Waluigi: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
Commander Shroob: %^$#%&$#$^%
Audience: Huh?
Commander:#$@^ %*^%*^#%
Waluigi: WAH! I'm scared of different languages!
Audience: Huh and huh?
Elder Shrooboid: GRRRRRRRRRR… #^^*@U#^%$&W&&*$%^#^*$#$#&$^$##$#$
Elder Princess Shroob: Woah! Watch your language.
(Commander whispers in Elder Princess’s non-existent ear .)
Elder Princess: Uh huh. Okay people, I will interview Waluigi and in return I'll teach Commander and Elder English… Wait, how do I win?
(Elder Princess looks over to see that all that is left of the Shroobs are horrible cardboard cutouts of themselves.)
Elder Princess: Ugh. All right, dirt bag, what games have you been in?
Waluigi: Wah! Oh, uh, Mario Tennis for the N64, Mario Power Tennis, Mario Party 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8, Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour, and finally DDR: Mario Mix. Oh, and I am in the relatively new game Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games.
Elder Princess: Wow, that’s a lot. I haven’t been in that many games.
Random Toad (RT): You’ve only been in one.
Elder Princess: I’ll deal with you after class.
RT: EEEEEEEP.
EP: Yeah, you'd better EEEEEEEP.
Waluigi: Eh hem.
EP: Oh, right. Uhhhhh, why are you so thin?
Waluigi: Why is Wario so fat?
EP: Touche. But really.
Waluigi: Well Nintendo wanted us to be advanced but still weaker forms of Mario and Luigi. So for Wario he became a fat idiot while I became a skinny coward because Luigi is skinnier than Mario but is also a bigger coward.
EP: And it shows. Okay, why are nearly all of your special moves elemental except your Bob-ombs?
Waluigi: Because I like nature, and the opposite of Wario thing comes into play again. I mean, really, Wario Ware?
EP: And finally, why don’t appear in any non spinoff games?
Waluigi: Well because Wario doesn’t need anybody in the Wario Ware series. I mean, he hardly interacts with anybody anyway, and he doesn’t need a partner in any other games.
EP: But couldn’t you guys make a Wario and Waluigi franchise?
Waluigi: Well yeah, but that franchise started after Wario’s primetime and glory days.
EP: Like he had glory days.
Waluigi: No, I mean after all his games came out.
EP: Oh.
Lemmy: Incomplete sentence alert.
EP: -_-
(Lemmy and a bunch of other people come onstage and start dumping guacamole on her.)
Lemmy: All right, she’s clean.
EP: No I’m not.
Lemmy: Of course you are, silly. It's opposite day.
EP: -_- Then why did you say “Incomplete sentence alert”?
Lemmy: Oh, because the monster inside Bandit’s head told me to.
(We see a Bandit in the audience eating a hot dog. A tentacle comes out of one of the eye holes in its mask and takes the hot dog, although it can’t get its tentacle back inside the mask.)
EP: Pitcher oh Pitcher doesn’t talk he growls and hisses.
Lemmy: Oh, uh, ok then. DEFENSIVE MANUVER 8.
(Lemmy throws a smoke ball at the ground. When the smoke clears… Lemmy is just standing there.)
Lemmy: 0_0 Uhh, how 'bout we just pretend that there is a lot of smoke here.
(Lemmy runs off, more specifically, backstage.)
EP: -_- O…kay. Audience time. Seat 56.
Blargg: What’s with your nose?
Waluigi: Don’t underestimate the power of Wario and eggplant.
EP: What does eggplant and Wario have to do with your nose?
Blargg: What do you care?
EP: I don’t but *glances at Lemmy* he does.
Lemmy: Ooooohhh, that’ll cost her some points.
EP: What do you think this is, an Interview or Jeopardy?
Lemmy: Uhhh, 72.
Waluigi: Well, actually eggplants have nothing to do with my nose, it's just because of Wario.
Blargg: Why?
Waluigi: Wario eats whole CLOVES of garlic. His breath is so horrendous that your nose swells up when you live with him for more than a day.
Blargg: EEEWWWWW!
EP: I can prove that eggplants give you noses like that.
(She shoves an eggplant in Lemmy’s face. A giant nose with a mustache pops out of his face .)
Lemmy: Waaaaaaaah!
EP: See? Seat 22.
Dr. Mario: I’m a doctor yay.
EP: I’m an alien die.
Dr. Mario: He-
EP: Seat 22 ½. Wait, what?
Mario: I’m a plumber, I should get a real job.
EP: Haha! Loser. Now really, (demonic voice) ASK A QUESTION.
Mario: All right Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Ahhh! Do you like CHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEESSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
EP: Zzz...
Waluigi: -_- No, I’m lactose intolerant.
Mario: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
EP: *wakes up* Uhhhhh, huuuun...? Oh wait, yeah… The Interview… Seat F.
Bowser Jr: Why do you have Wa in your name?
Waluigi: I don’t know, go ask Nintendo.
EP: Seat ARTICHOKE.
Toad: Where are the Shroobs.
EP: I don’t know, probably somewhere stupid.
(We can clearly see the Shroobs in the background dragging a screaming Lemmy somewhere.)
EP: See? Somewhere stupid.
Toad: O...kay.
EP: Seat SUPERSTAR.
Queen Bean: You usually say “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH”, scream, and cry. (demonic voice) WHY HAVENT YOU?!
Waluigi: Because DAD wills it-
The Dryest Bones: My line
Waluigi: -and WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
EP: (holding a knife near her chest) End my life, just end it, DAD.
Waluigi: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
EP: Finally.
Waluigi: I don’t know if I should be offended or not.
EP: Go jump off a cliff.
Waluigi: `-‘
EP: Queeny, go own Biggest Loser. It suits you perfectly.
Queeny- oh, uh, I mean Queen Bean: Humph.
(Queen Bean walks away, but trips on Cactaur and then goes to the Biggest Loser Campus, where Jillian works her to literal death.)
EP: All right, it’s over, yay.
Audience: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
(The audience dies from screaming too much, except for RT.)
RT: DAD!
EP: Skinny dude, you're lame.
Waluigi: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
EP: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH RT...
(EP looks over to sees a cardboard cutout of RT.)
EP: *sigh* Hm. I wonder where those idiots are...
(Meanwhile the Shroobs are giving Lemmy the worst kind of treatment alive, though technically treatments aren’t alive-)
Shroobs: !@#$%^&*() (Get on with it!)
(Ok ok, anyway the treatment is… a tea party. MMMMUUUUAAAHHHHHHAAAHHH!)
Lemmy: Somebody save me.
Commander: Here comes Miss Missies.
Lemmy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Elder: Hey, you can talk.
Commander: Hay is for- *gasp* You're right! And you can too.
Lemmy: A little help, please.
Shroobs: Be quiet.
Back at the Interview studio...
EP: *sigh* Nothing left to do but play Dance Dance Revolution .
(She does.)
EP: Man this is addicting.
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