A set widens up to reveal Ludwig with some tools next to Fracktail. A sea of nerds cheer in front of him, though the majority of the nerds (and by majority I mean all of them except E. Gadd, Francis, and Mario, who isn’t even a nerd) are cardboard figurines with voice speakers duck-taped to the back.

Ludwig: Hello, television! Welcome to the Ludwig show’s first airing! As a special way to get us started, I decided we would look at the circuitry within everyone’s favorite dragon… Fracktail!

E. Gadd: Sounds great, but didn’t he experience corruption in his central databank, and had his threat level upgrade to jelly roll number one?!

Francis: JELLY ROLL NUMBER ONE? HOLY KITTENS ON A STICK, THAT’S RARE!

Mario: I like jelly rolls.

Ludwig: Exactly! The only witnesses of Fracktail’s rumored jelly roll number one damage are an idiot, a butterfly thing that disappeared off the face of the planet, and a hand that hasn’t spoken since Mario took him out of the chest it was in for 1,500 years. With a little archeological dig, I found this guy. Or something like that. Now stop interrogating me so we can look inside. As for kids watching this show, don’t do this at home!

Ludwig uses a jack hammer on Fracktail’s nose.

Ludwig: All right, in here we have Fracktail’s motherboard, where-

Mario: If there’s a motherboard, where’s the daddyboard, the brotherboard, the sisterboard, and the annoying neighbor who never stops asking for cups of sugar-board?

Ludwig: Erm.. They’re in the back.

E. Gadd: Well, move on, move on! If we’ve found the motherboard already, who knows what information we can retrieve!

Ludwig: Right. Let’s see what we can find in here. OH MY DAD!

Francis: I prefer believing in Shigeru Miyamoto, instead, but what’d you find?

E. Gadd: I bet he found the source of the Jelly Roll number one threat level!

Mario: I think he found a grilled cheese sandwich.

Ludwig: No, I just shocked myself touching the root of the antenna.

Francis: But according to my calculations, you shouldn’t be electrocuted by wiring in a broken robot, right?

E. Gadd: Actually, Jelly Roll number one threat level is rumored to keep its electronic charge in the area where the cause of it is forced in.

Ludwig: Guys, don’t get your hopes up, it’s probably just me triggering a spark. The only thing that can upgrade a device to Jelly Roll number one is when the 404 computer hamsters can’t be found, and remember, Mario is the ONLY witness that can actually speak to us. He probably just spat out gibberish.

Mario: Ooh, I like rubber fish!

Ludwig: Exactly.

Francis: If what you say is true, then you won’t be able to find any 404 computer hamsters if Mario was actually right.

Ludwig: You guys are going to make me search, aren’t you?

Mario: Egg zacktly!

Ludwig: Fine. I’ll go in through the mouth.

Francis: Can I have your insect collection when you die?

Ludwig: NO.

Mario: That’s my line from Hotel Mario!

E. Gadd: Now boys, let’s give Ludwig a little more support.

Ludwig: THANK Y-

E. Gadd: I don’t need anything of yours, but I’ll be sure to come to your funeral.

Ludwig: I’m going to go in just to get away from all of you!

Ludwig goes in, and after five minutes of searching, which you don’t know about because those minutes were commercials, Ludwig comes out of the hole he made previously with the jack hammer.

Francis: DARN IT, HE’S ALIVE.

E. Gadd: I WANTED HIS LUCKY WRENCH.

Mario: I WANTED HIS CHOCOLATE.

Ludwig: IGNORING COMMENTS… I didn’t find any.

Francis: What?

Ludwig: I didn’t find any.

E. Gadd: Preposterous.

Francis: All the 404 computer hamsters were gone. I found a 404 computer aardvark, though.

Ludwig lifts it out of the hole. Fracktail turns on.

Fracktail: 404 COMPUTER HAMSTERS NOT FOUND. THREAT LEVEL UPGRADED TO JELLY ROLL NUMBER ONE… DANGER. DANGER. SEARCHING FOR 404 COMPUTER AARDVARKS… 404 COMPUTER AARDVARKS NOT FOUND. THREAT LEVEL UPGRADED TO JELLY ROLL LEVEL TWO. WAY TO GO, GENIUS.

Ludwig: I’m just happy we got this on film.

Ludwig is attacked by what seems to be a mob of Frackles, and the camera falls over on its side, followed by a disconnection.