Lemmy: Welcome to the Lemmy Interview show. Today we have PaperKoopa interviewing Toad or, as others call him, Sailor Mouth.
Toad: What?! (185**?!82)!
PaperKoopa: Stop now! We have not even started yet!
Toad: Okay.
PaperKoopa: So, first question. Why is it that your name is Toad but you’re a Mushroom?
Toad: I don’t know. It’s all Nintendo’s fault. All of them, they’re stupid.
Nintendo People: Toad! It is not our fault. We let Mario pick which of your names we used.
Mario: I like cheesy pie!
Toad: O_o (18**?920)!
PaperKoopa: You have two names?
Toad: Yeah, my first name is Toad. My second it Louis. I LOVE MY NAME!
Nintendo People: We’ll never use Louis in the video games!
PaperKoopa: O_o Anyway, second question. Why in video games are there so many of you?
Toad: Those are my brothers.
PaperKoopa: Then who are the girl Toads?
Toad: My sisters.
PaperKoopa: Then why are you dating Toadette?
Toadette: How did you know?
PaperKoopa: I have my ways.
(You see Yoshi tied upside-down with a truck stuffed in his mouth.)
Toad: Well, she is part Shroob, but her mom came to Earth.
PK: I soooo didn’t need to know that. Anyway, third question! Do you like being a Mushroom creature thingy?
Toad: Sure. We live regular lives with our Mushroom selves other than when evil is about and then that (!@$^!@%^$#^@W#&^*%($%@@@#%$) Mario has to come! I’d rather go to Bowser’s side!
PK: Enough with the anger! You really need help, you know that? Anyways, fourth question! Do you plan to marry Toadette?
Toad: YES! She’s the only person I’ve never sworn at! I LOVE YOU, TOADETTE!
PK: Awwwwww! That would be sweet if she bought tickets to the show! Cheapskate!
Toad: !#@!@$$!@#$#@@!@#@@#$#$#$@#$%!@#!!!
PK: You really should stop that. Anyway, questions 5 and up will be from the audience. Seat 7.
Paratroopa: What would you do if you could fly?
Toad: I would fly away to Bowser so Mario would never come near me again!
PK: Cool, you finally didn’t swear. Seat 69.
Ludwig: If you wanna join our side, why don’t you?
Toad: Nintendo. If I changed sides they said they’d kill me.
(You see the Nintendo people holding various weapons.)
PK: Seat 687.
Mushroomer: Is it true you are the first Mushroomer?
Toad: Yes it is true! ALL MUSHROOMERS SHALL BOW DOWN!
(The Mushroomers bow down and make a shrine of him.)
PK: Eighth question. Seat 892. Wow, I’ve got a big audience!
Boo: Would you be tasty in soup?
Toad: I guess so.
Boo: Good!
(The Boo whistles. Shy Guys come and pick up Toad.)
Chief Shy Guy: We get to have Mushroom soup!
Other Shy Guys: Huzzah!
Toad: (81****!?92010280@)!
(The Shy Guys leave, carrying Toad.)
Lemmy: Well, see you next time, folks, and remember, you can’t sue me or else you’ll be just like Peach.
(You see Peach tied upside down with a sock in her mouth and watching an Olson Twins video with Larry.)
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