IGGY interviews FRANCIS
 
By P.T. Piranha

P.T.: Okay, no time to waste, let’s go!

(Soon…)

Lemmy: Hi, I guess I’m interviewing Francis.

(Iggy appears and spins into Lemmy, knocking him out the window.)

Iggy: Sorry, Brother, but I can interview him way better!

Francis: Nerr, schweet! He was a dork anyway!

Everyone except Francis: …

Iggy: So Francis. Pirates or Ninjas?

Francis: NINJAS ARE SO HI-TECHNICAAAAL! And they can learn magic, like Naruto!

Iggy: That’s an awesome show!

(P.T. appears and hits both of them with his Golden Hammer.)

P.T.: NO! That’s a terrible show! No good ninjas wear bright orange and shout everything they say!

(Yes, I really hate that show. Get over it.)

P.T.: Now I’m off to punish that blue Cactuar who says things that are stupid by even my standards! I’m off!

(P.T. runs away.)

Iggy: Why do you have so many cat decorations?

Francis: Cats are so HI-TECHNICAAAAAAAAL! They’re soft and cheap!

Iggy: What’s your Digibutter.Nerr username?

Francis: I’m Supergeniusnerr89!

Iggy: Cool! I’m Betterlookingtwin42!

Francis: That guy who posted that awesome Youtube video showing Grodus vs. the Elvin King?

Iggy: Yeah, that was awesome! But the comic made beforehand was way better!

Francis: It was schweet, nerr! And a nice nostalgic reference to the series that it’s a spinoff of!

Iggy: Yeah, but the Grodus Chronicles are way better!

Shrike: NEXT QUESTION!

Iggy: Okay. Chameleons blend in, not turn invisible. How do you do that?

Francis: I sold my Blubbinator issue 1 on Digibutter.Nerr for invisi-spray!

Iggy: ISSUE ONE?! HOW COULD YOU?!

Francis: (whispering) It was a dupe! I have plenty! I bring one every time I go to the bathroom. But not for reading! I have the original locked in a vault.

Iggy: Clever. Where’d you get all the Mario memorabilia?

Francis: Also online sales!

Iggy: How did you pay for that stuff and all your Meowbots?

Francis: Mother.

Iggy: Okay. Did you ever finish Tiptron MK.II?

Francis: Yeah, now I have my own Francine I can keep forever!

Tiptron MK.II (in seat SECONDROBOT): …

Iggy: Last, how did you fit your laptop in your fannypack?

Francis: Frannypack.

Iggy: Oh.

Francis: Nerr, I had this HI-TECHNICAAAAAAAAAAL secret compartment installed so I can fit anything in there!

Iggy: Okay. Audience Questions! Seat ROCKGHOST.

Bouldergeist: How come you never mention your dad?

Francis: He died, nerr.

Iggy: Ouch. Seat (ANTI-)HEROES.

Yoshi: I decided to stop here on my way to the shooting of the FF. Did you ever figure out how you got to Castle Bleck?

Francis: I found this weird warp pipe with schweet hotrod flames in my room, so I went down and it took me in a dark room. Then I heard people coming and became invisible so I could, nerr, see who was there. I think my Reclinotron read my thoughts and couchwarped me, via producing the pipe!

Yoshi: … Hotrod flames, Mimi?

Mimi: I don’t know!

Iggy: Seat GUYBEHINDHOUSESINSMRPG.

Guy Behind Houses in SMRPG: I heard you like Mudkips.

Iggy: You can’t use that joke! Remember how it started?

GBHISMRPG: It’s okay, it was actually just a joke in Deviantart.

Francis: Yeah, I have lots of trading cards about them, nerr.

GBHISMRPG: How many?

Francis: OVER NINE-THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!

Iggy: What?! 9000?! Okay, Seat BIRD.

Stork: I stole your comic!

Francis: O RLY?

Stork: YA RLY.

Francis: … This stinks.

Iggy: Bye!

(Everyone leaves. Lemmy then comes back and knocks Iggy out a window with his ball.)

Lemmy: That’s for sending me away!

(P.T. then knocks Lemmy away with his boomerang.)

P.T.: End Transmission!

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