Black Yoshi 99: Okay! Two things. One, I need a slave- I mean uh… um… crewmember! Yeah, let’s go with that! And two, I need an interviewee. So, I’ll interview someone, and if I like that person, I’ll get them to be my crewmember!
(Black Yoshi 99, who's feeling lazy today, searches the audience.)
Black Yoshi 99: You!
Kamek: Me?
Black Yoshi 99: No, you!
Big Guy: Me?
Black Yoshi 99: No, Barney… YES YOU!!!
Barney: Darn it!
Black Yoshi 99: *sigh* If you are not a Nintendo character, leave now.
(Half of the audience leaves.)
Black Yoshi 99: So, Big Guy the Stilted… You are now officially imprisoned- I mean, uh, being interviewed!
Big Guy: … You can call me Big. Or Stilts.
Black Yoshi 99: … You’re slow, aren’t you?
Big Guy: … Huh?
Black Yoshi 99: So the first Iterview question has been answered. Okay. What games are you in?
Big Guy: ... Yoshi’s Island DS… That’s it.
Black Yoshi 99: Which boss are you?
Bug Guy: … I’m the boss of World 4-8… And there are 5 worlds.
Black Yoshi 99: How did you get big?
Big Guy: … Kamek made me big, just like all the other bosses.
Black Yoshi 99: … I’m acting like Big… Do you aid Bowser?
Big Guy: ... Yes and no… General Guy told me to protect the castle at all times… And I had to repay Kamek for making me big.
Black Yoshi 99: What did General Guy see in you?
Big Guy: ... I was his lackey.
Black Yoshi 99: I see. Could you take your mask off for us?
Big Guy: … No… I shy.
Black Yoshi 99: DUH!!!
Big Guy: ... I’m just shy. That’s all.
Black Yoshi 99: Hence the name Shy Guy. Do you wish that Shy Guys were in Super Smash Bros. games?
Big Guy: … No… We’re too shy to try out. They only let Mario in because the name is Super Smash Bros, and he cries if he doesn’t do well enough.
Black Yoshi 99: … Okay… Well, with that said-
Mario: It’s-a time for-a some-a audience-a questions!
Black Yoshi 99: Wha- Where? GET OUT!!!
Mario: Okie-dokie!
Black Yoshi 99: I just love this job!
Big Guy: … Did you just use sarcasm?
Black Yoshi 99: No, I was using Barney… YES, I WAS USING SARCASM!!!
Barney: Darn it!
Black Yoshi 99: GET OUT!!! … Seat PINKPUFFBALL.
Kirby: Vial, vial vial?
Black Yoshi 99: If you can’t talk, leave!
(Kirby and Dark Link leave.)
Black Yoshi 99: Seat I’MASTRANGECROSSBREED.
Karma: How come your stilts don’t melt in lava?
Big Guy: … While weak, Shy Guys are good craftsminions.
Black Yoshi 99: Seat IENVYMYBROTHER.
Luigi: If-a you are-a so-a big, why-a don’t you-a just-a step on-a everyone who-a tries to-a give-a you orders?
Big Guy: … I’m a follower, not a leader.
Black Yoshi 99: Seat GREATESTWEBMASTEREVER.
Lemmy: Thanks for the compliment. Why do Shy Guys go “EE, AH” whenever they come out of a warp pipe?
Big Guy: ... The EE is us peeking out, and the AH is like a grunt from trying to push ourselves out of the pipe.
Black Yoshi 99: Okay! END TRANSMISSION. End it! Fine. Welcome to the club, Big. Now END TRANSMISSION!!!
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