Lemmy: You're standing on the black tape.

Dark Koopa: I am?

Lemmy: Yes. Out of my office! Now!

Dark Koopa: I don't know how to get out. There's black tape all over the place.

Lemmy: Out!

(Lemmy slams a non-existent door.)

Dark Koopa: Weirdo.

(Thumbs can be seen laying down more black tape.)

Dark Koopa: Thumbs...

Thumbs: Lemmy made me do it.

Dark Koopa: Just bring out the interviewee.

Thumbs: Uh, sure. Come out, Dark.

Dark Koopa: I am out. Of money.

Dark Boo: He means me.

Dark Koopa: Blasphemy! Uh, I guess I'll have to call you DB.

Dark Boo: That's what everyone calls me.

Dark Koopa: Convenient. Now, where do you like to hang out, DB?

Dark Boo: Eww, don't call me that!

Dark Koopa: Um...

Dark Boo: Poshley Sanctum.

Dark Koopa: Why's that?

Dark Boo: There's some kind of weird aura there that's refreshing to float around in. I think it comes from the Garnet Star.

Dark Koopa: And Pennington doesn't mind you're there?

Dark Boo: Nah, we help guard the Crystal Star.

Dark Koopa: Why'd you attack Mario then?

Dark Boo: Bowser's orders.

Dark Koopa: You work for Bowser?

Dark Boo: He bribed us.

Pura: I just wanted to state I'm very annoyed right now.

Dark Koopa: I don't care. Er, I mean, why?

Pura: I lost a million coins because I didn't have a toothbrush.

Dark Koopa: HAHAHA! I told you! I told you and you didn't listen! Go me!

(Pura growls.)

Dark Koopa: I mean, that's too bad. Sorry to hear that. Yeah...

Pura: I'm going to go blow up a city.

Thumbs: Have fun!

Dark Koopa: How come you haven't been seen in any previous game?

Dark Boo: We just recently came over from a mystical, far away place called Deleware.

Dark Koopa: Deleware?

Dark Boo: Okay, not Deleware, but I forgot the name of the place. I'm not very observant.

Dark Koopa: So you only appeared in the Poshley Sanctum?

Dark Boo: Nah, we appeared in the Pit of 100 Trials as well.

Dark Koopa: Why were you there?

Dark Boo: Bonetail made us stay. We weren't about to disobey the guy. He eats ghosts.

Dark Koopa: Okay, audience time. Seat 79.

X-Naut: Dude, where's my ca-

(The X-Naut is catapulted out of the studio.)

Dark Koopa: We are NOT making a running gag out of that.

Lord Crump: Shutting up.

Thumbs: But you didn't say anything.

Lord Crump: Shh! He'll hear you!

Thumbs: Who will hear me?

Lord Crump: The mummy.

Thumbs: Eh?

Lord Crump: All hail the mummy!

Thumbs: You're weird.

Dark Koopa: Seat 19.

Mack: How are you different from other Boos?

Dark Boo: We're purple, we have yellow eyes, and we can stay invisible a bit longer. That's about it.

Mack: Oh, so you're like one of those lame upgrades like Dark Koopas.

Dark Boo: ...

Dark Koopa: ...

(Mack gets catapulted.)

Dark Koopa: I want my dizzy attack back... *sniff*

Iggy: I like eggs.

Dark Boo: You scare me.

Dark Koopa: Seat 8.

Luigi: Do you expect to appear in another game?

Dark Boo: Well, if there's a Paper Mario 3, I'll most likely show up, but otherwise, I dunno. I can't predict what I'll do. I'm a free spirit.

Dark Koopa: A free spirit who works for Bonetail.

Dark Boo: Yep.

Iggy: I like eggs.

Dark Koopa: Great. Give yourself a pat on the back.

(Iggy does so.)

Dark Boo: He's creeping me out.

Thumbs: I like swords.

Iggy: I like eggs.

Thumbs: I like swords.

Iggy: I like eggs.

Guard 1: Welcome to Cornelia.

Dark Koopa: We're starting to go deep into 8-Bit Theater waters. Better end this.

(Dark Koopa pulls a lever and the audience is buried in confetti. Wooster faints.)

Dark Koopa: Amusing. End transmission.