One day, all was well in the Mushroom Kingdom. As usual, Toad was cleaning up...
Toadsworth: Well, nice cleaning up, Toad. If you didn’t notice by now, I was being sarcastic!
Toad: Didn't sound like it.
Toadsworth: What... what do you mean by that?
Toad: Your voice didn't really have that sarcastic kind of ring in your voice.
Toadsworth: ... Shut up, Toad.
Toad: Whatever.
Toadsworth: Anyway, you forgot some spots over there. Look at all that gross mud!
Toad: That was you!
Toadsworth: Hardly, stop blaming others and do your job.
Toad: Whatever.
Toadsworth: Stop saying "whatever".
Toad: Whatever.
Toadsworth: Oooohhhh... You're making my blood pressure rise!
Toad: All right, al; right, I'm sorry!
Toadsworth: That’s better!
Toadsworth then walks off.
Toad: *sigh* What a job...
Toadsworth: Oh, and Toad, get rid of those stupid sunglasses.
Toad: Well, you finally noticed my new glasses.
Toadsworth: Yes, and they look stupid.
Toad: Fine, I'll get rid of them.
Toad puts his sunglasses away and gets out his cleaning chemicals to get rid of the nasty mud on the floor.
Toad: Uh... uh...
Toad then passes out.
Later...
Toad: Where am I... Mario?
Mario: It's-a me, Mario!
Toad: Why are you here, and where in the world am I?!
Mario: In the hospital, and I'm your emergency call!
Toad: ... Why, out of all people, would you be my emergency guy?
Mario: I don't make the rules, I just follow them.
Toad: You're off my emergency call!
Wario is walking down the hall
Toad: Wario, your my new emergency call guy!
Wario: I will not disappoint you!
Toad: Wait... Why is Wario randomly walking in the hospital hall?
Wario: I may be visiting! I do have a life!
Toad: Really?
Wario: ... No, the bank took my house today.
Toad: All right then...
Mario: I'll be right back.
Mario walks off and comes back.
Dr. Mario: Toad, you have breathed many cleaning chemicals. It's not save to breathe any or use any more for that matter.
Toad: That’s the stupidest thing I-
Dr. Mario: Who's the doctor here?
Toad: You are...
Dr. Mario: That's what Dr. Mario thought!
Back over at the castle…
Peach: Toad, you’re going to have to take a job over at the Toad Working Center, you know, doing paperwork for me and such.
Toad: Sounds stupid.
Peach: Toad, the dictionary has a picture of you next to the word stupid.
Toad: I know how to spell stupid, P-E-A-C-H.
Peach: ... Ok, Toad! You already had your pay cut while you were off work from cleaning, you don't want to have horrible pay at the Toad Working Center.
Toad: Fine.
Peach: Here's your desk.
Toad: It’s hardly a desk.
Peach: Toad, just-
Toad: It’s more a mini-desk.
Peach: Toad, just-
Toad: This desk would be good for a midget.
Peach: TOAD!
But then, Irish music plays and out comes Hornswoggle running around.
Toad: Heh, he’s small.
Hornswoggle then runs off
Toad: Heh... He’s also Irish. If you don't know who Hornswoggle is, just type it into Google.
Peach: Who are you talking to?
Toad: I don't know.
Toad then starts his desk job, typing into the computer whatever is on his pieces of paper.
Toadsworth: Toad!
Toad: What?
Toadsworth: Your lunch has been moved to 4 o'clock!
Toad: What?! Why?
Toadsworth: Well, in case you didn't know, other people need to have lunch and you need to fill in for them.
Toad: Uh... Fine, fine.
Later that day, after work, Toad goes back to his house.
Toadette: How was your new job, Toad?
Toad: Not good. I was starving, but my lunch doesn't start until four! You know I like seven small meals a day!
Toadette: I know, Toad...
Wario then walks into the kitchen and grabs himself a snack of chips.
Toadette: Don't fill up on junk food before supper, Wario!
Wario: I won't!
Toad: ... What's Wario doing here?
Wario: The bank took my house, so I'm living at your place for now.
Toadette: I let him.
Toad: Could this get any worse?
Two days later...
BEEP BEEP
Toadette: Uh... What are you doing up so early, Toad?
Toad: We’re going in a carpool. I should be the last one on, but no, Danny always gets to go last ever since his first day.
Toad then goes in the carpool, and then Danny comes in.
Toad: Enjoy the Today Show, Danny?
Danny: Not as much as the start of Regis and Kelly.
At work, Toad is having his lunch at around 2 o'clock (he eats lunch at 4 on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays). Toad is sipping on some milk.
Toadsworth: We have to get rid of some people, we have too many workers with us. We have to get rid of Joe. Could you fire him, John?
John: No way, we started at the same time.
Toad: Whine, whine, whine!
Toadsworth: What is it, Toad?
Toad: If you want to fire someone, fire them!
Toadsworth: Have you met Joe before, Toad?
Toad: Met him once... *sips on his milk* Didn't care for him.
Toadsworth: Well... could you fire him, Toad?
Toad: If you give me a free milk, you’ve got yourself a deal.
Later, Toad is sitting in Joe's office.
Joe: Uh, I was expecting Toadsworth here and-
Toad: Couldn't make it, you have thirty seconds to tell me why you shouldn't be fired!
Joe: Um... uh...
Toad: That’s not going to cut if for me... You're fired!
Joe: What...
Toadsworth: Sorry to hear this, Joe, good luck in the future.
Joe walks away in disbelief
Toadsworth: Nice job, Toad. Now, could you help me with another person...
Toad: You know the price.
Toad sips more milk through a straw.
Later, Toad opens the door to someone’s office.
Toad: Get your stuff packed up, Gladstone!
Gladstone: What... but...
Toad: ... You're fired!
Toad shuts the door.
Toadsworth: Nice job, Toad.
Toad: Have any more people you want fired> I'm still thirsty.
Toadsworth: You know, now that I think of it... How would you like this as your permanent job?
Toad: What, firing Gladstone?
Toad opens the door.
Toad: Gladstone!
Toadsworth shuts the door.
Toadsworth: No, firing people.
Toad: Oh, that works out too.
Back at Toad's House…
Toad: I got a promotion today, Toadette.
Toadette: That’s great, Toad!
Toad: Also, how about I take you out for lunch tomorrow?
Toadette: That sounds great, what about Wario?
Toad: Fine, he can come too.
Wario: (singing) I get a free meal! I get a free meal!
Toad: You've been having free meals for awhile, you've almost eaten everything in this house.
Wario: Still... *goes back to singing* I get a free meal! I get a free meal!
Toad: I... I don't know why you're living here. I mean... you could live with someone else. Like... Mario.
Wario: He wouldn't let me stay there.
Toad: He wouldn't?
Wario: No, Luigi didn't want me staying there.
Toad: I thought it was Mario's house.
Wario: Why would you think that?
Toad: I don't know if you have noticed, but on the top of Mario's house, it says "Mario".
Wario: Does he pay the bills?
Toad: I wouldn't know. I don't stalk him.
Wario: I mean, if Luigi is paying the bills, he gets to have half of the leadership of the house.
Toad: That doesn't really make any sense.
Wario: What doesn't?
Toad: "Half of the leadership". You probably could have said "half the ownership".
Wario: Oh yeah, that would work out better.
Toad: Yeah.
Wario: Ok then, if Luigi is paying the bills, he gets to have half the ownership of the house.
Toad: Not really.
Wario: Why not?
Toad: Mario pretty much owns the house. He signed some paper to say so.
Wario: Like a contract?
Toad: No, like ownership papers to the house and yard.
Wario: Oh. Still, if Luigi pays the bills-
Toad: No, stop. You don't even know if Luigi pays the bills to the house.
Wario: Well, I'm pretty sure Mario doesn't work much.
Toad: Luigi doesn't work either.
Wario: How do they get the money?
Toad: Saving Peach, I believe.
Wario: I’ve seen Luigi working at someone’s house as a plumber.
Toad: Oh yeah, I forgot they were plumbers.
Wario: Oh no, how could you forget people who wear overalls are plumbers?
Toad: I just forgot they were plumbers at the time. Also, lots of people wear overalls and are probably not plumbers.
Wario: Most plumbers do wear overalls.
Toad: Well true, but wearing overalls doesn't mean you're a plumber.
Wario: I guess, but most of the time, the person who is wearing the overalls is a plumber.
Toad: Wait, you wear overalls and you're not a plumber.
Wario: Yeah, I know.
Toad: You were just being a hypocrite.
Wario: No I wasn't.
Toad: Yes, you totally were.
Wario: No.
Toad: Yes, you were.
Wario: Whatever.
Toad: How did you lose your house again?
Wario: Wasn't paying the bills and the house rent.
Toad: Get a plumbing job.
Wario: Maybe I will.
Toad: Yeah, you've been living here for a long time, and you haven't even been trying to look for a job.
Wario: I'm trying-
Toad: Don't give me that, all you've been doing is watching The Price is Right, which I can't do because I have work, and you pig out all day.
Wario: I'll try.
Toad: You’d better.
Wario: All right then.
Toad: Yeah.
Next Day...
Toad: (sipping on some milk from a straw) Hmm... Milk.
Toadette: Nice office you got here, Toad.
Toad: I know, I got it from the promotion!
Wario: Decent.
Toad: I got executive keys to the bathroom! Who has to go?
Wario: I do.
Toad: No, you’re not an executive.
Toad sees someone walking down the hall
Toad: How could I forget, TERRY!
Terry the Toad walks into the office
Terry: Yes, T-Toad?
Toad looks at Toadette and Wario for a second, then looks back at Terry.
Toad: You're fired!
Terry: But I have family of four!
Toad: I fired someone awhile ago who had eight, now get your stuff packed and get out of here!
Terry walks off.
Later, back at Toad's house…
Toadette: How could you fire that man, Toad?
Toad: That’s my job.
Toadette: How come you never told me this was your job?
Toad: You never asked.
Toadette: ... Still, it was mean.
Toad: So? As long as I get the money.
Toadette: Whatever.
The next day, Toad is about to get in the carpool
Toad: If you want to keep your job, Donny, I suggest you get in the back.
Donny gets out of the car and into the backseat and Toad gets in the front seat.
Toad: That’s what I thought.
At the office...
Toad: So, Gary, you've been a janitor here for how long?
Wario and Toadette come in the office.
Wario: Toad, are you going to take us out to eat?
Toad: One second, Wario.
Wario: I'm huuunnnngggrrryyy!
Toad: Wario, can't you see I'm trying to fire this fool in a creative manner?
Wario: I'm huuunnnggrrrryyyy!
Toad: Here's some coins, get a snack over at the lunch break place that I don't know what it’s called place.
Wario: Fine.
Wario leaves..
Toad: Now, where was I... Oh yes, now-
A scream is heard.
Toad: ... Now, where was I again? Oh yes... now... As I was saying before-
Wario: *pant* Toad, *puff* come *pant* to *puff* the *puff* cafeteria *pant* place... *puff*
Toad: Why?
Wario: Just come...
Toad rushes over to the lunch room, and it appears to be a mess.
Peach: This is going to cost me a lot of money, meaning I will have to take some of the workers’ budget-
Toad: Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah... woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah... woah... woah... woah, woah, woah, woah... wooooaaaahhhh.... woah, woah... woah... now... woah... Did you say... cut into the workers’ budget?
Peach: Yes.
Toad: Not on my watch. Get me some cleaning chemicals, Wario.
Wario: You can't, it's not very healthy.
Toad: How come there are so many ways to make a mess, but only a few ways to clean the mess?
Toad looks around the place, and there is eaten food and mustard and an egg salad and some mud on the floor. Toad spots Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Toad: I'll have to use this stupid thing.
Toad uses it on the mud and it cleans off.
Toad: Wow, Mr. Clean does really work!
Toad puts some gloves on and puts the smelly egg salad in a garbage bag and then goes back with Mr. Clean Magic Eraser to clean the rest of the mess.
Toad: (singing) Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean!
Toad finishes off the job.
Toad: Wow, and I didn't even use cleaning chemicals! Thanks, Mr. Clean!
Mr. Clean: No problem! Remember, stay clean!
Toad: Heh, stay clean.
Toadsworth: Wait, didn't you use just a plain mop before?
Toad: Oh, I put cleaning chemicals on that.
Toadsworth: Oh.
Peach: Well Toad, since you did such a good job here, you get your old job back at the castle cleaning up! You get a raise!
Toad: Hooray! Something goes right!
Peach: But, you were probably going to make more money here firing people, but oh well.
Toad: Oh... Hmm...
Toadsworth: So, did you learn anything from all of this, Toad?
Toad: Yeah, I should have stuck to firing Gladstone.
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