Mario: LUIGI!!! GUESS WHAT!
Luigi: You got your head stuck in the fridge again?
Mario: NO! I got us… A DOG!
Luigi: WHAT?!
Mario: I named her Martha!
Martha: Ruff! (I’m a boy.)
Luigi: Mario! A dog is a lot of responsibility! YOU have to take care of it, not me. Understand?
Mario: YES! I will love and care for Marty forever!
Luigi: I thought its name was Marsha.
Mario: No! It’s Mort!
Marsha/Marty/Mort: Bark! (Just call me M.)
Mario: I will love and care for you forever, Mary!
M: *whimper* ( SOS!!!)
And so, Mario takes M for a walk.
Mario: Her name is Melon!!! I think Martha is hungry!
Mario takes M into the most expensive coffee shop in the Mushroom Kingdom: Tim Horton’s.
Waiter: No dogs allowed!
Mario: I’ll pay you… 3 dollars!!!
Waiter: Okay.
Mario: So Myron, what do you want?
M: *growl* (I hate coffee, how about some dog food?)
Mario: Supersize coffee it is!
Waiter: Shouldn’t you give it dog food?
Mario: Dog food is for cats, dummy!
Waiter: Then what’s cat food for?
Mario: What do you think is in Luigi’s breakfast?
Waiter: …
M: *howl!* (Well, I’m not going to be stealing any breakfast from HIM.)
Mario: Now, Mickey, eat your coffee or I won’t give you any dog treats!
M: Ruff? (Dog treats? Maybe this moron will actually get something right!)
M reluctantly eats all the coffee.
Mario: It’s Mariam!
Whatever.
Mario: Don’t you whatever me!
Dude! Continue with the story!
Mario: Right…
Mario: All right, Mortimer! For your treat I’ll give you… 3 gallons of coffee!!!
M: *HOWL!!!* (NOOO!!!)
3 hours later…
Mario: Time for a walk!
M: Ruff? (Walk?)
Mario: Through the abandoned mine field!!!
M: *whimper* (Oh-no!)
Mario skips all over the place, singing and laughing,
Mario: LALALALALA YEA! HAHAHAHAH!
M is walking very slowly, very carefully…
*BOOM! BOOM BOOM!*
M: GROWL! (You’re the worst owner ever, this stinks.)
Mario: I love you too!
Mario drags a reluctant M back home
Mario: BATH TIME!!!
M: BARK BARK BARK! (NOO! I WILL NOT GO INTO THE BATH!)
Luigi: Mario, he isn’t dirty. Why does he need a bath?
Mario: Because I said so! Now come on, Marianne!
M: Howl! (Life is not worth living!)
Mario: Hmm… Should I use candy-flavored soap or dirt-flavored soap…
M: BARK BARK BARRKKKK! (CANDY! CANDY! CANDDYYY!!!)
Mario: DIRT FLAVOR IT IS!
M: HOWWLLLL (NOOOO!)
4 dirt-filled hours later:..
Mario: All done! Don’t you look nice, Marriee!
M: Achoo! (Achoo!)
Mario: AHH! MORTON WENT WEEWEE ON THE CARPET!
M: Growl! (Well you deserved it!)
Luigi: Cean it up.
Mario: Eewewewewewewwew…
1 hour later…
Mario: …eweweweewewewewewewewew!
Luigi: FINE! I’ll do it!
Mario: Wait, where’s Mack?
M is seen running down a road.
M: WOOFF! (FREEDOMM!)
Mario: I’ll miss you! I never forget- Hey look, Luigi! A gerbil! I’m going to name him… Fred! I’ll love him forever!!!
M: Woof! (HAHA! Sucker!)
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