P.T.: Punchy!
Punchy: What?
P.T.: Tourists liked the Interview where you interviewed Mini Mario, so you’re interviewing now!
Shrike: I don’t think it was necessarily because it was Punchy who was interviewing.
P.T.: Too late! Now Mii T, pack your bags! We’re pulling off a heist in Pagoda Peak!
Mii T.: WHAT?!
P.T.: Come on!
(P.T. drags Mii T. away with him. Soon…)
Punchy: I guess I’m interviewing again. Today I’ll interview a Super Mario Galaxy boss.
Audience: BOO!
Punchy: No, “Broozer”. But I never asked you to refer to my species.
Audience: NO! YOU ONLY JUST RECENTLY INTERVIEWED! WE’RE SICK OF YOU!
Punchy: … Sit down, shut up, and enjoy the Interview or you’ll all wake up without any teeth!
(The audience sits down, intimidated.)
Punchy: Okay Kamella. So are you always big?
Kamella: No, I used a spell to help me beat Mario! I WAS SO CLOSE!
Punchy: Yeah, no one cares. So are you, like, right up there with Kamek and Kammy?
Kamella: Yeah! And I’m better than both of them combined!
Punchy: How?
Kamella: I appeared in Galaxy!
Punchy: So did Kamek.
Kamella: But I appeared twice and can be distinguished from regular Magikoopas!
Punchy: True…
(Meanwhile, P.T., and Mii T. are in a car.)
Mii T.: Why are we robbing something?!
P.T.: Silence, nonbeliever!
Mii T.: But do we have to use a car to get there?
P.T.: What’s wrong with a car?
Mii T.: WE’RE DRIVING ON THE SEABED!
(Meanwhile…)
Punchy: So do you know any spells other than the Shell Spell, Summons, and Fire Spells?
Kamella: Yes! I know all the spells! Those are just the ones I specialize in.
Punchy: Do you ride a broom?
Kamella: I took some magic from my broom and inserted it into myself so I could fly on my own to save the trouble. But I can undo and redo the spell at any time.
Punchy: If you’re one of Bowser’s top Magikoopas, why didn’t you appear before Galaxy?
Kamella: I was busy staying behind in Magikoopa School so I could get higher degrees than SOME Magikoopas!
Kamek and Kammy: Hey!
(Meanwhile, P.T. and Mii T. are tiptoeing across a room. Any noise or bright object could throw them off, so P.T. and Mii T. are dressed in black versions of their normal clothes.)
Mii T.: (whispering) You still haven’t told me why we’re here or what we’re doing! Or why I have to be involved!
P.T.: (whispering) Oh, stop whining! I just hope the other guy gets here soon. We’ll need a third!
(Meanwhile…)
Punchy: Did it ever occur to you to use a spell that Mario COULDN’T use to hurt you?
Kamella: I underestimated him. BUT ONLY BECAUSE NO ONE EVER TOLD ME HOW MUCH MARIO’S DONE!
Punchy: They all say that. The underestimate part, that is. Why didn’t you at least get wise to this trick the second time?
Kamella: I thought that he might have forgotten to do that by that point. I MEAN, COME ON! THERE ARE SO MANY BOSSES AND THINGS TO DO, YOU CAN’T REMEMBER EVERYTHING!
Punchy: Clearly not. Do you think Bowser will trust you again?
Kamella: Yeah! All his minions fail him! Why should I be different?
Punchy: Because you made a point to be better than most.
Kamella: Oh. At least Bowser doesn’t know that!
Bowser: I do now!
Punchy: How’d you get here?
Bowser: I’m here to pick up some of the profits in Lemmy’s stead!
Punchy: Wait… Does this show even make money?
(An awkward silence ensues. Punchy breaks the silence.)
Punchy: So who was your favorite boss other than yourself or any of the two Bowsers?
Kamella: I’ve always preferred “creepy” things, so Tarantox!
Punchy: What about Bouldergeist?
Kamella: That’s “scary”.
(Meanwhile, someone enters the room.)
P.T.: (whispering) He’s here!
(A teenage boy in bright orange slams down onto the ground. And I mean so bright, you can actually see things around him as well as him! He starts slamming around the room.)
Boy: BELIEVE IT! BELIEVE IT! BELIEVE IT! BELIEVE IT!
Mii T.: THAT’S YOUR HELP?! HE’S THE WORST NINJA EVER!
P.T.: (whispering) You’re yelling at me! Yelling! Obviously you’re no Grade-A Ninja yourself!
Mii T.: …
(Meanwhile…)
Punchy: Why were there so many shells lying about in your little squad of airships? Clearly they were no help.
Kamella: Believe it or not, the Koopa Bros. were supposed to come and use them for something to help, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THEY HAD TO GO BUY THEIR “PRECIOUS” TMNT DVDS! THAT MAKES ME ANGRY!
(Punchy punches Kamella.)
Kamella: Ow! You can’t hit a girl!
Punchy: I’m a ghost, I like violence, you’re a boss, you’re a villain, and this is the twenty-first century.
Kamella: Still!
Punchy: Why did you use Power Stars in your wand?
Kamella: They helped augment my spells.
Punchy: That couldn’t have not worked any better!
Kamella: You love beating up feelings more than people themselves, don’t you?
Punchy: Sometimes.
(Meanwhile…)
Mii T.: We’re in jail! A Pagoda Peak jail! And you used your phone call to order pizza! Now there’s nothing we can do to stop the court from sending us to prison!
P.T.: Well maybe if you didn’t start shouting in the middle of the heist, we’d be in the car back right now!
Mii T.: The other guy was louder and brighter than me!
P.T.: Stop whining!
Mii T.: Since I’m going to have to go to church and beg DAD for forgiveness anyway, I guess I might as well do something else bad… How good are you at digging tunnels?
P.T.: I dabble.
(Meanwhile…)
Punchy: Well I’ve run out of questions.
(P.T. and Mii T. pop out of the ground.)
P.T.: Okay! Now to cover our tracks.
(P.T. puts a picket sign in the tunnel’s end that reads “P.T. and Mii T. aren’t up here and they didn’t use this tunnel to escape.”)
Mii T.: … Oh yeah, they’ll fall for that. (Idiot.)
P.T.: Now go away, crazy lady. END TRANSMISSION!
(Transmission Ended.)
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