One day Mario comes home tired from traveling for two weeks to rescue Peach, ending with him beating up Bowser. He goes to his couch and checks his messages.

BEEP

Wario: Hey Mario! Thought I would leave a call and say a stole PEACH! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! How evil.

Mario: I bet you didn't even steal her.

Wario: And if you said what I thought you just said you’re... WRONG! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ... No... The great Wario is lying...

Mario: That's what I thought.

BEEP

Bowser: Hey there! You know Peach, I think I'm going to steal Daisy instead of you... It's because... you don't like being with me... It hurts my feelings... *sob...*

Bowser starts to cry.

Mario: Hehe... Bowser's A BIG WIMP! I'm telling everyone on the Internet!

BEEP

Lemmy: Mario, you’re not allowed to go to my Land anymore, you’re just a big moron when you’re there. Now nobody can send me any Interviews without thinking-

Mario goes to the next message really quick.

BEEP

Goomba: Sorry! I just think your message thing is funny! "Hello! I'm Mario! Luigi will get the phone ‘cause I'm home right now! And more and more funny and stuff... Ok, bye.

BEEP

Goomba: (breaking out in tears while laughing): I'm so sorry! FUUUUUUNNNNNNNNYYYY!

BEEP

Goomba: HAHAHAHAHA!

BEEP

Roy: Hey Mario! Today I saw you gave me a message that... hurt my feelings! You’re mean!

Mario: Hehe... Red and a yellow tie....

BEEP

Luigi: Hey Bro! I really, and I mean REALLY, need your help... Wario and Bowser got me, Bro! I need 800 coins by Wednesday or Bowser and Wario are going to embarrass me for the rest of my life!

Mario checks the date.

Mario: Only Tuesday. Gosh Luigi! Call me when you have five hours left! Then I'll care! You still have... 6 hours and 40 minutes left, you jerk!

BEEP

Goomba: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

BEEP

Koopa: YOU DID NOT HURT MY FEELINGS! I NEED SOMEONE TO HURT MY FEELINGS!

Mario: What a wimp!

BEEP

Boo: WHY?! WHY!?

Mario: I don't know.

BEEP

Goomba: HAHAHAHAHA! FUNNY! HA!

BEEP

Luigi: Come on, Bro! Where are you when I need you?

BEEP

Peach: Hi Mario! Want to go out sometime and Bowser may steal me?

Mario sends a message to Peach

Mario: Hhe's going for Daisy! Didn't Bowser message you like he messaged me when he me Peach?

BEEP

Goomba: It's not as funny as the sixth time... HA!

Mario: Get a life!

BEEP

Toad: WHY?! WHY WON'T YOU FIX MY HOUSE?! NOW YOU OWN ME 224 COINS FOR REPAIRS! I CALLED THE PEOPLE TO FIX THE HOUSE AND NOW YOU OWN ME... 224 COINS! HAVE A HEART, MARIO!

Mario: I would... but... I'm in Rogueport!

Mario sends him a message saying that.

BEEP

Fireball: Mario! Would you come help me and Roy with the show?

Mario: Fine!

So Mario does.