Lemmy: Good evening, and welcome to Lemmy's Interviews! You may be a little concerned because of the title, but trust me, I'm not actually interviewing myself. I'm actually interviewing my clone.

Lemmy: Don't listen to a word he says! I'm the real Lemmy, and he's the clone. I should be the one welcoming you to Lemmy's Interviews, because I'm Lemmy!

Lemmy: Er, well, it seems that my clone is a little confused today, but hopefully I will get both you and him straightened out.

Lemmy: You know, I don't really have time for this. I've got a big website, and I need to get back to my update!

Lemmy: I'll set him straight, folks. Only I would know the answer to this. Hey clone, where do I keep my Freeze Gun?

Lemmy: I keep my Freeze Gun in a small locked compartment at the back of my closet!

Lemmy: What's the combination to my safe?

Lemmy: 24 right, 14 left, 4 right, and then you, or should I say, I, have to say "Roy is an idiot"!

Roy: I'm gonna get you - both of you - later!

Lemmy: I don't think this is going to work, so-

Lemmy: -Let's take some questions from the audience!

Lemmy: You, in seat 475.

Koopa Troopa: When did you get cloned?

Lemmy: It was an experiment gone wrong in Ludwig's lab many years ago. I was three, and then I was cloned. We were confused at first as to which one was real, but now I know that I'm the real one.

Lemmy: He's right, except that I am the real Lemmy here, and we weren't confused at all, but he wanted to be the real one.

Lemmy: Whatever. You, in seat 92.

Bowser: You'd better get this straightened out and fast, cuz I'm only gonna feed one of you!

Lemmy: You know me, King Dad! I'm your son!

Lemmy: Ugh! Can't you see how fake he is? He doesn't look anything like me!

Lemmy: You, in seat 210.

Karma: Do you two get along?

Lemmy and Lemmy: No!

Lemmy: You, in seat 211.

Ludwig: I'll reverse the effects of the experiment if you dispose of Karma...

Lemmy: Ok!

Lemmy: No!

Lemmy: Shoot! Then we can't!

Lemmy: You, in seat 87.

Lemmy: Hey! I'm leading the interview here!

Lemmy: No, me!

Lemmy: Me!

Lemmy: Me!

Matthew: Hey, can one of you tell me what the new sections in your Land are going to be?

(Lemmy and Lemmy look at each other.)

Lemmy: Well, that's about all the time we both have for today! Be sure to be here next time when I-

Lemmy: He means me, will interview some one else.

Lemmy: I know who it is, but he doesn't.

Lemmy: That's a lie! I know all the answers around my Land because it's mine!

Lemmy: Mine!

Lemmy: No, mine!

(The two Lemmys scream so loud that the camera, which has been moved to a locked safe with a bulletproof window, shatters.)