Narrator: One day Mario was crying.
There is a glass of milk spilled on the ground, Mario is seen crying.
Mario: Oh h!y!? Why did this have to happen-a?! It was my only friend! And now it’s dead! I’m to blame. I’ve got to turn myself in!
Luigi walks into the kitchen. Mario hides the cup… poorly, behind his back.
Luigi: Hi Mario.
Mario: I DIDN’T KILL ANYBODY!
Luigi: Right.
Mario: I SWEAR TOAD DID IT!
Luigi: Just shut up, moron.
Mario: Okey dokey.
Luigi: You want to play madlibs?
Mario: What is this madlibs-a?
Luigi: It’s a game where you use words to make a story.
Mario emits a high-pitched scream.
Luigi: What?
Mario: IT’S JUST LIKE SCHOOL!
Mario runs and “hides” behind a plunger.
Luigi: I see you, Mario.
Mario: No you don’t! I mean (poorly imitating Princess Peach) there’s no Mario here, you silly.
Luigi: MARIO!
Mario: All right, fine Luigi, you found me.
Luigi: This game isn’t like school, it’s fun.
Mario: Okey dokey.
Luigi: You can put the plunger down now.
Mario: I don’t wanna.
Luigi: Mario.
Mario: Fine.
Mario puts the plunger down.
Luigi: Do you feel better now, Mario?
Mario: No.
Luigi: Let’s just play the game!
Luigi pulls out the madlibs.
Luigi: All right Mario, I’ll tell you what I need, you answer those things back to me.
Mario: Okey-
Luigi: Don’t say it again!
Mario: (whispering) –dokey.
Luigi: I heard that!
Mario: No you didn’t.
Luigi shakes his head.
Luigi: Why do I put up with this?
Mario: Because you love me!
Mario kisses Luigi on the cheek, in cartoon fashion. Luigi yells.
Mario: Now let’s play.
Luigi: All right Mario, I need a -
Mario: Mayonnaise!
Luigi: You don’t even know what I need.
Mario: Sorry.
Luigi: I need a fictional name.
Mario: POOPYPANTS!
Luigi: Fine, we’ll use Poopypants.
Mario laughs hysterically.
Mario: You said pants!
Luigi: Shut up! I need a color.
Mario: Lavender!
Luigi: And I need a color.
Mario: I just gave you a color!
Luigi: I need another color!
Mario: Oh, ok, how about Madonna Leotard Pink!
Luigi: Right. Now give me a body part.
Mario: BUTT!
Luigi: You’re not going to take this seriously, are you?
Mario: (happy) No!
Luigi: I knew it.
Mario smiles a big dopey,smile.
Luigi: Just give me another body part.
Mario: UVULA! That’s fun to say! Uvula, Uvula, Uvula, UVULA!
Luigi: Shut up! And give me a singular noun.
Mario: MAYONNAISE!!!
Luigi: All ght.
Mario: This is fun! I’m having fun, aren’t you having fun,Luigi?!
Luigi: You have no idea.
Mario: What’s next?
Luigi: Present tense verb.
Mario: FART!
Luigi: I need a plural noun.
Mario: Vikings!
Luigi: (Five more sessions with Doctor Simmons after this, thank God I got a discount to therapy for Christmas.)
Mario: Luuuigi?
Luigi: Oh, right, give me a big number.
Mario: One million billion!
Luigi: And another one.
Mario: 2.
Luigi looks stunned for a second.
Luigi: (Oh right, it’s Mario, they’re supposed to be stupid answers.)
Mario: What was that?
Luigi: Oh nothing. Now give me two countries.
Mario: Czheliksovalkia.
Luigi: You mean Czechoslovakia?
Mario: Yeah sure, whatever.
Luigi: And another one.
Mario: I know that! Geez, I can remember five lines up.
Luigi: (sarcastically) Sorry.
Mario: Oh, you wanna go?!
Luigi: Maybe later.
Mario: Okey dokey. Anyway, use Yugoslavia.
Luigi: Right. Now give me a food.
Mario: CHUNKY GOAT CHEESE!
Luigi: Thank God, we only have three more questions. Give me a plural noun.
Mario: Toads’ heads.
Luigi: Your favorite song.
Mario: It’s Raining Men.
Luigi: And finally an adjective.
Mario: Smelly!
Luigi: Finally we’re done.
Luigi starts laughing happily.
Mario: Read me the story, read me the story, read me the story!
Luigi: SHUT UP, IF YOU SHUT UP I’LL READ YOU THE STORY!
Mario starts crying.
Luigi: Look, I didn’t mean it that way. Cheer up, sweety, and I’ll read you that story.
Mario: YAY! It’s story time!
Luigi: The title is “An Odd Animal”.
Mario giggles in delight.
Luigi: The Poopypants is an animal that has Lavender fur with Madonna Leotard Pink spots on its Butt and Uvula. Its tail is shaped like a(n) Mayonnaise, which it uses to Fart Vikings. An adult Poopypants may weigh more than One million billion pounds and stand over 2 feet high. The Poopypants can be found only in Czechoslovakia and Yugoslavia. Although its favorite food is Chunky Goat Cheese, it also likes to eat Toads’ heads. If you ever see a(n) Poopypants, be sure not to ever sing “It's Raining Men”. That song makes it Smelly. Instead, give it a few Chunky Goat Cheese and be on your way.
Mario: YAY!!!
Luigi: You helped make that story, Mario.
Mario: Luigi, can I get a Poopypants for Christmas?
Luigi: No Mario, they’re not real, I only told you that story so you would forget your spilled milk.
Mario: Oh no! Spilled milk!
Mario starts crying loudly and obnoxiously again.
Narrator: And so it was that Luigi was no better off now than he was 127 lines ago. And everybody was blissfully, blissfully happy, except for Mario because of his spilled milk.
Mario: SPIIIILLLLED MIIIIIIIIILLLLLLKKKKK!!!
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