Hey there, Mushroom Kingdom shrimps! Starting to hate your wimpy princess that can't defend herself? Then go create your own castle and create your own kingdom! Of course, it'll never be as awesome as mine! So I'm here to give you guys tips on how to make a kingdom!
STEP 1: Your Awesome Castle
First off, you must create a great castle. However, you must realize that some hero will come to storm into the castle, so be prepared to use defenses! Purposely leave pits inside your castle floors so that people could fall in, and post guards around every corner in your castle (although, I admit they're useless as string). If that's not enough, bring in Bullet Bill Cannons and fill some of the pits with lava! Everyone loves lava! However, you must keep your castle nice-looking. Roll out the carpets, put some portraits and statues of yourself, and if you're like me, add lava hot tubs everywhere! Even though your enemy is coming to storm your castle, it doesn't mean that you can't leave a welcome mat at the front door.
STEP 2: Your Guards
While you think you're as mighty as me, you're not. You have to have guards. I suggest hiring Goombas. Sure, they're incredibly easy to beat up, but they make up 30% of the Mushroom Kingdom Population (don't ask, I had Ludwig run up those percentages... whatever that means). You could also carve out Thwomps to crush the competition! Try to hire good fighters, because you need all the help you can get!
STEP 3: Expansion
Your kingdom can't end with a lousy castle! You must expand your kingdom throughout the land! I prefer a grass land, a desert land, water land, giant land, cloud land, ice land, pipe land, and my land, but even I admit that's overused. Mix it up, like putting your empire in SPACE! Or try taking over an island! Or you could follow my route and try to steal the princess' kingdom! Sure, an annoying fat plumber is going to stop you, but you're going to have fun doing it!
Well, that's all to my guide, chumps! What, didn't think it was enough? Well I just scammed you out of your money! So hah!
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