Blaze: Okay. How do I do this thing again?
Dark Koopa: Look, man. It’s simple. You ask the interviewee four questions and the interviewee answers them. Then you call four seats from the audience, they ask four questions, and the interviewee answers them. Is it in your fat head now?
Blaze: Hey! Watch it before I give you a fat LIP!
Dark Koopa: I should like to see you do that!
(Blaze punches Dark Koopa in the face.)
Dark Koopa: OW!
(Dark Koopa’s lip swells.)
Blaze: I guess we’re even now…
Dark Koopa: Why I oughta…
(Later…)
Blaze: All right, dudes and dudettes. This is the first time I’ve done this, okay? So if I mess up then it’s no big deal. GOT IT?!
Audience: Okay!
Blaze: Good! Anyways, I’m interviewin’… uh… hmm… what’s his face?
Koops: MY NAME IS KOOPS!!!
Blaze: OH SHUT UP AND GET YOUR SHELL ON THIS STAGE!!!
(Koops walks onto the stage and sits in the interviewee chair.)
Blaze: Okay… um… First question… Why do you wear a shirt while other Koopas don’t?
Koops: Well because-
Blaze: Question two…
Dark Koopa: No no no!!!
Blaze: What?! I’m tryin’ to ask this dude, whoever he is, four questions!
Koops: IT’S KOOPS!!!
Blaze: I’M NOT TALKIN’ TO YOU!!!
Koops: …
Blaze: Now what am I’m doin’ wrong here?!
Dark Koopa: You’re SUPPOSED to give him a CHANCE to ANSWER the QUESTION!!!
Blaze: Oh… My bad… Okay Koops. Answer the question…
Koops: Thanks for not forgetting my name… My girlfriend Koopie thinks it makes me look neat… I think this shirt just makes me feel hot…
Blaze: Hmm… Next question… Who’s your biggest rival?
Koops: Hooktail.
Blaze: Hm? Who’s he?
Koops: SHE is this huge, red dragon, and she swallowed my dad whole. I thought he was dead, but he was still alive when we defeated her. He was in Hooktail’s stomach for ten years.
Blaze: O_o Ten years in a dragon’s stomach? Man, that’s weird, and so is the fact that she’s a girl…
Hooktail: WEIRD?! WHY YOU LITTLE!!!
Koops: Oh…and she likes to eat Koopas.
(Hooktail flies towards the stage.)
Blaze: Uh… Gimme one second…
(Hooktail snaps her jaw at Blaze, but misses. Blaze jumps high and lands on Hooktail’s nose. He kicks her in the eye.)
Hooktail: OW! MY EYE!!!
Blaze: And if you DON’T want me to spit fire at that same eye, STAY STILL!!!
Hooktail: OKAY OKAY!!!
Blaze: Good! … Meh, I think I’ll sit up here… Those chairs don’t look that sturdy…
(Koops’s chair breaks.)
Blaze: See what I mean?
Koops: SEE what you mean? I felt it too!
Blaze: I can see that… Next question… Why do you always wear that bandage on your nose?
Koops: Dare I show you?
(Koops takes the bandage off.)
Audience: *GASP*
Hooktail: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!!
Blaze: OH CRUD!!! DUDE, PUT THAT THING BACK ON!!!
(Koops puts the bandage back on.)
Audience: Whew!
Blaze: How did you do THAT?!
Koops: I can’t remember… It happened such a long time ago.
Blaze: Mm-hm… Next question…
Dark Koopa: STOP!!!
Blaze: WHAT NOW?!
Dark Koopa: YOU ALREADY ASKED HIM FOUR QUESTIONS!!!
Blaze: DID NOT!!!
Dark Koopa: Look! You asked him about his shirt, about his rival, who Hooktail is, and about the bandage on his nose!
Blaze: THE ONE ABOUT WHO HOOKTAIL IS DIDN’T COUNT!!!
Dark Koopa: … Oh… Okay, keep going.
Blaze: Was it hard fighting that… uh… shadow… demon thing?
Koops: Freakishly hard! She had all these weird powers that hurt us pretty bad, but we defeated her, so that’s good…
Hooktail: Hey… uh… what’s your face?
Blaze: … Woah… Déjà vu… It’s Blaze!
Hooktail: Right… Blaze… I bet you didn’t know that I’m one of the Shadow Queen’s pets!
Blaze: Hm… Now that you mention it… Yer right… I DIDN’T know that…
Hooktail: Oh, and can I ask a quick question?
Blaze: Okay… I guess…
Dark Koopa: WAIT!!!
Blaze: What? What?! WHAT?!
Dark Koopa: She can’t ask a question unless you call her seat in the audience!
Blaze: Okay okay! I guess it’s time for audience questions now… Seat… stage-
Dark Koopa: STOP!!!
Blaze: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
Dark Koopa: The stage is not a seat!
Blaze: … RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
(Blaze beats Dark Koopa to a pulp.)
Dark Koopa: Owie…
(Blaze gets back on Hooktail’s nose.)
Blaze: All right, dudette… Ask yer question…
Hooktail: Thanks! Can I eat you?
Koops: NO!!!
Hooktail: Okay…
Blaze: Seat… uh… 27…
Mario: CHEESE!!!
Blaze: … Okay… Seat 97…
Fawful: I HAVE FURY!!!
Blaze: Rrrr! Seat 207?
Marilyn: GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHH!!!
Blaze: If that happens one more time… Seat 67…
Morton: WEDDING CAKE!!!
Blaze: RRRRRRRRRR!!! Hooktail? Could you go and-
Hooktail: It would be a pleasure!
Audience: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Hooktail eats the audience.)
Koops: I still think that’s not right…
Blaze: Thanks, dudette! Well… I guess that’s over with… Wanna get a pizza?
Koops and Hooktail: YEAH!!!
Blaze: HEY!!! CAMERAMAN!!! TURN THAT THING OFF!!!
(Blaze punches the camera. The camera breaks.)
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