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BONES AND KIRBY interview REX
 
By Lord Shyguy and Black Yoshi 99

Lord Shyguy: Let me get this straight. I'm interviewing with a Yoshi?

Bones: Yes, sir.

Lord Shyguy: YOU WILL CALL ME MASTER, NOT SIR, SLAVE!!!

Bones: Sorry, Master...

(Black Yoshi 99 walks into the room with Big close behind. Big has a ball and chain tied to his stilts and his leg.))

Black Yoshi: HAHAHA!!! Time to die, fool!

Lord Shyguy: Big Guy the Stilted?! BOW DOWN TO ME, MINION!!!

Big: ... Okay...

Black Yoshi 99: HE’S MY SLAVE- I mean, uh, crew member! Yeah! Don't bow down to anyone other than me!

Big: ... Okay...

Lord Shyguy: But he’s a Shyguy! HE’S MINE!!!

(Black Yoshi 99 and Lord Shyguy get into a cartoon cloud fight.)

Black Yoshi 99: (still fighting) AAAAAHHHHHH!!! MY DENTURES!!!

Lord Shyguy: (also still fighting) HAHAHAHAHA!!! Old man!

(Kirby suddenly appears.)

Kirby: Vial, vial!

(The fight stops.)

Black Yoshi 99: Grr... By any chance, would you like to be my new slave- I mean, uh... minion, no, uh, lackey? Whoops.

(Kirby shakes his head violently.)

Kirby: Vial vial!!!

Black Yoshi 99: I take that as a yes!

(Kirby holds up a sign with Black Yoshi 99's head crossed out.)

Kirby: VIAL VI-VIAL!!!

Bubby: Aren't you supposed to be interviewing, Master?

Lord Shyguy: Yes, I am. What is Bones doing?!

Bubby: This is going to be bloody. Hey Big, come here.

Big: Yeah, what?

Bubby: Let’s leave.

Big: ... Okay...

(The pair leaves.)

Lord Shyguy: BONES!!!

Bones: Yes?

Lord Shyguy: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Bones: Just talking to Kirby.

Kirby: Vial, vial vial!!!

Black Yoshi 99: Welcome to the crew, Kirby!

(A cage falls on Kirby, and Black Yoshi 99 puts a ball and chain where Kirby’s leg should be.)

Lord Shyguy: Wait, Bones, can you understand Kirby?

Bones: Yes.

Lord Shyguy: Then you and Kirby can interview!

Bones: What?

Lord Shyguy: (in a caveman voice) You, Kirby, interview. Does me need to repeat?

Bones: No...

Lord Shyguy: (in normal voice) Good!

Bones: Who is in the unfortunate position of being the interviewee?

Black Yoshi 99 and Lord Shyguy (in unison): The squishable, squashable, great slave, Rex!

Rex: Hey, how is it going- I am not a great slave!

Lord Shyguy: Too bad. Have fun!

(Black Yoshi and Lord Shyguy leave.)

Kirby: Vial, vial, vi-vial, vial... VIAL VIAL!!!

Bones: He said okay. Good. So, Rex, why do you need to be stomped on twice in Super Mario World?

Rex: We have strong skulls and spines, so because of that, it takes an extra stomp to completely squash us.

Kirby: Vial, vial, vial?

Bones: Kirby asked why you run around faster when you are stepped on the first time.

Rex: Well, most of the time, we're panicking. Sometimes we just feel like running around, and we get jumped on after we start.

************ 
Lord Shyguy: AAHHH!!! HELP ME!!!

Black Yoshi: COME BACK!!! I’VE NEVER TASTED ROYAL SHYGUY!!!

Lord Shyguy: I knew this would happen!! AAAAHHHH!!! 
***********

Kirby: Vial, vial vial?

Bones: He asked why you are blue.

Rex: We're blue because... Wait... WE HAVE NO RELATION TO BARNEY WHATSOEVER!!!

Bones: Barney is purple, you idiot.

Barney: Yeah, purple!

Kirby: Vi-VIAL!

Barney: Okay, okay, I'm leaving!

(He leaves.)

Rex: I know he’s purple... I was... just... seeing if you were paying attention! Yeah, that!

Bones: Right... Of course.

Rex: Anyway, our ancestors were originally green, but later on, someone spraypainted us blue. AHEM!

(Rex looks at Waluigi.)

Waluigi: What? It couldn't have been me! I'm not that old! Quit looking at me like that, it’s scary! STOP IT!

Rex: Wow, never thought of that. Well, eventually, the blue paint dried on and wouldn't come off, since it was PERMANENT!

Waluigi: IT WASN'T ME!!! WAAAAAAAAA!!!

(Waluigi runs away crying.)

Rex: So, the paint never came off, and it was passed down the line of Rexes, so it finally became our new permanent color!

Bones: Wow, long story.


Lord Shyguy and Black Yoshi 99 are seen sword-fighting on a mountaintop. But as the camera zooms in, we see they're just swinging the swords around like sissies.)

Lord Shyguy: Back away I tell you, BACK AWAY!

Black Yoshi 99: Just one lick! ONE LICK!

Lord Shyguy: NEVER!!! 
************

Bones: So, are there any other species of Rex?

Rex: Well, there is if you count the Shroob Rex, but other than them, we’re it.

Kirby: Vial vial vial!

Bones: He said time for audience questions! Seat ALMIGHTYGOD.

DAD: WHAT ARE THOSE LITTLE WING THINGYS ON YOUR BACK?

Rex: We used to be a flying race, but we grew fat off of all the food we ate, so we couldn't use our wings, and eventually, we ceased to use them.

DAD: ALL OF YOU READERS, DON'T FORGET TO WORSHIP ME!

Bones: If they are Familikoopas.

DAD: I BET THEY ARE!

Bones: Who cares? Seat CRAZYINVENTOR.

Ludwig: Aren't dinosaurs supposed to be extinct?

Rex: Yoshis exist! We exist! We're on Plit, for Pete’s sake, not Earth!

Ludwig: Didn't think of that...

Kirby: Vial, vial vial, vi-vial!

Bones: Kirby said seat- Wait, what?

Kirby: Vi-vial!

Bones: Fine. Seat GRUNTINGSWORDMAN!

Link: Tup, ho waa-

Bones: That’s why I hate him. He always grunts.

(Black Yoshi 99 and Lord Shyguy suddenly enter the room, battle-scarred.)

Black Yoshi 99: Link?! GET OUT IF YOU'RE NOT A MARIO CHARACTER EXCEPT KIRBY!!!

(Kirby is seen crying in a corner.)

Lord Shyguy: NON-MARIO CHARACTERS CAN STAY!!! IT’S MY STUDIO!!!

Black Yoshi 99: IT’S LEMMY’S STUDIO!!! DON'T YOU MASKED FREAKS KNOW ANYTHING?!

Lord Shyguy: How dare you?! DIE!!!

(Lord Shyguy and Black Yoshi 99 12 get-)

Black Yoshi 99: THERE’S NO 12!!!

(Okay, sorry! Lord Shyguy and Black Yoshi 99 get into a bloody fight.)

Bones: So, Link, as you were saying?

Link: Tup, ho, waaa?

Rex: What did he ask?

Bones: I think he asked if you are carnivorous. You did ask that, right Link?

(Link nods.)

Rex: Well, DUH! We're dinosaurs!

Kirby: Vi-vial, vial vial, vi-vial!

Bones: He said we have to stop the Interview because Lord Shyguy and Black Yoshi 99 are killing each other!

Lord Shyguy: (throwing a Barney doll) I KNOW YOUR WEAKNESS!

Black Yoshi 99: NOOOOOO!!!

Bones: END TRANSMISSION!

Kirby: VIAAAL!!!

(Transmission Ended)

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