PlayStop

Spider-Mario
 
By iggykoopa fan

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Chapter 1

It is a peaceful day in New Yoshi City. And by peaceful, I mean boring. It is so boring that everybody is falling asleep right on the spot. We see a Toad driving a taxi, and he then falls asleep.

CRASH!

Toad: I'm ok!

Wait. What am I doing here? I'm not supposed to be here yet! I'm supposed to be someplace less interesting and more relevant to the plot.

We then see a school bus. We also see some guy with a mustache and overalls chasing it. We also-

???: Hey! A-get out of the-a narrator-a booth! It's-a my turn to do-a my voice-a-over!

Fine! No need to be bossy! Sheesh!

???: Any-a-who, that-a guy you see-a chasing the-a bus is-a me.

Wait a minute. If that's you, then how can you be here?

???: I-a said a-get out! As I was-a saying, That-a guy is-a me. My name is-a Mario Pickle. I-a am basically the biggest nerd on Plit. But-a enough about that. Let's-a see what's-a going on.

Mario (chasing the bus): Stop-a the bus! Stop! Stop-a the bus!

The bus stops, but Mario keeps running and runs past it. He is now at his school, which is where the bus is going.

Mario: A-shoot! I just went past the bus!

Mario runs back to the bus, which is three miles away, and gets on.

Mario (voiceover): I should-a also tell you, like-a any-a other story that-a no one's interested-a in, this-a is a story about a girl.

We see Daisy.

Mario (still VO): No, not-a that girl.

We see Toadette.

Mario (yes, it's still the VO): Not-a her either.

We see Wendy.

Mario (do I need to say it?): Ew! No! Definitely not-a that! Is that even-a a girl?

Wendy (voiceover): What did you say?! And wait a minute! This seems oddly familiar. You're not stealing jokes from movies, are you?

Mario (if you don't know this a VO, you are clueless): Uhhhh. *shifty eyes* No! Of course-a not! What makes-a you-a say that?

Wendy (still the VO): Never mind!

Mario (seriously, you should know this): Any-a-way, let's-a get back to-a the story.

We see Peach .

Mario (...): This is-a the girl. Peach Juice. The-a girl that-a lived next-a door to me for a long-a time, yet she-a doesn't-a even know I-a exist. Even if-a I was on-a fire and being-a beaten by-a Koopas, Peach-a wouldn't notice-a me. Now let's-a see what's-a going on.

Mario sits next to Peach

Mario: Hi-a Peach.

Peach: Hi. Um... Mary, is it?

Mario: It's-a Mario. Mario Pickle. I-a lived next-a door to you for-a several years.

Peach: Hmm.... nope, doesn't ring a bell.

Mario: Mamamia!

The school bus arrives at the school, but since nobody cares about school, we'll skip this scene and go straight to Mario's house.

Mario enters his house and trips, landing face-first.

Some old British Toad: Who's there? We don't want no Girl Scout cookies! What day is it? I remember when a POW Block cost 1 gold coin.

Some old Female Toad: It's Mario, you senile old coot. Now go help him up.

The old British Toad goes to Mario and picks up... the coat rack that got knocked over when he fell.

OBT: There we go, old boy, good as new.

OBT sees Mario on the ground, and picks him up.

OBT: Dear boy, be more careful. You knocked over this ugly coat rack.

The old British Toad, in case you haven't figured out, is Toadsworth. How can you not know? He's the only British Toad ever! If you don't know that, then you, sir or madam, are a complete idiot. The old female Toad is Tayce T. That one did need some explaining. Probably. Maybe. Anyway, they are Mario's aunt and uncle. Now back to the story.

Toadsworth: How was my favorite daughter's first day at school?

Mario: ... I'm-a your nephew. You-a don't have-a any children. And it wasn't-a my first day-a at school.

Toadsworth: I don't have any kids? You mean I'm an orphan?

Tayce T: How was your day, Mario?

Mario: It was-a good, Aunt Tayce T. Some bullies shoved-a me into the lockers, they-a threw me into the-a trashcans, they-a also-a took all of-a my lunch money. So, nothing unusual-a happened.

Tayce T: That's good to hear, dear.

Mario: Oh, and one more-a thing. Tomorrow is-a the-a annual science-a convention-a. I'm-a going there tomorrow.

Toadsworth: Tell them that I want the usual: no onions, extra pickles, and hold the mustard.

Mario: I'm-a going to a science convention. Not-a Burger Koop, you-a crazy old coot!

Toadsworth: Don't talk to your grandma like that, young lady!

Mario: ... I'm-a going upstairs to-a my room. I'll be down in the next scene.

Mario goes upstairs.

Toadsworth: Who was that very ugly man? I’ve never seen him before.

Tayce T: Why did I even marry you?

The next scene…

Mario is at the science convention with a bunch of other random people that we don't care about. They're just here to take up space. Mario then sees Peach.

Mario: Hey-a Peach.

Peach (looking at a bird-like thing): Oh, hey um... Luigi, right?

Mario: It's-a Mario! Anyway, can I-a take-a the bird-like thing's picture for the school newspaper?

Peach: Sure, I guess... Wait. We have a school newspaper?

Mario: Yes. Doesn't-a anybody read the paper?

Peach: Apparently not.

Mario: I'm gonna take pictures now.

Mario starts taking pictures. While he's taking pictures, someone comes up behind him and puts a hand on his shoulder.

Mario: *high-pitched girl-like scream* Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Mario turns around and sees... Lemmy Ozberry.

Lemmy: Hey Mar. How ya doing?

Mario: I'm-a fine, Lemmy. How is your multimillionaire father doing?

Lemmy: He hardly pays attention to me. He's always busy with his research.

Mario: I'm sure he still loves you. And besides, it's not like he's gonna create a formula that will make him a Super Koopa but drive him insane, turning him into a supervillain.

Lemmy: What?

Mario: Um... nothing.

Some scientist with swirly glasses shows up.

Gadd: All right, class. Now that I finally get a speaking role in this, let's get on with this. Please follow me.

Gadd leads the class to a glass tank.

Gadd: Inside this tank are seven Piders (a spider enemy from Paper Mario 2) that we did sciency stuff to. So now they have super strength, impenetrable skin, and super strong webs. And blah blah blah…

Peach: There's only six Piders in here.

Gadd: Well, that's not my problem. Now let’s continue with the tour while the imaginary camera focuses on someone else that's important to the plot.

Meanwhile, while Mario is taking some more pictures, a Pider comes down and bites him.

Mario: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Mario starts running around in pain, running into people and things and knocking them over. Mario then runs out of the convention.

Various People: My legs! My arms! My eyes! Etc!

Mario arrives at his house.

Toadsworth: Hey, sister of mine! Our son is home from the girly shoe store!

Tayce T: I'm your wife, and he's our nephew, and he's home from the science convention.

Toadsworth: Don't talk to your mother like that, young lady! Hey Mary, how was the carnival?

Mario: It's-a Mario. And the SCIENCE CONVENTION was-a all right. Now I don't feel-a so good. I'm-a gonna lay down.

Mario goes to his room and lays down on his bed.


Chapter 2

We then see a large building. Inside the large building…

Random Koopa: Mr. Ozberry, are you sure that the secret formula is safe?

Ozberry: Yes, I'm certain. Just as certain as I don't have a son.

RK: You do have a son, sir.

Ozberry: Oh, I do? Well, I'm still certain it's safe. It's not like I'll become a supervillain.

RK: What?

Ozberry: Um. Nothing.

They enter a large room.

RK: This is almost as cool as the glider and suit that we saw in a deleted scene.

Ozberry: What was that? Never mind.

Some random scientists show up. One of them shakes Ozberry's hand.

Random Scientist: Greetings. Iggy Ozberry, I presume.

That's right! Iggy is older than Lemmy in this, and he's Lemmy's father! Ah, the confusion.

Iggy: That's right. I'm Iggy Ozberry. Multigajillionaire and Koopa with a huge ego.

RS: How's your son?

Iggy: Oh, you mean...

Iggy looks at RK.

RK: Lemmy.

Iggy: ... Lemmy. Um, he's fine. I think.

RS: That's good. You must care about him a lot.

Iggy: Who?

RS: Lemmy. Your son.

Iggy: I have a son?

RS: You’ve had a son for 17 years.

Iggy: I have? I just thought he was some annoying kid that came out of nowhere. Although that might explain why he called me things like dada, daddy, dad, and father.

RS: Are we gonna test the formula that most likely isn't safe?

Iggy: Wait. Aren't you supposed to try to talk me out of using the formula?

RS: Oh, yeah. No! It's too dangerous! You’re insane! This is madness!

Leonidas: Madness? This! Is! Sparta!!!

He kicks the random scientist down a hole that wasn't there before.

Iggy: I'm not insane!

RS (now out of the hole that isn't there anymore): Well, actually Iggy, in the games, you were described as a demented, and in NSMBW, you were hyper and laughed a lot.

Iggy: Never mind that! Just strap me down on this table!

Iggy walks over to a table.

Iggy: Wait a minute! This table is too small! And there's some fat guy with a big red nose and holes all over him! Ooh, tweezers.

Iggy takes the tweezers and tries to take something out of one of the holes, but touches the sides of the hole.

BZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Iggy: Well, I think his game is over. Oh well.

Iggy tosses the game away.

Iggy: Let's try this table.

We see the right table. Iggy has some scientists strap him down.

Iggy: Raise up me!

RS: Okie dokie!

The table is raised so it's now vertical. A scientist approaches with a freakishly large needle.

RS2: Are you ready for your flu shot, Mr. Ozberry?

Iggy: What? No! You're supposed to give me the formula!

RS2: Oh. *tosses the needle and pulls out a bottle of Diet Formula* Open up.

The scientist pours the formula down Iggy's throat.

Iggy: Mmm. Grape flavored. Is it working?

RS3: Yes, it's working! Your vitals are getting stronger!

Iggy then starts convulsing.

RS3: Oh no! Something's going wrong!

RS2: (sarcastically) Really? What was your first clue?

Iggy starts convulsing more violently and is foaming at the mouth.

RS: What do we do?!

RS3: I got nothing. Wanna go see a movie?

RS: Sure. Have you noticed that the author never told the readers that we're Shy Guys?

RS3: You don't say.

They leave. And Iggy stops convulsing. In fact, he's not moving at all.

Shy Guy Scientist 2: Well, his game is over. I get first dibs on his wallet!

Iggy then comes back to life and breaks free of his restraints.

SGS2: *girly scream*

Iggy: You were planning on doing something which you failed to tell the readers what it is!

SGS2: I'm sorry! I swear I won't switch to Geico!

Iggy: What? No, not that, I meant you were gonna sell my company to some other company!

SGS2: *shifty eyes* What? Um, no I wasn't?

Iggy: Which one?

SGS2: Um, SEGA?

Something finally snaps in Iggy's head.

Iggy: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaatt!!!!????? You were gonna sell MY company to SEGA!!?? The most powerful company ever!!?? We specialize in medicines, chemicals, nanotech, and of course haircare products!

Iggy then does really horrifying things to the scientists, which I won't describe because it might scar you for life.

He makes them watch Teletubbies

Iggy then leaves the room with a hearty laugh.

Iggy: Ahahahahahahahahahahahawhaahahahahhahahah!!!

Or a creepy, insane laugh.


Chapter 3

Meanwhile, elsewhere also important in the author's poor attempt to combine the 3 Spider-Man movies, we see another large building.

Koopa Reporter: Dr. Octangular, are you sure that this is safe?

Dr. Octangular: Of course I'm sure! Otherwise I wouldn't be known as Dr. Ludwig Octangular.

KR2: What exactly does this new experiment do?

Ludwig: It's simple really, this will help lots of people in some way. Hopefully. And won't turn me into a supervillain.

KR2: What?

Ludwig: Um, nothing? Anyway, for this experiment that definitely can't go wrong, I require the very rare element Stupididiotium.

KR3: Isn't that stuff extremely dangerous?

Ludwig: Only if you're a stupid idiot. LOL! But yes, this stuff is dangerous, which is why I made this.

He shows everyone a sheet with something underneath it.

KR: You made a blanket? Cool! You are a genius!

Ludwig: Not the sheet, you idiot! This!

He ttakes the sheet off to reveal a metal Koopa shell with four mechanical tentacles coming out of the back.

Ludwig: This will allow me to safely work with the Stupididiotium without worry. They possess AI, they are immune to heat and magnetism, and they make it easier to juggle!

Ludwig then takes off his own shell and puts on the metal tentacle one. We see that he's wearing the shell backwards.

Ludwig: Oops. Hang on a moment.

He takes the shell of and puts it back on so it's facing the right way, but it's now upside down.

Ludwig: Shoot. One more time.

He takes off the shell, and puts it on the right way this time.

Ludwig: Now we can start the experiment.

KoopaReporter4: Dr. Octangular, aren't you worried that the tentacles will overtake your personality, turning you into a villain with plans for evilness?

Ludwig: What? No! That definitely won't happen! Thanks to this!

He shows them something on his back.

Ludwig: This will keep my mind safe!

KoopaReporter3: A hello Kitty tattoo?

Various laughter is heard.

Ludwig: Not the tattoo... which I don't remember getting... at all... *shifty eyes* I mean this chip!

Wwe see a microchip on the shell.

Ludwig: With this chip, the tentacles remain under my control. Basically, I control them and not the other way around. Now let's get it on!

Ludwig takes a piece of Stupididiotium out of a canister and puts it in a large machine. The machine turns on and does sciency stuff or something like that.

Ludwig: The power of the sun, in the palm of my hand.

He takes a sip of Sunny-D that he was been holding with one of his tentacles. We see what looks like a miniature sun in the middle of the machine. But Ludwig wasn't talking about the mini sun with the power of the sun line. He was talking about his Sunny-D.

Ludwig: The power of the sun in the palm of my hand. (now he's talking about the mini sun) This is most likely the greatest thing ever invented in the history of man, or Koopa, or Goomba or whatever species.

Koopa Reporter 3: So it's better than chocolate?

Ludwig: Ok, scratch that. This is the second greatest invention.

The machine then starts to malfunction. Wow! Who didn't see that coming?

Ludwig: Don't worry! It'll stabilize! I hope.

Various metal objects start to get pulled towards the mini sun.

Random Shy Guy Onlooker: Turn it off!

Ludwig: It will stabilize! Trust me!

Metal objects go into the mini sun.

Ludwig: Any minute now.

The place is falling apart.

Ludwig: Won't be long now.

Ludwig is suddenly struck by a bolt of electricity.

Ludwig: Ow owowoowowowowowowoowowowowow!!!

The chip on the shell shorts out.

Ludwig: Bugger.

Ludwig passes out. The machine continues to pull random metal objects into it, including but not limited to jewelry, a laptop, tools, paperclips, and Metal Mario. Wait, how can Mario be here and at his house at the same time? Uuuh, well, you see... Oh look! Something to distract you with! (the narrator runs away)

Looks like we need a new narrator. But who shall it- Oh, you want me to narrate? Fine. Where were we? (starts reading the script) Oh, yeah, the machine is doing that thing the last narrator mentioned, and if you don't know what that is then you are really stupid and it's a wonder you got this far into this Scribble. Anyway, the machine is doing the thingy, when it suddenly stops. Everyone looks and sees the janitor vacuuming the floor.

Shy Guy Janitor: Oh, sorry. I didn't have any place to plug in my vac, so I just unplugged this machine for a moment. That's right, kids! A janitor saved the city! Remember to keep your schools clean!

I thought Spider-Mar-

*pulls out a massive double-edged sword; one edge is engulfed in flames and the other is frozen with ice* Wait, if I'm the narrator, then who are you?

Uuuh, pizza guy?

Never mind. Anyway, the janitor has saved the city and becomes a celebrity. I'm talking merchandise, interviews, movie and TV rights, and all that other stuff. But since this story isn't about him...

We see the janitor crossing the street when he gets hit by a bus.

SGJ: I'm Ok!

Now let's see another character that will become a villain…

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