Swooper: Anyone want a hug?

Dark Koopa: Stop coming in here and asking for hugs.

Swooper: (demonic voice) I'll get you later.

Dark Koopa: You said that already. It has no meaning.

(The Swooper frowns and flies away.)

Dark Koopa: Yeah, today I interview K9.

Husky_Washu: Doggies! <3

Dark Koopa: Text emotes.... Creepy... Yeah, those shall never appear again. But yeah, it's a dog, sorta.

Thumbs: Canine... K9. Ooh, a pun. I get it.

Pura: You're quick.

Thumbs: I know, thanks.

K9: Bow wow.

Dark Koopa: Yes... Um, you're a robot. Why is that?

K9: Because we were built in Smithy's Factory and were designed to look and act like dogs. Well, not look so much... but you get the idea.

Dark Koopa: And why haven't you appeared in other games?

K9: Because when Smithy went bye bye, we stopped being made.

Dark Koopa: Why are you blue?

K9: Smithy likes blue.

Dark Koopa: Kay. What about the orange ones?

K9: Oh yes. Those are stronger versions of us. Those are rarer. Smithy likes orange too.

(A vampire enters the studio.)

Vampire: I'm the Swooper! Bwah!

Dark Koopa: Anyway, why do you appear-

Swooper: Do I have to slaughter someone to get some attention around here?

Dark Koopa: No.

Swooper: Or a hug.

Dark Koopa: Yes.

Swooper: Fine.

(The Swooper begins slaughtering audience members.)

Pura: Very nice, Swooper, but try not to make a mess.

(Pura can be seen reading a newspaper.)

Dark Koopa: Before I was so RUDELY interrupted...

(Screams can be heard.)

Dark Koopa: Shh!

(They grow louder.)

Dark Koopa: *sigh* Must we have havoc every Interview?

Thumbs: Just a majority.

Dark Koopa: Blah. K9, why do you appear in Bandit's Way and pretty much nowhere else?

K9: That's where the Factory shipped us off to. I'm not sure why they picked they spot, but it was most likely due to lack of security.

Dark Koopa: And the ones at Land's End?

K9: Those were for Belome.

Dark Koopa: Belome was in it with Smithy?

K9: Nah, I made that up.

Dark Koopa: Boo. That would have made an interesting plot point.

K9: Yeah, it was just like with those of us that went to Bandit's Way. It's where we were shipped off to due to lack of security.

Pura: I said not to leave a mess!

Swooper: Murder is not a clean service.

Pura: You didn't have to murder them. Just harm them profusely.

Swooper: Oops.

Pura: I don't really care if you clean it up or not. I'm not the janitor.

(Wooster shakes his fist at Pura.)

Pura: You missed someone.

(Wooster runs off.)

Dark Koopa: Any differences between your howl and that of a regular dog?

K9: Ours is scarier. Mush scarier.

Dark Koopa: So you're like a werewolf?

K9: WE ARE SUPERIOR TO THAT PATHETIC RACE OF MOONRAKERS!

Dark Koopa: I'll write that down as a no.

K9: Write "SUPERIOR"!

Dark Koopa: Yeah, sure.

(Dark Koopa writes "No".)

Dark Koopa: Anyway, it's time for the ROULETTE OF FATE as saying things in CAPS makes them sound more IMPORTANT.

Thumbs: Roulette of fate? Like thirty people have done that already.

Dark Koopa: Coin flip of fate?

Thumbs: Simpsons did it! I mean, a tourist did it.

Dark Koopa: Fruits of Doom?

Thumbs: That was in Mario Party 4.

Dark Koopa: Bleah. I guess I'll just let this guy go.

K9: Yay!

(K9 gets up to leave, but a stage light falls on him.)

Dark Koopa: ... That wasn't me. Thumbs?

Thumbs: Nope.

Dark Koopa: Pura?

Pura: Not worth the effort.

Dark Koopa: I guess that's another one for Unsolved Mysteries.

Swooper: Hug!

(The Swooper hugs Pura.)

Pura: ...

Swooper: Hug?

(Pura takes out a piece of meat.)

Swooper: Ahhh! Not the steak! Don't drive it through my heart!

(The Swooper flees.)

Thumbs: I thought we did that joke before.

Dark Koopa: Probably.

(The Unsolved Mysteries theme plays.)

Dark Koopa: Eww.