Warning: ... Ah, you know the drill.
Luigi: Welcome back, everyone! And yes, Toad was arrested for trying to tear off my leg. However, I was able to bail him out so we could continue the series.
Toad: It would have been better for me if you just left me in my cell.
Luigi: Don't say things like that! Where would I be without my lovely assistant? Back on the street selling multi-colored buttons? Besides... *sniff* You're my best friend...
Toad: Wow, that really speaks to me.
Luigi: What does it say?
Toad: It says: "After the series is over, I'm gonna mess you up like Picasso."
Luigi: Good luck. Now, we're gonna start things off by asking the viewers what the next bone-buster should be! Call now!
Toad: This won't end well...
Luigi: Ooh! We have our first caller! Hello, you're live on Luigi's Bone Busters! What's your bone-buster?
Goomba: (whispering) Shh! Hehe! Dude, shut up...
Luigi: Hello?
Goomba: Um, hello. Hehe! Um, do you, uh, have Prince Albert in a can?
Luigi: Um... What?
Goomba: Hehe! Well, um... You’d better, uh, let him out! HA, HA, HA, HA!!!
The Goomba hangs up.
Toad: That was a real intelligent caller.
Luigi: So was your mom. Now, onto my favoriite bone buster that I've been planning for quite some time now...
Flashback, 2 hours after the events of Episode 2...
Luigi: Ack! I've run out of Ideas for Episode 3! I wish Toad were here!
Toad barges in and whips a slab of concrete at Luigi.
Toad: You bailed me out, remember?
Luigi: Ow... Oh, yeah. I forgot about you, Toad... What was I thinking of again? Oh yeah. A bone buster... Ooh, think... Toad, shot out of a cannon... No...
Toad: You’d better not be thinking up bone busters. I've got another slab with your name on it.
He whips another slab at Luigi's head.
Luigi: I'VE GOT THE PERFECT PLAN!!!
End Flashback...
Luigi: Such wonders a concussion can bring you. Toad, follow me!
Luigi drags Toad and throws him into the Red Fire yet again. He then drives him to Dry Dry Desert, where they are overlooking a simply massively deep trench.
Luigi: Toad, you'll be trying to cross this.
Toad: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET ACROSS THAT?!
Luigi: Oh, yeah. I forgot about the bridge we're gonna build.
Luigi blindfolds Toad and begins to work on the bridge. He then removes the blindfold and introduces him to a truly horrible bridge to come into visual contact with. It is not nailed together like it should be, no, it is roughly stuck together with MASKING-TAPE.
Toad: O_O
Luigi: What do you think?
Toad: O_O
...
Toad: NO.
Luigi: What?
Toad: THERE IS NO WAY I'M CROSSING THAT THING.
Luigi: Not even if I remove 3,000 coins from your naughty language debt?
Toad: Err... NO!
Luigi: I'll go as high as 6,000 coins.
Toad: SOLD.
Toad cautiously steps onto the bridge, unsure weather or not he'll fall off and die, or have a heart attack, fall off, and die.
Toad: L-Luigi...
Luigi: Yes?
Toad: I-is th-that M-MASKING TAPE?!
Luigi: Maybe...
Toad: IT IS! GET ME OFF OF THIS-
The bridge snaps in two, and Toad still remains in midair cartoonishly. He then looks down.
Toad: ...thing. AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH…
Toad's screams trail off as he slowly fades into the darkness of the trench. Luigi peers down.
Luigi: I wonder how far down that goes... Anyway, we'll try to get a crew down there to find him.
Hours later, a crane fishes Toad out of the trench. Toad is now back at the surface, shaken and bruised.
Toad: *whimper*
Luigi: Well, we've wasted almost half the show’s time getting you out of that trench. So now it's time for Dare of the Day!
Toad: Oh, NO.
Luigi: Oh! We have a caller! Go ahead, what's your dare?
Bowser: Um, okay. Uhhh... Get locked in a room with chocolate and Ludwig.
Luigi: Ooh! Is that what happened to that one Toad that went in there?
Bowser: There was nothing left of the poor little guy.
Luigi: This is gonna be good! Toad, are you ready?!
CLICK ONE OF THE FOLLOWING LINKS IF YOU WANT TOAD TO SAY:
YES!!!
NO!!!
OHHH, THIS ONE'S-A FOR YES:
Toad: YES!!!
Luigi: Great enthusiasm, Toad!
Toad: W-wait, WHAT?! I didn't say that! Honest! The author made me say it!
Luigi: Well, it's too late for that, my red-dotted friend! Into the room you go!
OHHH, THIS ONE'S-A FOR NO:
Toad: NO!!!
Luigi: Too bad for that, my red-dotted friend! Into the room you go!
Toad enters the room with Ludwig.
Ludwig: Hello, Toad.
Toad: Hello...
A mechanical arm drops a chocolate bar in the center of the room. Ludwig lunges for it and tackles Toad to the ground.
Ludwig: IT'S MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!
Toad: Nooo!
Ludwig devours the chocolate and his eyes become bloodshot and quite scary-looking, enough to give a four-year-old nightmares for a month.
Ludwig: MORE.
Toad: There is no more.
Ludwig: MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!!!
Toad: Ack!
Ludwig tackles Toad and begins pummeling him to a pulp. While this unbelievable carnage is proceeding, Luigi and Bowser are watching through the window munching popcorn.
Bowser: Is there any more Dill left?
Luigi: Yeah, here you go.
Bowser: Thanks, bud.
Toad: NOO!!! MY APPENDIX!!!
Luigi: You're doing fine, Toad!
Toad: THAT'S IT!!! I'LL PAY THE DEBT!!! IN FACT, I'LL DOUBLE IT BY SAYING EVERY CURSE WORD KNOWN TO MAN OR MUSHROOM!!! JUST MAKE IT STOP!!!
Luigi: I'm afraid I can't do that.
Toad: FINE!!! @#$@%^$^$^&#%$@^$@%$%#%$#$@#%%$##$%%^&*&*%$#$^%#$^^$#!!!
Luigi: :O
Bowser: :O
Ludwig: :O
Mario: :P
Toad: >:)
Luigi: Well, Toad, you've just earned yourself 2,000 extra coins onto your debt. Well, Ludwig, it's time to go.
Toad: Wait wait wait... If Ludwig stopped a second later... I could have just WAITED?!
Luigi: See, that's what they call "patience".
Toad: D'oh!
Luigi: And to top it all off, this is the final episode.
Toad: IT IS?!
Luigi: Yup, so where's that giant pile of coins you owe us?
Toad: I... I... NO!!!
Toad runs out of the studio screaming his head off. And THAT, my friends, is the canned TV show that I made up. After this ordeal, Toad was forced to pay the debt of over one million coins, leaving Luigi with a solid gold mansion, which was destroyed by King Boo a day later. They then had to live with Luigi’s extremely dumb brother.
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