Mario: Take-a this, and-a this!
Luigi: Ow!!! You’re-a not actually supposed to hit me!!!
Mario smiles.
Mario: Oops! I guess I forgot!
Mario continues to smack Luigi with the Wii remote.
Luigi: That’s it!
Luigi grabs a Super Mushroom and stomps on Mario. Hard.
Mario: Ow…
Mario gets up after Luigi shrinks, and brushes himself off.
Mario: You’re-a so violent and mean today, Luigi!
Luigi: Hypocrite. I’m-a bored of this. Let’s watch a movie.
Mario: Yah! We should-a watch “It Came from Beneath Bowser’s Castle”!
Luigi: No! We have to watch Masterpiece Theater: “A Tale of Two Castles”!
Mario: You actually watch that !@#$#@!@#$#?!
Luigi: It’s very educational and-a interesting!
Mario grabs the remote from the table and pops the DVD he wants to watch into the player.
Mario: I want to watch the horror film-a!
Luigi: You get everything you want…
Mario jumps onto the couch and turns on the movie.
Mario: Luigi, make-a me some popcorn!
Luigi: Why should-a I?
Mario takes his fist and starts smashing Luigi is the head.
Luigi: OW!!! All right-a, all right, I’ll-a make you the stupid popcorn!
Luigi goes into the kitchen and throws a bag of popcorn into the microwave. After it’s done, he gets a mean look on his face.
Luigi: The popcorn is-a done, dear brother!Mario: What-a took you so long-a?
Luigi: Nothing! I did nothing to the popcorn!!!
Mario: Okaaaaaaaaaay then…
Mario takes a handful of popcorn, tosses it into his mouth, and gags.
Mario: WHAT DID YOU DO THIS?!
Luigi: Vinegar.
Mario: I’M ALLERGIC TO-A VINEGAR!!!
Luigi: Oops! I guess I forgot!
Mario swells up like a balloon. Soon even his pinky finger is as thick as a sausage.
Mario: thbtttt!
Luigi: HA! YOU CAN’T EVEN-A SPEAK!!! HEHEHEHE!!!
Luigi keels over onto the floor, doubled over with laughter. Suddenly he starts jerking, and starts gasping for air.
Luigi: …
Mario rolls over to the phone and starts dialing 911, but because his fingers are so big, he dials the wrong number. Mario’s lips return to normal so he at least can speak.
John: Hello, welcome to John’s Pizzeria, where we treat you like family. What can I get you?
Mario forgets about Luigi’s heart attack.
Mario: I’ll-a take an extra extra extra extra large with-a everything on it! And extra toopings!!!
John: Where will we deliver this?
Mario: 123 Mushroom Lane!!!
John: Sure. *click!*
Mario remembers Luigi, but instead of doing CPR, he goes over to the closet where he keeps his shots full of anti-vinegar solvent. After he injects himself, he shrinks back to regular size.
Mario: Ahhh! Much-a better!
Suddenly the doorbell rings, and the pizza guy comes in.
Mario: Oh good! Here’s the money! Also, here’s a tip for your troubles!
Mario hands the man the money, along with one coin as a tip.
Pizza Guy: Wow. So generous.
The pizza guy slams the door on Mario without another word.
Mario: I haven’t been able to enjoy a whole-a pizza in a while! I might as well-a dig in! Luigi can wait.
Mario stuffs the whole pizza into his mouth, with some difficulty.
Mario: Mgghhg Mmmmm! (Translation: Delicious!)
As Mario swallows, the pizza suddenly gets lodged in his throat. He stumbles around the room for a minute, smashing into walls and twitching before collapsing onto the ground, unable to breathe.
Mario: …
Princess Peach barges into Mario’s house.
Peach: Mario, you never returned the curling iron I lent- OH MY HOLY !@#$@!#@$!$#!$!
Peach dials 911 and tells them that there are two men who have choked and had a heart attack. The ambulance arrives and takes Mario and Luigi to the E.R. When they awaken, Peach is waiting by their side.
Peach: Did you spend the day with each other again?
Mario: How did you know?
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