Warning: The stunts performed on this program are not to be attempted by anyone, anytime, or anywhere. Seriously, do not try this at home. Your mom worries about you.
Luigi: What? Episode 2? Sweet! We didn't get canned from the network!
Toad: What? Episode 2? NOO!!! We didn't get canned from the network!
Luigi: Time for a whole new episode of bone-busting fun! Yahoo!
Toad: NOO!!!
Luigi: Well, it's time for a show parody! Fear Factor, only with Toad!
Toad: Oh, @#$%#$.
Luigi: What's your absolute worst fear that will guarantee you will collapse into a hissy-fit if we make you do it?
Toad: Oh, like I'm gonna tell you.
Luigi: Fine, we'll have to do something else. In the meantime, have this nice glass of Truth Serum. Err- I mean, apple... juice.
Toad: ... Did you... go? In it?
Luigi: NO!!! IT'S NORMAL APPLE JUICE!!! NOW DRINK IT!!! ALL OF IT!!!
Toad: Okay, sheesh!
Toad drinks it and his pupils become extraordinarily large.
Luigi: What is your worst fear?
Toad: BEING FORCED THROUGH A LANDMINE FIELD.
Luigi: Well folks, you heard him!
Toad: Oh, @#$%#$.
Luigi then tosses Toad into the Red Fire, drives to Dry Dry Desert, and plants over 100 landmines while Toad is blindfolded. He then un-blindfolds Toad and now the real game begins.
Luigi: Well, Toad, as the text above said, the real game begins. Now, make your way through the minefield!
Toad: NO WAY!!!
Luigi: Fine then, I guess there's no point of forcing you to do something that you don't want to- GOTCHA!
Luigi pushes Toad head first into a landmine and it blows up cartoonishly in his face.
Toad: Ow...
Luigi: Don't stop there! You have another ten feet to go!
Toad: I'm hating this show more and more each day...
Toad is about to take another step, but sees an irregularity in the dirt. He points at it and steps around it, only to stumble upon another mine, causing another explosion.
Toad: Ow... Why am I even trying?
Luigi: Because you get paid 100 coins every time you participate in a stunt!
Toad: ... Really?
Luigi: Yup.
Toad: WAHOO!!! RICH TIME!!!
Toad belly flops into 3 landmines in a row.
Luigi: (muttering) Providing that you survive...
Toad: What?
Luigi: What?
Toad: Whatever the challenge, lay it on me! I'll do ANYTHING for muchos cash!
Luigi: Well... I guess I should tell you about the hidden fee...
Toad: WHAT HIDDEN FEE?!
Luigi: The hidden fee on sub-paragraph 7 on the contract you signed. It clearly states...
Luigi slips on reading glasses and pulls out the contract.
Luigi: "Toad must participate in every stunt for a pay of 100 coins, providing that he survives them. However, once the series of Luigi's Bone Busters comes to an end, he is required to pay exactly 200,000 coins. Plus tax."
Toad: YOU LITTLE @#$%@#$%@#$%@$%!!!
Luigi: "Also, any insult/vulgar/not nice/slander spewed from Toad will add to the debt, increasing it by 300 coins."
Toad: WHY YOU- Ulp!
Luigi: Now, to try something new! At the end of every episode, we shall top it off with our new little program we like to call, Dare of fhe Day!
Toad: What is this, kindergarten?
Luigi: For you, yes! Now, we accept a dare from our audience or viewers, and you must do it, or be fired.
Toad: Yes!
Luigi: Out of a cannon.
Toad: Eep!
Luigi: This dare is from Mario.
Toad: Oh, no.
Luigi: "Eat all of my cheese and say it to my face."
Toad: Piece of cake.
Luigi: Oh, really? Do you remember that one time a Goomba broke into our house and ate all our food?
Toad: No.
Luigi: Well, then! It's time for a Flashback!
Flashback...
A Goomba is rummaging through the cupboards eating all the cheese and food. Mario and Luigi enter, however, and Mario gasps in horror.
Mario: NOO!!!
Mario lunges at the Goomba and pummels him to a pulp.
Goomba: Ahh! Noo!
Mario: Take-a this! Take-a that! And-a one o’these-a!
Mario picks up the fridge and crushes the Goomba.
Luigi: You know, you could have just jumped on him...
Mario tackles Luigi.
End Flashback...
Toad: Wow...
Luigi: So, are you gonna do it?
Toad: No.
Luigi: Fine, I'll ready the cannon.
Toad: Okay, okay! I will!
Toad is taken to Toad's House by Luigi.
Toad: Aren't you coming in?
Luigi: Are you kidding me?! I'm not going in there! It's Mario's toy-time hour! If I disturb him while he's playing with his toys, he'll kill me!
Toad: *gulp* Well, here goes...
Toad climbs in through the window and makes his way to the kitchen, sneaking past Mario watching The Teletubbies. He notices a cupboard with messy, purple wax crayon scribbled on it. It messily forms the warning "cHeEze! nO touCH!"
Toad: Wow, I didn't even know Mario could write.
Toad climbs up to the cupboard and climbs in, discovering a chute. He slides down it, revealing a giant, metal, locked vault. Luigi calls Toad on his cell phone.
Toad: How did you find my cell number?
Luigi: I dunno. Anyway, the combination is "Yummy".
Toad: Okay.
Toad types in "Yummy" and the vault swings open. Mario is standing right there.
Toad: ... What?! I... I thought you were- You were just- I though you... Uh oh...
Mario: Hi-yah!
Mario tackles Toad and pummels him to a pulp. Toad exits Mario's house, and kicks Luigi in the shin. Luigi falls over.
Luigi: Ow! What was that for? I only wanted to see if you could pull it off!
Toad: Pull what off?! Your leg?! Okay!
Luigi: Aah! End Transmission! END TRANSMISSION!!! PLEASE!!!
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