Announcer: AND NOW, LIVE FROM THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM, IT’S-
Audience: MARRIO NIGHT LIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Announcer: AND NOW, HE IS SHORT, HAS A MUSTACHE AND AN ITALIAN ACCENT, HERE’S MARIOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mario: Thank you. And welcome to-
Audience: MARIO NIGHT LIVE!
Mario: Tonight, we have a great lineup of shows including a musical number that I do with my arch-nemesis, Bowser.
Bowser: There’s no way that I am singing with that idiot.
Mario: Too bad. And now a word from our sponsor.
Mushrooms. They save your life.
Mario: Thank you. And now here’s our first skit.
Ludwig’s Laboratory
Ludwig is fixing a remote like substance.
Ludwig: Oh. Welcome to my laboratory. Now get out.
Director: CUT! Ludwig, we have been through this. In order to do Ludwig’s Laboratory, we have to show your laboratory.
Ludwig: I am not showing anybody my inventions! They’re too private.
Director: Would you do it for 5,000 coins per episode?
Ludwig: Hello and welcome to-
Director: Wait, and action.
Ludwig: Hello and welcome to my laboratory. Today I will be showing you my newest invention, THE ELECTRONIC DETONATOR!
Ludwig laughs maniacally.
Ludwig: The electronic detonator is a detonator that sends off explosive electric currents when it goes off. (boringly) With me today is my talk-a-lot brother Morton.
Morton: Thank you Ludwig and I must say that I am glad to be here today and funny thing about a detonator, that it will automatically goes off when you press a button, I mean what’s up with that and why is your name Ludwig when you were really named after a musician not a mad scientist and hey why is it that-
Ludwig: Thank you, Morton. Morton here is going to demonstrate how to use the detonator.
Morton: You’re going to let me press the button that sends the detonator off?
Ludwig: ARE YOU CRAZY?! I wouldn’t do anything that stupid. Umm, go stand over on the x.
Morton: You mean the one that says do not stand on this because the electronic detonator is attached to it?
Ludwig: Oh, that. Ignore that, I was only doing it to scare you. Now go stand on it and start babbling about your life.
Morton: Ok. Funny thing about my life you see it all started on a hot hot day in July when…
Ludwig: (ignoring Morton) Now I will press this button to show how the sparks are going to hit my brother painfully and then he will never talk again.
Ludwig presses the button but it doesn’t go off.
Ludwig: What?! I don’t understand. It supposed to go off like this-
KABOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Ludwig is coughing and sparks are flying from him.
Morton: (still babbling) Hey Ludwig are you all right?
Ludwig: Looks *zap* like the wires *zap* have been *zap* crossed. *zap* See you next *zap* on my *zap* laboratory *zap*.
Morton: Bye. So like I was saying-
Mario: Too bad Morton hasn’t stopped talking. And now for a commercial.
Luigi walks in dressed like Waluigi.
Luigi: Uhhhhhh… Buy cake!
He runs out.
Mario: And now time for Slumber Party.
Slumber Party
Peach: Hi, I m Princess Peach. And this is my…
Peach, Daisy, Birdo, and Toadette: SLUMBER PARTY!
Peach: So I was thinking, ladies, that tonight we should talk about pink.
Birdo: Peach, we talk about the color pink all the time. I mean, what’s so great about it?
Peach: What?! What’s there not to talk about pink? It’s absolutely the best color ever. Plus it’s cool, girly, and it’s-
Daisy: The only thing that her brain is made of. Face it, Peach has always liked the color pink.
Peach: Fine, if you don’t want to talk about pink then what should we do?
Toadette: I know, why don’t we do-
All: TRUTH OR DARE.
Peach: I go first. *spins bottle* Daisy, I dare you to speak leet for the rest of the slumber party.
Daisy: WHAT?! That is ridiculous, only Cornpie would make someone do that… Never mind.
Peach: Ahem…
D415y: F1n3, j3rk.
D415y spins, and gets Toadette.
D415y: T04d3tt3, Truth, wh1ch d0 y0u l1k3 b3tt3r, M4r10 0r Lu1g1?
Toadette: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Well, I don’t re-
Parakarry walks in.
Parakarry: Peach, a package arrived for you, it’s a big one too.
Peach: Well, bring it in, then get out, this is girls only.
Parakarry does so.
Peach: I’ll open it later. Toadette, you spin now.
Toadette: But I- never mind. Ok… Birdo, I dare you to run around the castle naked.
Birdo: How can I do that if I don’t wear clothes in the first place?
D415y: Th3n run 4r0und w1th cl0th35 0n.
Birdo: NO!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT, I’D EVEN KISS WARIO!
A very silent snicker is heard from the giant box… but no one notices. Birdo gets clothes and walks out.
Peach: Well, maybe now we should open the box, since we can’t continue until Birdo gets back.
They open the box with a crowbar.
Wario: HAH HAH! I have you now, my pretties!
Peach: I can’t believe that you got in here. GET OUT.
Wario: No, I don’t think so, until after I get my well-deserved kiss.
D415y: 1 d0n’t th1nk s0, f4t50. G3t 0ut 0r d13!
Wario: Well in that case I think that you deserve this.
5 minutes later…
Birdo comes into the room ignorant of what has happened.
Birdo: I can’t believe you made me do that!
She then sees Wario tying them up.
Wario: Well they wouldn’t cooperate, will you kiss me?
Birdo shoots an egg in Wario’s mouth. Hestarts choking and falls out the window. Birdo then unties them.
Toadette: Thanks Birdo. What can we do to make it up to you?
D415y and Peach slap their heads.
Birdo: Well, then I want you to run around the castle naked.
The Other 3: BUT, BUT-
Birdo: No butts!
Others: ???
5 minutes later…
Birdo: Well that’s all for tonight, see you on our next...
All: SLUMBER PARTY!
Birdo: Keep running!
Mario: Very amusing. Now a commercial break.
Ludwig walks up.
Ludwig: Hello, I am on this smart commercial, not like all those dumb past commercials, this is the best commercial you’ll ever see!
A piano falls on him because this is the worst commercial evah!
Mario: Uhhhhh… Here’s Ask Wendy, then the musical numbah!
Bowser: NEVAH!
Ask Wendy
And now it’s time to ask Wendy!
Wendy: Hi, I’m Wendy. I try to help people with their problems. Here’s the first letter of the night. Ahem:
Dear Wendy
Poyo poyo poy poyo poy poy poyo! Poyo poyo poy poyo poyo poy poyo poy POYO?!
From Kirby
Wendy: Well Kirby, YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO USE YOUR REAL NAME, IT MUST BE A NICKNAME ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM! AND LEARN ENGLISH, WE CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU! DAD!
*CRASH* Kirby appears in front of Wendy holding the final cutter.
Wendy: 0_0
The following scenes are WAY too graphic to be shown here.
Mario: That was weird. Anyway, time for me to be singing with my enemy Bowser!
Bowser: NO! Nothing you can say or do will make me do this!
Mario: If you do this I’ll let you kidnap Peach and win for once.
Peach: Excuse me?
Bowser: It’s showtime!
The curtain closes, then opens again and Mario and Bowser are there with those tuxedoes and top-hats seen in old musicals. They also are holding those funny canes.
From Phineas and Ferb
Mario and Bowser: 1, 2, 3. He’s my neme neme sis, my neme neme sis he’s my neme neme sis, my nemesis.
Mario: Well he’s that Koopa, with a shell. Kidnapping Peach, and he does it so well.
Bowser: And he’s that guy dressed in red, oh how I wish that he was dead.
The music stops.
Mario: Bowser, you can’t use the word dead on this show.
Bowser: You just used it too!
Mario: … Cue music!
Bowser and Mario: Because… he’s my neme neme sis my neme neme sis, my nemesis.
Mario: Well he’s that king in charge of a land, with a beach and a lot of sand.
Bowser: He’s that guy with an Italian accent, and… and... an Italian accent.
Mario then jumps into the air and is caught by Bowser, who then throws him into the air and then does a double axle. Mario then lands on Bowser’s head and the song comes to its conclusion.
Mario and Bowser: Because he’s my neme neme sis my neme neme sis, cause he’s my NEME SIS!!!
Mario: Neme…
Bowser: SIS YEAH!!!
The audience claps so hard, it can be heard in Seattle.
Mario: Thank you, well that concludes-
Bowser: Wait just a darn pickin’ minute. You said that I could kidnap Peach.
Mario: Yes, I did say that.
Bowser: Quick! Ludwig, Morton, and Wendy, let’s get out of here before he changes his mind!
Bowser then swipes Peach and his kids and flies back to his Kastle.
Mario: Well that’s the end of tonight’s episode of…
Audience: MARIO NIGHT LIVE!
Mario: See you next time.
Luigi: You’re not really going to let Bowser have Peach are you?
Mario: Just for a week (so I can spend time with my cheese), then I’ll go save her again.
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