Thumbs: Well, we couldn't find you that chicken sandwich, so we got you a Podoboo to interview.

Dark Koopa: I want my chicken sandwich though.

Thumbs: Too bad. Ratings show that people like Podoboos better,

Dark Koopa: (mumbling) Stupid ratings... If only they knew I was hungry.

Thumbs: *checks the rating again* Yes, that's part of the reason.

Dark Koopa: Bah... I'm too hungry to interview alone...

Thumbs: Don't look at me. I've gotten over the aluminum foil.

Dark Koopa: We need someone... interesting... Like a smelly hybrid.

Thumbs: I got it!

(Later, Goombario is sitting in the interviewer seat.)

Dark Koopa: He is smelly, but I don't think he's a hybrid.

Thumbs: He isn't?

Dark Koopa: *pokes Goombario* Nope, not quite.

Thumbs: Darn con artists...

Podoboo: Can I just be inte-

Thumbs: I got it!

Later...

Dark Koopa: No. Rocks aren't hybrids.

Thumbs: Dang...

Delrin: I'm not a rock!

Dark Koopa: *pokes Delrin* He sure looks like one.

Delrin: Well, I'm not. *waves* See? Rocks don't move.

Podoboo: That is a hy-

Thumbs: I'm not convinced.

Delrin: ...

Dark Koopa: *sniff* Well, at least he smells.

Delrin: Leave me alone, Cloud boy here kept me from taking my bath.

Thumbs: Look, I'd rather not go out looking for hybrids again. Just interview with the rock.

Dark Koopa: *grumble* Fine...

Delrin: I'm not a rock!

Podoboo: I'm finally gonna be interviewed! This is the happiest day of my li-

Mallow: I did not!

Dark Koopa: Shut up, you stupid flame... with eyes... I want my chicken sandwich!

Thumbs: You'd better ask questions. This audience is already mad that they haven't moved in months.

Dark Koopa: I don't care.

(The audience grabs pitchforks and burning torches.)

Dark Koopa: *yawn* Nope, not until I get my chicken sandwich.

Audience: IN-TER-VIEW! IN-TER-VIEW!

Dark Koopa: Chick-en sand-wich. Chick-en sand-wich.

Audience: CHICK-EN SAND-WHICH! ... Wha?

Dark Koopa: Exactly. Give!

(A giant chicken attacks Dark Koopa.)

Dark Koopa: Ow... Close, but it's not a sandwich!

Delrin: So... Why exactly am I here?

Dark Koopa: Interview the fireball, I want my sandwich.

Delrin: Interview? Why me?!

Podoboo: I'm never gonna get interviewed...

Dark Koopa: Because you're smelly.

Delrin: And you're an idiot.

Dark Koopa: A wha?

Thumbs: *sigh* While they fight, Podoboo, how come you're on fire?

Podoboo: Magic.

Dark Koopa: Score!

Thumbs: Why fire?

Delrin: You are an idiot. A blockhead, a dimwit, a dumbbell, dunce, dunderhead, fool, halfwit, ignoramus, imbecile, kook, meathead, moron, nincompoop, ninny, nitwit, pinhead, pointy head, simpleton, stupid, tomfool, twit, and yo-yo.

Podoboo: I have a burning passion.

Thumbs: That was a horrible pun. You're probably gonna die when this is over.

Dark Koopa: *pulls out a yo-yo* So I'm this thing?

Delrin: Yes, that's your brain. Put it back in your head before your brain string snaps.

Podoboo: Ooh...

Thumbs: So why do you live in lava?

Podoboo: So we don't sizzle out. We gotta be in hot places.

Thumbs: There's nowhere hot here.

Podoboo: Well, if I don't go back soon, I may fizz out.

(Lemmy turns up the air conditioning. Dark Koopa throws the yo-yo in Delrin's face.)

Delrin: Ow! What was that for, stupid?!

Dark Koopa: You're a jerk.

Delrin: Jerk is another word for Idiot, which is you.

Dark Koopa: *looks in the dictionary* Is not!

(Delrin looks in the thesaurus and shows it to Dark.)

Delrin: Is too!

Dark Koopa: Oh yeah? Well... well... Gullible isn't in the dictionary!

(Delrin turns Dark's dictionary to G and points to Gullible.)

Delrin: "Easily deceived or duped", see?

Dark Koopa: Yeah, well, look, a monkey!

Donkey Kong: Ruh?

Delrin: Ukiki.

Dark Koopa: Grinder.

Delrin: Grinder?

Dark Koopa: That's what the monkeys were called in Yoshi's Island.

Thumbs: What are you under that fire? A ghost?

Podoboo: Yup.

Thumbs: So how'd you die?

Podoboo: I fell in some lava.

Thumbs: ... Wait...

Podoboo: Huh?

Thumbs: Well, if you died because of fire why would you want to be reincarnated as...

Podoboo: *blink*

Thumbs: Never mind. I'm setting myself up for another pun, but what do Podoboos eat?

Podoboo: Fire.

Thumbs: Oh, that wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be.

Podoboo: What do you mean?

Thumbs: Well, I work with a buncha nutjobs, so I figured you'd say something like "fried food" or "spicy stuff" or "Chicken Flambé".

Podoboo: Oh yeah, that too.

Thumbs: ... Must... control... Fist... of Death...

Podoboo: What's that?

Thumbs: Nothing... nothing... Now then, are you related to Pyro Guys?

Podoboo: No, they're actually alive.

Delrin: Interview the fire thing!

Dark Koopa: Not without my chicken sandwich!

Delrin: Look, if I promise to get you a chicken sandwich, will you do your thing?

Dark Koopa: No, it's not enough!

Delrin: What?

Dark Koopa: I challenge you to a RACE AROUND THE WORLD! GO!

Delrin: Isn't that like... copyright infringement?

Dark Koopa: What's that? To the Dark Mobile!

Delrin: "Dark Mobile"? This is like... Sue-city.

Dark Koopa: (flying away in plane) Can't hear you!

Delrin: ... Whatever.

Thumbs: Who would win in a fight between a Podoboo and a Pyro Guy?

Podoboo: I have no clue...

Thumbs: Would an ice attack really hurt you?

Podoboo: I would melt the ice before it reached me.

Thumbs: So what about that badge with the ice powers?

Podoboo: It's a lie! ALL A LIE!

(Thumbs touches Podoboo with an ice cube.)

Podoboo: OW!

Thumbs: So why don't you have a mouth?

Podoboo: Uh...

Thumbs: Now that I think of it, how do you TALK without a mouth?

Podoboo: That's a family secret!

Thumbs: You're on live TV.

Podoboo: Um... hmm... Sign language.

Thumbs: ... Well, I've heard weirder.

Dark Koopa: Aha! You're losing!

Delrin: I thought you were gone!

Dark Koopa: I'm calling you from Andorra.

Delrin: Whatever, I'm just giving you a head start.

Dark Koopa: Suuurrrre you are.

Thumbs: Are you related to any other species?

Podoboo: Well, Boos of course.

Thumbs: What about Wigglers, are they related?

Podoboo: No.

Thumbs: Dang, I owe Dark ten bucks...

(Delrin’s phone rings.)

Delrin: ... Wha?

(Delrin answers the phone.)

Dark Koopa: I'm stillll winning!

Delrin: No you're not.

Dark Koopa: Then where are you?

Delrin: Two steps away from the finish line.

Dark Koopa: Eeek, no! *hangs up*

Delrin: Haha, that was awesome.

Thumbs: What about Lava Bubbles, you're the same thing, right?

Podoboo: Yup.

Thumbs: I knew it!

Thumbs: (performing victory dance) Go Thumbs, go Thumbs.

Podoboo: People don't believe in us because our name suggests we're ghosts, which people don't believe in, so we changed it to Lava Bubble so people think we're actually alive.

(Thumbs continues his victory dance.)

Podoboo: Um...

Thumbs: Hold on, not done.

Podoboo: Now?

Thumbs: *looks at his watch* A few more seconds.

Podoboo: One... two... three... Now?

Thumbs: Yeah, that's good. Why do you jump up and down in lava?

Podoboo: I like to see the world above the lava.

Thumbs: Why not just hover above it? You do that now...

Podoboo: We don't always do that... And that’s because we enjoy the heat from the lava.

Delrin: Hey, Opposable, isn't it time for the audience to ask questions?

Thumbs: Oh! Yes, audience questions! Now get off the Goomba sitting in Seat 43!

Goomba: Ow... Why does your flames come in different colors?

Thumbs: Your grammar stinks.

Podoboo: It's because their flames are hotter.

Goomba: Is that how they're able to live in not so-hot places?

Podoboo: Yes, let's go with that.

Thumbs: Seat 28.

Lord Crump: Buh?

Thumbs: Seat 28.

Lord Crump That my seat?

Thumbs: Yes.

Lord Crump: Is not! Okay, it is...

Delrin: Just ask the question!

Lord Crump: Err, why don't you get smaller when you shoot fireballs?

Podoboo: We can absorb extra lava to fire.

Thumbs: The pun... it burns... Gah! Another pun!

Lord Crump: Can I ask another question?

Delrin: You just did.

Lord Crump: D'oh! Another?

Thumbs: Just let him...

Lord Crump: Hooray! Do you have a maniacal laugh?

Delrin: I do!

Lord Crump: I don't care about you.

Podoboo: Bwahaha?

Lord Crump: Lame...

Delrin: Can I pick the next person?

Thumbs: Sure, go ahead.

(Delrin flips a coin.)

Delrin: *The coin says seat... 127.0.0.1?

(Silence...)

Thumbs: You have weird coins.

Lemmy: That's not a seat, just so you know.

Delrin: So what?

Koopa: Hey, have y-

Delrin: Are you seat 127.0.0.1?

Koopa: Um... no?

Delrin: Go ahead.

Koopa: Have you ever gone to an ice rink?

Podoboo: You... sick... Koopa...

Koopa: Huh?

Podoboo: An ice rink killed my father!

Koopa: Bwahaha!

(The Koopa flees via 12 story window.)

Lord Crump: Now that's the kinda laugh I'm looking for!

Podoboo: I'LL GET YOU BACK SOMEDAY!!!

(A plane crashes through the roof of the studio, Dark Koopa falling out of it.)

Dark Koopa: I win!

Delrin: Congratulations, your prize is... nothing!

Thumbs: All right, I think now's a good time to end this before someone gets really badly hurt.

Plane's Pilot: MY LEG!

Thumbs: Quiet you! END TRANSMISSION!

Delrin: Works for me.

(Delrin melts the camera lens with a fireball.)