Dark Koopa: Today I will not break the fourth wall, but I will put a space in the name of my co-interviewer guy, Metal Yoshi.

Metal: Today I will beat Dark Koopa over the head with this large hammer.

(Metal does so.)

Dark Koopa: Ow... Fine, MetalYoshi. So... interviewee... You brought one, right?

Metal: Umm... no?

Dark Koopa: Gah... Well, Thumbs will get one.

(Jr. Troopa falls through the roof.)

Dark Koopa: Told ya.

Metal: I'm not paying for the roof.

Thumbs: Yeah, go me! Getting credited for stuff I didn't do!

Dark Koopa: I guess we'll interview this... thing.

Metal: You there! What is your name?

Jr. Troopa: Troopa, Jr. Troopa.

Metal: What is your quest?

Jr. Troopa: To wreck things, one studio at a time.

Metal: WHAT IS LOVE?

Dark Koopa: Erm...

Metal: Baby, don't hurt me... Don't hurt me... No more....

Dark Koopa: Pura! Somebody's being stupid! And it's not me this time!

Metal: Heh heh... I'm done, I promise.

Pura: Aww...

Dark Koopa: Good, now ask this turtle thing a question.

Metal: It's your turn.

Dark Koopa: Turn? What is this turn you speak of?

Metal: Moving right along... Troopa, what games were you in?

Jr. Troopa: Just Paper Mario. I did make a cameo in Paper Mario 2 though.

Metal: Pity that you weren't in the second one, I would have enjoyed a stalker boss. You'd be the perfect one to beat up continually.

Jr. Troopa: Hey!

Dark Koopa: Crump was better.

Jr. Troopa: HEY!

Metal: Ooh, that was low. But yet so true.

Jr. Troopa: Grrr!

Dark Koopa: Um, why are you all covered in egg and stuff?

Jr. Troopa: Well, why do you wear a shell?

Dark Koopa: Everybody was doing it. I just wanted to be popular...

Jr. Troopa: Oh, well... that's a completely different reason from mine.

Dark Koopa: And what reason was that?

Jr. Troopa: The egg is s'posed to make me look younger than I am, making people think I'm weaker than I really am.

Dark Koopa: That didn't work with Kammy. It won't work with you either!

(Dark Koopa smacks Troopa with a rolled up newspaper.)

Jr. Troopa: Ow! You're mean!

Metal: Dark, Dark, Dark. If you're going to hit him, use something heavier.

Dark Koopa: Like...?

Metal: A two-by-four.

Dark Koopa: Maybe later.

Jr. Troopa: Hey metal thing, don't give the bully ideas.

Metal: "Metal thing"? Excuse me?

Jr. Troopa: Well, you're metal... and a thing.

Metal: Metal: Fine, egg thing.

Jr. Troopa: Just ask me a question, jerk!

Metal: I heard that you kissed the ground after you got out of Forever Forest. Is this true?

Jr. Troopa: What?! How'd you know?!

Metal: It's one of the funniest moments in Paper Mario. Everyone who's played it knows you've done that.

Jr. Troopa: Wha? How? Why?

Dark Koopa: Haha! Loser! Anyway, why do you act like a bully? You're clearly a wimp.

Jr. Troopa: Shut up!

Dark Koopa: Woo, witty comeback right there.

Jr. Troopa: Grr... well, I want people to be afraid of me. Gives me more confidence.

Metal: But nobody's afraid of you.

Jr. Troopa: They aren't?

Metal: Nope.

Jr. Troopa: ...

Dark Koopa: Haha! You're lame!

Jr. Troopa: Shut up and ask me something else!

Dark Koopa: Okay... Where'd you get the spiked cap and wings from?

Jr. Troopa: Bob's Pet Store.

Thumbs: That place sure does get a lot of business...

Metal: How'd you get into Bowser's castle anyways?

Jr. Troopa: I flew up there, obviously.

Dark Koopa: How'd you know Mario was up there?

Jr. troopa: I was following him, of course.

Dark Koopa: STALKER!

Metal: That's why he's called a stalker boss.

Dark Koopa: Lies.

Metal: Prove it!

Dark Koopa: Dang... No one ever says that...

Metal: Hah hah, your reasoning is flawed.

Dark Koopa: You shut up. Now, Troopa, where'd ya get that wand staff thingy?

Jr. Troopa: Bob's Pet-

Dark Koopa: Don't say it!

Jr. Troopa: I got it from my Magikoopa grandfather.

Metal: You mean you have family?!

Jr. Troopa: Yeah... But I don't think they like me much. They make me sleep in a doghouse.

Metal: You deserve it, stalker.

Jr. Troopa: Waah...

Dark Koopa: Um... yeah... Why do you have issues with Mario again?

Jr. Troopa: He's cooler than me.

Metal: Then why aren't you attacking everyone else who exists?

Jr. Troopa: Shut up...

Dark Koopa: Haha, you lose, Obi-wan.

Jr. Troopa: I don't get it.

Dark Koopa: Star Wars.

Jr. Troopa: You mean stars fight each other?

Dark Koopa: Were you dropped on your head when you were little?

Jr. Troopa: Yes. Many times. Why?

Dark Koopa: No reason... Now, when you were frozen in a block of ice, how'd you survive and escape?

Jr. Troopa: Some Bumpties found me and dragged me to town and into an inn. I had cocoa! Yay!

Metal: You bring shame to everyone who has ever used the word "yay".

Jr. Troopa: You be quiet, Metal Yoshi!

Metal: Oh, THAT'S it!

(Metal eats and eggifies Jr. Troopa.)

Dark Koopa: Use the two-by-four!

(Metal whacks the egg containing Jr. Troopa with a two-by-four.)

Dark Koopa: Golf golf!

(Metal whacks Troopa as if he was a golf ball.)

Dark Koopa: Four! I mean, fore!

(Troopa falls in a hole... and expolodes. Why? Because I said so.)

Dark Koopa: Well, I think he's dead... so we should wrap this up.

Metal: Mmm, yeah.

(Dark Koopa hops onto Metal's back.)

Dark Koopa: Yeehaw! Giddy up, horsie!

(Metal bucks Dark Koopa off.)

Dark Koopa: Aww...

Metal: Fun fact, Dark. Bucking is a lot more violent than "aww".

(Dark Koopa explodes.)

Thumbs: ...

Pura: Not bad, Metal... Um, end transmission?

Metal: Sure.