowd, down to an armchair with springs coming out of it.)
Kammy: (pushing Morton) Outta my way, fat boy.
Kamek: Why did we even go into the basement in the first place?
Kammy: I dunno.
Kamek: Huh?
Kammy: Exactly. Who's my next interviewee... Already done Kamek, Morton talks too much... How about... Playful!
Playful: Dear DAD, NO! NO! NO!!!
Kammy: Too bad, kitty cat.
(Kammy pulls Playful into a chair and puts her cat's collar on Playful.)
Playful: Get me outta here!
(Playful tries to run away... then yowls in pain.)
Kammy: Electric collar. Now get back in that chair or I'll buzz you again.
(Playful runs as fast as he can-)
Gingerbread Man: Run. Run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me, I'm-
Kammy: Dead.
(Kammy eats the Gingerbread Man)
Gingerbread Man (from Kammy's esophagus): Cookies have feelings too! *cries*
Kammy: I've eaten worse. So... back to the Interview.
Playful: You never started the Interview, so technically you're not going back to the Intervi- YOW!
Kammy: Ha ha.... Did you get to Koopa Castle first? Or did Bagels?
Playful: Bagels came when Bowser wanted a guard dog to keep me away from his throne. And I have a question for you.
In a beautiful meadow, far, far away...
Bella (Kammy's cat): Freedom, sweet freedom!
(An angry zebra pops out of the ground.)
Bella: Hey! I can talk!
Angry-Looking Zebra: No dip, Sherlock.
In Kammy's basement...
Kammy: So... Playful. Have you enjoyed your days with the Royal Koopa Family?
Playful: No, unless you count Clawdia's tuna fish casserole.
Kammy: In Karma Koopa's Fun Fictions, it suggest that you basically live in her room. Is this true?
Playful: Her room and Wendy's room. Wendy has a nice beanbag chair that's entertaining to shred. I do believe that she still thinks that Larry did that to her chair, though.
Larry: Hey!
Kammy: I'm gonna need more of those collars. And may I ask Wendy a questi-
Playful: No.
Crickets: CHIRP!
Kammy: I'm getting sick of those things. Although I needed them to get rid of Hooktail.
In a beautiful meadow, far, far away...
Bella: How do you like me now?
(Angry-Looking Zebra's legs are tied all together.)
Angry-Looking Zebra: Angry-looking zebras have feelings too! *cries*
(Hooktail appears out of nowhere.)
Bella: So this is where Hooktail went! I mean, JEEPERS!
Back to Kammy's basement...
Kammy: I'm gonna start asking more real questions! Yippee for me! In Lemmy's Bios (located in Mortons Basics, go to the bottom of Morton's Bios and you're there), it mentions in Iggy's bio that he has cats also. What do you think of his kitties?
Playful: They're mere pawns in the complex game of chess that is my life.
Kammy: English, please?
Playful: I order 'em around a lot, and ignore them.
Kammy: That's nice. *glances at notepad* Which one of the Koopalings do you hate the most and why?
Playful: Probably Ludwig. Usually when he's in the castle, Karma will end up stomping to her room, waking me up during my beauty sleep, and throwing silver rings at me. It's rude and uncalled for.
Kammy: That's... great. Do you have any severe allergic reactions to food you can find in the Koopa Family's refrigerator?
Playful: Who's asking?
Kammy: The Koopalings were just wondering.
Playful: No comment.
Kammy: Dang. What was the last practical joke you played on the Koopalings?
Playful: Spreading oil across the floor of the gym before one of his Sports Hall matches.
Kammy: Wouldn't he notice?
Playful: He's no Ludwig.
Kammy: What about everyone else?
Playful: They're no Ludwig, either.
Kammy: I thought you hated Ludwig.
Playful: Whatever.
Kammy: Okey-dokey then. How did you end up living with the Royal Koopa Family?
Playful: Iggy picked me up when I was surveying my property.
Kammy: Your property?
Playful: Indeed. I would have given him the Death Stare of Death, but I was greatly weakened by the demise of my pet goldfish, Princess.
Kammy: You ate him, didn't you?
Playful: Yes, he was very.... salty. Anyhow, soon after they had abducted me, they realized that I could speak Mushlander (the language that Toads, Yoshis, and Koopas all speak) quite fluently. My coronation as King Royal Cat soon followed.
Kammy: Does Bowser send you to the dungeon? Or do they have some kinda kitty dungeon?
Playful: Bowser would send me to the dungeon if it weren't for Clawdia. If Clawdia isn't around, then I do get sent to the dungeon. And NO, there is no "kitty dungeon".
Kammy: What are your thoughts on King Bowser Koopa?
Playful: He's not as forceful, as demanding, or as cruel as I would be if I were on the throne. But, he grills excellent salmon!
Kammy: How did your obsession with fish start?
Playful: As soon as Wendy took me on a boat ride. I put on a snorkel!
Kammy: What about cats' fear of water?
Playful: That went down the toilet with Iggy's cats.
Larry: Ha ha! I got that on a recorder! This is blackmail material!
(Larry rushes upstairs and runs into the door. That looks painful.)
Kammy: I hope he realizes that this is being on a video camera anyway.
Playful: Doubt it.
Kammy: Audience questions! Seat... uh... that one! *points*
Bowser: Are you planning to be in any video games?
Playful: I already have. In Super Mario Sunshine, off to the water in Delfino Plaza near the statue of the Pianta, there was a pineapple sitting on a tower. I was eating-
Kammy: Fish.
Playful: Yes. I was eating fish behind the pineapple.
Kammy: Why?
Playful: I stowed away in Bowser Jr's backpack. I figured that since it was a tropical island there'd be plenty of-
Kammy: Fish.
Playful: -to eat.
Kammy: Seat 24.
Susan: Are you a boy or a girl kitty cat?
(Playful knocks Kammy out of her chair and starts destroying Susan's face.)
Kammy: Oh DAD.
(The audience claps, watching Playful maul Susan.)
Kammy: I think we'll leave it at that. Playful, gimme the collar.
(She swipes the collar from Playful. Then Bella appears out of nowhere.)
Kammy: My cat's back!
(Bella shivers and sits down at Kammy's feet.)
Bella: There was an angry zebra, and a meadow! An-AND then Hooktail came and he scared the BAJEEPERS outta me!!!
Kammy: End Transmission.
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