*fake cheering in background*

Shadow Mario: (whispering) You know, you could have made a better tape recording… (aloud) Oh, hello… Um, yes, here’s our newest torture device today. And can anyone remind me what I did to deserve this?

Luigi: Something to do with submitting too many bad stories that didn’t get in.

Shadow Mario: Right… Eh, cue theme song!

Dada dadadada!
Another story, another torture
Another big time bore!
Another big fat door,
Whacking you in the face!
Let's go in there now!
Pop some good corn, how?
Now let's see who's in today!
Shadow Mario!
(Why me?)
Luigi!
(Because you don’t know any better.)
They don't know,
What's coming their way,
Could be a big misspell!
Nobody knows yet,
Now go through the door!

They go through some swinging doors into a theater with broken seats and trash everywhere on the ground.

Shadow Mario: Oh no, are they going to make us learn things?

Luigi: AAH! KNOWLEDGE! GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY GET IT-

Shadow Mario: Can it!

Roy was becoming very unhappy due to the fact that winter was soon to come to Sky Land.'What should I do?' he thought.

Shadow Mario: Doesn’t the fact that he’s above the clouds mean that he doesn’t feel winter’s effects?

Luigi:
Roy: I’ve got it! I’ll put a giant space heater near me so I don’t get cold!

'I know! I'll use my climate control power to warm things up and create warm fronts! No snow, no cold, all happiness!'

Shadow Mario: Wait, Roy can change the weather?

Luigi: Yeah, he got it from rolling around in that toxic waste. Either that or he’s hallucinating.

Little did Roy know that this would lead to a major disasters all over.

Luigi: And little did he know that it wasn’t winter he feared, but rather… himself.

Shadow Mario: What kind of disasters? Like, giant reptiles in Tokyo or a large monkey on the Empire State Building?

It was okay at first but once the cold fronts were unable to perform their duties, climate changes were happening everywhere.

Shadow Mario: Suddenly, summer became winter, spring became fall, and up became down!

But first, let’s review the normal averages first!
 

	Summer Average Temperature	Winter Average Temperature
Grass Land	75-85F	25-45F
Desert Land	95-105F	75-90F
Water Land	65-80F	40-60F
Giant Land	80-90F	35-55F
Sky Land	60-75F	20-40F
Ice Land	10-35F	(-)20-0F
Pipe Land	75-85F	65-80F
Dark Land	85-120F	50-70F

Luigi: Kudos to anyone who cares about the weather in fictional areas.

It was November, and winter was on the horizon when Roy initated his plan, His land went from 50F to 80F, and enjoyed hawaii like weather, while others were in for a surprise.

Luigi: But his land is above the clouds, therefore he always has the sun beating down on him.

Shadow Mario: And it wasn’t as good as Hawaii since there were no palm trees, hula dancers, or unbearable tourist traps.

The first impact was Grass Land. There had been an extra-long summer there, and there were anxiously awaiting winter so they could get relief from the heat. The crops were getting extra time, so people didn't complain at first.

Shadow Mario: However, they did start complaining when they realized that their crops were Piranha Plants.

The temperature should have have been dropping, and the leaves should have began falling, but the opposite was happening, the temperature was rising! The daily temperature was 90F in November!

Luigi: DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!!

Shadow Mario: The plot thickens!

Larry liked it, for the plants anyway, but knew something was wrong. The area was also losing precipitation, so the heat was beginning to kill the plants, and A/C bills were through the roof!

Luigi: Don’t forget about the lemonade sales. Oh, the horror of small kids trying to make money!

Next, was Desert Land. It was dry as always, but the temperature stayed the same as in summer and there was more rain than usual.

Shadow Mario: So wait… It was dry, but rainy?

Luigi: Don’t ask, don’t tell.

Shadow Mario: Right…

This was due to the cold fronts bouncing over Grass Land and interacting with the heat of the desert. The desert had poor soil that was not able to absorb the excess water, causing flooding in many areas, as well as thick fog!

Shadow Mario: Oh no, not fog! Anything but fog!

Ice Land was next. The temperature was raising steadily, glaciers were melting everywhere, and Lemmy was freaking out majorly.

Luigi: However, his underlings were only minorly freaking out.

Shadow Mario:
Minions: Ah! The water’s coming! But we’re cool with it.

The waters were becoming warm enough to swim in without getting frostbite, and it caused flooding everywhere. There was also major fog.

Shadow Mario: And nice weather is bad because…?

Luigi: Because there was even more fog! It’s like that Stephen King story The Mist.

Water Land was affected adversely also. The water levels were rising due to ice land's meltdown, causing some places to become majorly engulfed by water. Many people almost drowned.

Shadow Mario: Don’t worry, they didn’t drown. Those nice people who run in slow motion on beaches saved them.

Wendy was enjoying this until she got hit by a gigantic tidal wave, which was cold water. "I hate cold! It's not fair!" she screamed after that incident.

Luigi: She got hit by a tidal wave, and the only problem was that it was too cold? I thought tidal waves killed people.

Pipe Land was next. It is is a tropic zone, but Ice Land's cold front had to go somewhere, didn't they?

Luigi: No, they just disappeared. Like magic… Ooh…

Pipe Land had its very first snow ever! Many tornadoes stuck, destroying buildings and killing many plants.

Shadow Mario: Yes, the tornadoes stuck to the ground, whirling cows around at zero feet above sea level.

Luigi: I hear they don’t feel as safe in the sky.

Ludwig was freezing; he used the heater for the first time ever.

Shadow Mario: Not even that time he was in a block of ice? That must have been nasty

Dark Land even had doused fires, and that's when Bowser was completely in the dark! Heh, Heh, Heh!

Luigi: It’s a sad day when the omniscient voice starts laughing like a weirdo.

Shadow Mario: Yeah, and isn’t it a good thing that fires are doused? The owners of the burning places would be pretty pleased.

Bowser was steamed and called for an explanation for all of this.

Shadow Mario: Oh no, more water jokes.

Luigi:
Bowser: Someone tell me why the burning buildings aren’t burning anymore!
Underling: It seems that the fire department is actually doing its job.
Bowser: Tell them to stop!

Meanwhile, Roy was enjoying total bliss, nice warm breezes, and gentle rains, oblivious to what was going on!

Luigi: Yay…

Now, for the lands status' over the last three weeks of this:
 

Shadow Mario: Would anyone like to raise their hand if they’re actually reading the chart?

No one does so.

Shadow Mario: That’s what I thought.

Bowser and the other Koopalings called for a meeting concerning these complaints. "This is a serious matter!" growled Bowser, who was grumpy because he hadn't taken his lava bath.

Luigi: Yeah, most people get a little peeved when their skin hasn’t been burned off in a while.

Shadow Mario: Lord knows I do.

"Ludwig, have you been messing around with your climate control invention lately?"

Shadow Mario:
Ludwig: Maybe…

Luigi:
Ludwig: No, just using it to enslave all of humanity.
Bowser: Good, carry on.

"Not I, King Dad!" said Ludwig.

Luigi:
Bowser: Who needs proper grammar at a time like this!

"Wait a second, who's the only one who hasn't complained about changes or diasters lately?" Bowser asked.

"Iggy and Roy!" Wendy shouted.

"It wasn't me!" Iggy whimpered. "I don't know anything about weather!"

Luigi:
Iggy: Besides knowing everything about fronts, temperature, air pressure, etc, I know nothing about weather!

"Then it must be Roy!" Bowser fumed.

Shadow Mario: Brilliant deduction, Sherlock!

Luigi: He fumed out his words? Is that possible?

Shadow Mario: It takes a certain amount of skill, but yes.

Roy received a call from Dark Land...

"What's up King Dad?" Roy asked.

"You have been messing around with the climate, haven't you?!" Bowser snapped.

Shadow Mario: Wow, does he begin all conversations like that?

"I hereby sentence you to the dungeon for three months, and you will fix the climate before you go!"

Luigi: Also seems like a good time for impromptu accusations and punishments.

Roy looked surprised. "But I hated winter, so I just thought-"

Luigi:
Bowser: WE DON’T ALLOW YOU TO THINK!

"You really caused chaos everywhere!" Bowser screamed. "Don't you know that there is for every action an equal or opposite reaction?! Now get to work!"

Shadow Mario: Wow, Bowser knows physics?

Luigi: Yes, he got a Nobel Prize on it in ’92.

Shadow Mario: Really?

Luigi: No.

Roy did his work, then went to the dungeon for three months.

Things slowly returned to normal. Winter finally came and balanced things out just in time, before even more damage was done.

Shadow Mario: Damage to what, the environment, or the people who read this story?

Luigi: I’d say both.

This is a lesson in global warming, folks!

Shadow Mario: Did you learn anything?

Luigi: Nope.

Shadow Mario: Me neither.

Shadow Mario: Yes! Finally! Saved!

The two leave the theater, making sure to skip the nonexistent credits.

Luigi: It wasn’t that bad, was it?

Shadow Mario: It’s KNOWLEDGE. The author’s trying to use video games to teach us things about the environment.

Luigi: THE HORROR!

Shadow Mario: Exactly.

Luigi: Well, I’m off to find out why I’m here with you.

Shadow Mario: I’m going to go and return video games to their rightful status as mind-numbing.

Luigi: You do that.