Mario: Yeesh. What's with you?
Luigi (in ashes): I'll tell you what! I was playing soccer and Bowser got to use his Mega Strike. Then he mistook me for the ball and breathed fire all over me and threw me into my team's go-
Mario: Zzzzz...
Goomba: (somehow pointing at him from outside the window) Ha ha! You're boring!
Luigi: No I am-
Goomba: Zzzzzzz..
Luigi: Grr... That's it! I need to find a way to get people to respect me!
Hammer Brother (the one from Mario Party 8): You can join the police force! They have an opening.
Luigi: Wow! Thanks Hammer-
Hammer Brother: Zzzzzzzz..
Later that day...
Peach: You thought you had what it took to be on the police force?!
Melon: ...
Peach: Get out of here!
Melon: ... You're not a nice person!
He rolls out of the door as Luigi comes in.
Peach: Hello Luigi.
Luigi: Hello Pe-
Peach: You're hired!
Luigi: B-But I didn't-
Peach: Look, I don't want to fall asleep. I have a massage at 3. Anyway, go to the back of the police station and go train with the other rookies.
Luigi does what she said, wearing a new uniform, which adds to his lameness. Immediately a Chain Chomp shows up.
Chain Chomp: DO YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE A GOOD POLICEMAN?!
Luigi: Um... Yes?
Chain Chomp: Okay then. BUT 100 PUSH-UPS! GO MAGOT, GO!
He gets on the ground and begins doing push-ups. Then a Goomba comes and does remarkable push-ups faster than him.
Chain Chomp: YOU'RE LOSING TO A GOOMBA! ARE YOU PATHETIC OR WHAT?!
Luigi: *sniff... sniff...* I'm pathetic!
He begins crying.
Chain Chomp: Stop with the waterworks! Go train with the other rookies for shooting practice!
He goes to the other rookies, who are shooting at targets.
Koops: Hey Luigi! How's Mario?
Luigi: Eh. His nap should be ending by now.
Koops: Yawn... Please stop talking. Anyway, here's your Bullet Bill Pistol.
Luigi: Sweet! Not even Mario gets these!
In all of the excitement, he accidentally pulls the trigger. A miniature Bullet Bill ends up getting into a Blooper's eye.
Blooper: ARGH! MOTHER, I'M BLEEDING!
Luigi: ... Whoops.
Koops: See ya!
He runs away.
Chain Chomp: YOU MAGGOT! WE'RE NOT PAYING FOR HIS HOSPITAL BILLS, YOU ARE! GO RUN AROUND THE CITY! GO OR I'LL BITE YOU!
Luigi: Ahh!!!
He then runs out of the police station and begins jogging. Then, screams are heard as Wario exits the bank carrying a bag of money.
Wario: Hah! That's what happens when you forget to put a security system, suckers!
Luigi: Gasp! This is my chance to redeem myself!
He then runs to a nearby kart and gets in. He then drives away after Wario, who is in his car.
Paratroopa: Hey you! That's my kart!
Wario: (noticing Luigi) What do you know? It's that fraidy cat Luigi!
Luigi: I'm not a fraidy cat! I hope your tires like getting blown up!
He points his Bullet Bill Pistol and fires. But instead, a note comes out.
Luigi: "On union break, be back in 20 minutes. From Miniature Bullet Bills." This smarts.
Wario: Ha ha! Take this, loser!
He throws a Bob-omb at Luigi but it declines to explode.
Luigi: Ah ha ha! It seems like things are on another foot.
Wario: Aw snap. That was my last Bob-omb.
Luigi: Take this!
He throws the Bob-omb in front of Wario's car, which causes a huge explosion. Then Wario goes blasting off again and the money lands in Luigi's kart. He then drives back to the police station.
Luigi: Hey guys! I got the money back from that robber!
Koopa: Cool!
Lakitu: Awesome, man!
Chain Chomp: NO! NOT AWESOME!
Luigi: What?
Chain Chomp: In the process you preformed grand theft auto, blew up a street, and injured many people! YOU WOULD BE IN JAIL IF YOU HADN'T STOPPED THAT ROBBERY!
Peach: Yeah. Like, totally uncool! You're off the police squad!
Luigi: Well, would I at least impress Mario?
Peach: Yeah... No, not really.
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